Would you stay with your husband just for the kids,even if you dont love him?

Question

My wife just left me to go back to her ex,because her kids dont want to live with us because i'm to strict what do i do?

Answer 1

let her go.. sounds more to me she was looking for an excuse to leave more so then that was the actual reason..

Were u to strict? were u unfair and going overboard with the kids? cause if u were, then i could see her leaving, because if she felt actual "harm" was being done to her kids she has to put them as her top priority if they were in fact in "harms way" .. but on trivial things she is suppose to be a united front, and if ur both willing to compromise with each other this could of been worked out if it was just a disagreement on what do they get punished for and what kind of punishment, but if she felt u were actually phsyically or mentally abusing them , then she does have to put her children first..

And for those of you who are saying he had no right to punish her children your full of crap.. if she didnt want him to be the father figure in that household she should of never married him u cant marry someone and expect them to be a father figure just to pick and choose what they can and can not do.. your the first ones to complain "he never watches the kids so i can go do this or that" or "he never takes an active interest in the kids lives" , so u only do what suits your needs and only suits the kids needs if its a "FEEL GOOD" situation, if u dont want someone being a Father figure to your children and having a say so in their lives then DONT get married cause you'll never have a "united" family that way it will always be HER KIDS, HIS KID.. never an OUR kids, and i have 3 kids from a previous and my husband has 2 kids from a previous but when they are in our house they are OUR kids, they go by OUR rules.. all of them.. u cant pick and choose , step parents arent china that u just take out when u need them and put back when u dont..
But the rules should of been set, agreements should of been made how to handle the situation.. with the kids.. but to say a step parent has no right to be involved with punishment is ridiculous..

Answer 2

Sorry to hear that. My friend is going through with something similar. Except in his case, he is sticking around for his kids. The wife not going anywhere. I also think in your situation that that is a cop out. I mean kids today need strict guidances. I think your wife was just seeing the ex on the side and left you before someone else could tell you about it first.

Answer 3

I am so sorry, I don't think she is doing them any favors. The kids are important, but without a happy mom what kind of a life are living. Kids adjust, and maybe you were too strict, but couldn't she find a place of her own, and raise them till they got use to you. She is the Mother, maybe she is who you need. I am proud that you were giving it a chance. A lot of men wouldn't even try to raise someone else's kids, but if you did your best, and she couldn't see that-then maybe she need to go back. She is the one missing out on a good thing, so pick yourself up and find someone with some sticking power, and doesn't run away everytime something doesn't good just right. God bless us all....

Answer 4

Well i personlly would not allow my husband to correct my children so i can see why she is putting them first. On the other hand i do not punish his children either. It is not the place of a step parent to repremind a child if both real parents are still around. I mean saying no don't do that is ok but yelling or spanking a child you did not create is wrong.. now back to your question he is an ex for a reason it won't last long with him so if u want her wait she will be back around

Answer 5

They say to "look down the road." In 10 years , do you see it getting any better, or worse. I know about all the promises, but, come on, there are only so many things a person can take. And WHY go through life miserable! Years and years of misery, can lead a person to drinking, and drugs, and overeating, strokes, heart attacks. Do what you can to make it work., if you haven't already. Most people try, but you have to know when to quit. Or be a martyr!

Answer 6

sweety i feel very sorry for u. may be she still loves him and giving u excuses so u wont feel bad. being a mom i can tell u nothing is more importat than my kids. if some one is strict and they r stressed so am i and would do anything to make them comfortable. maybe she did the right thing for thr kids. no one can replace ur real dad and mom dont forget that

Answer 7

No, I wouldn't want my kids to grow up thinking a loveless marriage is normal. I would rather they see me alone than see that. I guess if your friends, close friends and you can hide it from the kids and thats what you chose, thats your business, still I think it's better for the kids not to grow up with parents who don't care about eachother anymore.

Answer 8

No i would not!! I'm sorry for you..But it seems to me she really didn't love you as much as she say.. And i don't think she was over her ex if she went back to him. To be honest i could not imagine getting back together with my ex---makes my skin crawl. I hope you find a better person to share your life...

Answer 9

well I wouldn't stay with someone if I didn't love them, as far as what you can do I don't know what your parenting methods are but remember you are not the parent you are the step parent which means you can only do so much then it is up to your wife and if that isn't enough to her it is up the there father, not you.

Answer 10

maybe things were not so bad with the other guy you should tell her that you love her (if you do) and let her decide
sorry dont know all the circumstances but feel that there must be more than what you told us