he is 21 years old. one girl broke his heart. She had sex with his best mate RIGHT in front of him. He has never coped. he is my ex only because the thought of him drinking himself stupid all the time turned me off. I have moved on. But I will always keep in touch with him. He says he is now on his way out because of kidney failure and only has a year or two left. The time looks like its coming closer as he was coughing up blood on the weekend and the doctors at the hospital didnt know why. When you try and support him all he says is things like "easy come, easy go" or that he doesn't care. I hate what this girl has done to him. I just don't know what i can do to help him anymore - he won't seek help or see a councellor.
2006-07-25 02:20:53 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
He still calls this girl sometimes for sex. he says "she only f**cked up onced you know..."
2006-07-25 02:30:10 · update #1
Another thing is he was living in isolation for a while but lives with a buddy now. He may improve if his friends are around him. I do not know his family. I have known this guy since the beginning of the year (he is still a great friend though) and I do not know how to go about contacting his friends because I am under the impression he does not have many as he says he is very lonely. I met him through my best friend's sisters boyfriend (matt), and they have split so I dont know how to get in touch with matt.
2006-07-25 03:32:42 · update #2
try an intervention with his family and friends... you can force him into rehab. do it now while you can - before he gets any worse.
good luck.
2006-07-25 02:22:58 · answer #1 · answered by gummi bear 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
TIMESTAMP is a moron dont listen to him just because you smoke or drink dosent make you scum of the earth.Just goes to show the ignorance level of people in this country.If you really care about this friend dont turn your back on him when he needs you the most.You could try an intervention with his family and friends so he can see how much people care about him and his well being and that his life does matter.Try getting him to go to AA meetings and go with him to show your support.But the only way he will stop drinking is if thats what he wants to do.He has to have the strength to do this.He has to want to help himself before anyone else can help him.Good luck to you both and anyone else thats fighting an addiction
2006-07-25 09:31:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The girl helped but is not the problem. This guy sounds like he needs some serious help. I'm thinking that if he somehow managed to see his girlfriend having sex with his best friend right in front of him that alcohol is not his only problem. He obviously does not really think very much of himself. What happened to his parents? If they are around perhaps you could talk to them. Somebody really needs to intervene, he is only 21, there is a long way to go if he want's it and things will change.
2006-07-25 09:25:44 · answer #3 · answered by prinsin99 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most people do things to get attention, and he's probably trying to get attention from that girl... I have a friend that took a break up really hard, and he did get pretty bad, he would drink but not to the point of coughing up blood. He does need some type of help... if nothing else a reason to live. Life is tough, and he's just making it tougher, on himself and for others. He needs to be shown what he is doing, but first you need to get him off the booze.
2006-07-25 09:24:58 · answer #4 · answered by FallDownGoBoom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The saddest part in this, is that you cannot make him seek help. Seek rehabilitation from his family and friends. If you do not succeed there, and if you believe in a higher power, let go and let God. Anotherwords, pray for him, and let him go. You cannot carry his burden for him, nor can you heal him. You can care about him, and you can love him as a human being. But if it causes you pain to watch him slowly kill himself, you need to tell him so, and tell him you need to move on, and that you hope he will seek the help he so desperately needs. He is not dead yet. He still has hope left. His kidneys can be replaced by donor kidneys if one is available. He still has a chance. Tell him he should take it. And tell him, he cannot just die for a little while...death is permanent.
2006-07-25 09:25:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow sweetie I know the feeling my brother is on the same path he is 30 but hes been drinking like a fish for years I dont know what to do to make him stop I love him very much, I did find out that the best time to talk to him is when he is sober although that is very rare, try a family intervention... Good Luck
2006-07-25 09:27:40 · answer #6 · answered by KelLzZz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the only person who can help him is himself....right now he's in denial....unfortunately there are some alcoholics that never take the 1st step ( admitting they have a problem)....some have to hit rock bottom in order to see what is happening.All I can say is just be there for him....let him know that you care and if he ever wants to seek help you'll support him.I've been clean and sober for 5 years after being in and out of AA and rehab since I was 14 yrs old ( am now 38 )....it's a brutal disease .....
2006-07-25 09:26:16 · answer #7 · answered by echoedwhispers 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
An alchoholic is simply someone who cannot put alchohol in
thier body, because it creates a compulsion to drink to excess.
They screw us up more than we are with all the psychobabble.
The problems from alchohol, are after the fact of getting drunk.
Getting happy, blowing the rent money. Being too sick to work.
Not drinking won't keep someone from having problems. But not drinking will guarantee they have less problems.
2006-07-25 09:26:35 · answer #8 · answered by Tegghiaio Aldobrandi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is in a bad place...his addiction has replaced his common sense a long time ago and now will take his life from him...the betrayal just pushed him over the edge...but crazy behavior will create some pretty ridiculous situations..from his conditions I'd say he has more like 6mo. if he continues to soak his sorrows in liquor....all you can do is be a friend ...as hard as it is..be there if he needs someone to reason with...good luck..blessings.
2006-07-25 09:29:20 · answer #9 · answered by Goodspeed 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alcholics are looking for an out. He needs help. Find someone that can help him. Call a social worker and ask to get him commited. He will thank you later. But, remember he will be mad for a long time but, alive.
You could even talk to the girl and tell her to talk to him about why she was such an idiot to do such a thing to him. Also how it is ruining his life.
2006-07-25 09:26:14 · answer #10 · answered by enchantressa34 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The booze is the answer to his problems. Let the booze do its job. He will come out of it sooner or later. He is using to booze to create an effect and it is working for him. Just dont bug him about it and it will be ok. All alcolholics realize they are drinking too much and when others tell them that they drink too much they get pissed.
2006-07-25 09:24:48 · answer #11 · answered by !@#$ (formerly Ralph M) 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋