And then what would you do next? Would you try to work it out? Would you leave him? My boyfriend is Italian and has "passion" as he calls it. Well, I experienced this "passion" for the first time and I don't exactly like it...not sure what to do at this point.
2006-07-25 03:35:22 · 27 answers · asked by Jacinda 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I told him my concerns, and he told me that he would never throw anything at me. This was during a week vacation with him and this one of my only real memories from this trip...
2006-07-25 05:43:36 · update #1
Tell him you love him!!! but make it clear to him that you are afraid the next time he might harm you.Tell him that if he needs to take time out to calm down before talking to you then please do so. at anytime you see that he is getting to that balling point walk away and let him talk by himself.You don't always have to have in-put even when you know you are right.Men sometimes don't like to be told when they are in the wrong even when they know they are wrong as hell....it is their ego and pride.sometimes it good to just liston you be amazed of the things they tell on themselves.If you see any other signs that he may be violet maybe it is time to move on before it gets worst and he do you bodily harm.Hope this helps you !!!
2006-07-25 08:53:32 · answer #1 · answered by reree41 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He's your boyfriend now but maybe you are considering pursuing a long-term relationship with him? Nip it in the bud. Let him know that his behavior frightened you and that he needs to find a non-violent way to vent his anger. Let him know what you will do the next time he does something like that. And if/when he does, keep your word. Don't say you'll leave him if, when the time comes, you won't do that. But definitely take away a previlege. For example, if you were going to take a trip together somewhere special, call it off. Or if you were going to buy something nice for him, let him know he's not going to get it, and let him know why.
Practice talking about feelings with him. It's not against a man's nature to talk about the way he feels. Men are taught by society that they shouldn't do that. But, to borrow a phrase from Marvin Gaye "We're all sensitive people, with so much to give". He needs to be able to say, "I feel angry" rather than take it out on the dishes.
If you are genuinely considering eventually marrying this man and/or having children together, please definitely have relationship counseling.
2006-07-25 04:31:52 · answer #2 · answered by That Girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was with my daughters father for 12 yrs. he did that all the time. I some times would get into it with him but I found that it only made it worse. I had holes in walls all over my house.
my advice for you is to GET OUT of the relationship. I have been with a wonderful man now for 2 and a half years now and I still get nervous and scared when he just gets frustrated (which hes aloud to do, everyone gets a little upset sometimes) I get worried that he will throw things or.... well I don't know. all i know is that I'm still recovering from the "scared" that my EX put me through. Good Luck and please GET OUT NOW. you can't change anyone and no good can come from the relationship.
my EX never touched me either, just put fear in me by throwing everything in the house, and that is a kind of abuse too.
2006-07-25 03:46:53 · answer #3 · answered by NS42day 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not passion its abuse If he hits you. See this is how it starts they use items for passion than they work there way to pets than to you finally You get it and If you get a child with someone like that they do the passion thing on them to. I really wouldn't take it. Theres no since in acting like 4 year old and start throwing dishes everywhere because you dont get your way. See theirs something inside of him that is wrong in the mind. He needs some help If you choose to stay with him. Good Luck.
2006-07-25 03:45:11 · answer #4 · answered by girl176a1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He was probably really pissed for a reason.. dont do anything.. let him come to you.. and no dont break up with him because of this im sure he didnt mean to hurt u physically nor emotionally.. Its for sure not the best way to react by throwing things around the person u love but it was probably a bad time and as u said it was the first time he did this.. Hope its the last..Don worry.. Im sure he loves you .. if he doesnt apologise then start worrying but i think he will..
everything is gonna be like before don worry!
2006-07-25 03:42:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know what's up with the Italians. They always use this "passion" excuse. I have had 2 Italian boyfriends and both were bad tempered, moody jack asses. They are sorry and you forgive them but it really never gets any better. Move on and find a good tempered guy.
2006-07-25 06:00:01 · answer #6 · answered by cazzi_g 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
God, don't overreact! Are we talking took everything on the table and threw it, or a couple of plates? I have a bit of a temper myself, and have throw the occasional coffee mug at the floor when I get really frustrated. I would never hit anyone--I just wanted to break something. If he directed any of it at you, I'd say you have every reason to be concerned, and you should make it clear that you won't tolerate that kind of thing.
But, if he was having a really bad day, and he just wanted the release of throwing something, I can relate to that. One more thing--were these his dishes or yours? He shouldn't damage your property.
I have actually recommended to a friend that she buy old dishes at a garage sale just to get her frustrations out by breaking them. You'd be surprised how much it can help. But they are NOT to be throw as if they are a weapon. You just break them to get rid of tension.
PS: I'm Italian too.
2006-07-25 03:47:43 · answer #7 · answered by homebuyer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After he calmed down, I think I would tell him that his 'passion' is not acceptable behavior. What's the point of having anything if it is going to be destroyed in a moment of anger? (Even if it is only plastic dishes) Tell him if he cannot control his anger in a manner that is not destructive it may be time to move on. And stick to it. I wish you luck. This is not an easy decision.
2006-07-25 03:43:15 · answer #8 · answered by Decoy Duck 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thank your lucky stars they were not china and that one didn't hit u!! be very careful, this "passion" is in fact rage, and if he doesn't get help to control it, chances are it wont be long b4 this rage is being aimed at you. do u have children?,if so, the sooner you resolve this the better, i hope they wernt watching him terrorize there mommy! If u don't have kids then u have to ask yourself is this the type of person u want to plan a future with? if he loves u he will get help b4 it becomes a bigger problem than plastic plates. Good luck!
2006-07-25 03:53:00 · answer #9 · answered by loulou 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now this is what I would do if my boyfriend and I couldn't discuss what ever it is and have a good understanding and communication in our relationship I would end it. You dont have to stay and a abusive relationship that not healty and most of all it could turn for the worst some one good get hurt or may die. Communication is allways the key alone with trust. Get a way from him now.
2006-07-25 03:43:51 · answer #10 · answered by Mary D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋