I am 20 years old, and I have met a really great guy. He is 14 years older than me and he is my cousin through marriage, twice removed. I have never seen or spent enough time with him to consider him family. This weekend was the first time we have ever spent time together at all. I am ready to settle down with kids and family, ducks, horses, pigs and my education, the whole bit. But a lot of my family would not like it very much, and would be very mean. I am completely and utterly confused. I am best friends with my mother, I would have to leave my mom. I am scare to go out there,and yet I am ready.
2006-07-25 03:44:03 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
My mother and I have been talking,she is very close to him and has known him all her life. He had never been married. She says it shocks her because she always thought he would fall for someone, not her daughter. She wants me to be happy, and loves me. Some of my family will be very mean, and I have issues with always trying to make my family happy. So I am scared to say anything because they can be mean. He had assured me they will not be mean to me.
2006-07-25 04:01:30 · update #1
Family, ducks and horses is my dream, too but I'm 23 with a wonderful guy and I know I've got some time for all that! You haven't exactly mentioned how he feels about you. If you're really in love, then just enjoy being in love for right now. There's no rush to get married. And he's of no blood relation to you and a distant cousin at that, so what does that even matter? The age thing is the biggest concern I see. You are both at completely different parts of life. Your adult life is just starting. He's already been there for awhile. He's at an age where he can settle down quite easily and have kids. But you haven't even experienced your own life. To be honest, it sounds like a crush to me. But if you're really in love, it won't matter if you wait a few years to get married. For now enjoy being together, but enjoy the freedom you have in knowing that you still have choices. You can get an education, travel the world, just do things without being loaded down by family. Once you get married, that's it. Marriage, family, changes everything. Just don't do anything you'll regret later.
2006-07-25 04:51:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let see the negatives:
*14 years older
*Cousin
*married?
*Lives far away
*Your family would not like it
*You only know him since a week ago
You should spend more time with this person and get to know him better before taking any rushed, idiotic, romantic decision.
You barely know this person enough to be able to consider him a "friend", let alone a romantic interest.
Besides... blood-related or not, he's still your cousin! Why don't you try looking for love somewhere else before considering him?
ps: Your relationship with your mother sounds a bit too clingy and unhealthy to me, by the way. Maybe theraphy is your answer?
2006-07-25 03:58:04 · answer #2 · answered by Firefox 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your best friends with your mother... I say talk to her! She'll give you the best advice in the world because she loves you and wants the best for you and plus she has so much experience, trust me.. I'm only 27 and I wish I could go back to 20 knowing what I know now. so trust her, her advice will be the best in this specific situation.
Plus remember you are only 20 have a whole life ahead of you, people to meet, places to go, so just take it easy, finish school, find a job, become independent and then you will be able to make your own smart decisions about your love life...
Marriage is for a very long time and you have to really know someone before you jump into it just like that.
2006-07-25 03:55:13 · answer #3 · answered by C a R L i T a 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is your life and your happiness at stake here and these people will not be living with you! Get my point? Marry this man if that is what you both want and either your family can accept or reject. Doesn't really matter because family can be a real trip sometimes! There is absolutely no reason to be confused,your family does not dictate how you should live,who you should marry,etc. Just go for it!
You both have my blessing!
2006-07-25 04:11:27 · answer #4 · answered by December Princess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say at 20 years old you still aren't ready. If you don't want to do something then don't do it. If this guy is married then its a moot point as theres nothing you can do about it. Forget him, find someone else, and when in doubt talk to your mom.
2006-07-25 03:48:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Your cousin through marriage" actually makes him your cousin's cousin. There is no blood relation between you and him.
My mother's sister (my aunt) married a man (my uncle through marriage). This man's sister (my aunt's sister in law) has a daughter. Although she is my aunt's niece (through marriage), she is not related to me. Although when my aunt proposed fixing us up, I started humming the banjo tune from "Deliverance". :) In other words, even though there was no relation, I thought it was too close for comfort.
2006-07-25 03:54:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok I only saw the 14 years older and your cousin. Do you live in Kentucky? Leave him alone. He just wants ***. Run girl RUN!!!!
2006-07-25 03:49:58 · answer #7 · answered by Kim 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
since you said something about him being your cousin? you need to run! Besides, the guy is 14yrs older than you...what are you thinking?
2006-07-25 03:57:50 · answer #8 · answered by Jenifer O 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋