I have asked him to leave and am under the impression he won't leave me. How do I get him to leave?? I want him to realize how much he loves me and wants to be with me and he wont see that living in the same house. I have a baby and have no place to go to.
2006-07-25 02:17:42 · 12 answers · asked by fungirl 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He also refuses to go to counseling which I have asked many times for him to go to with me.
2006-07-25 02:18:20 · update #1
What a sad situation to be in. I'm sorry.
You can't force him to realize how much he loves you. He needs to do this on his own, and sadly, even then, he may not realize it until it's too late. While it's true that absence makes the heart grow fonder, if you and he split, chances are one or both of you might find someone who's more supportive to each of you respectively.
My best recommendation is to sit down with him together and communicate on a mature level. Rules in place that there is no arguing, and one speaks, then the other - without interruptions. Get back to the basics! You and he both fell in love with each other for a reason... FIND THOSE AGAIN! This can be done without counseling, but it does take work on both of your parts. If he's busy, then schedule it. Say on Thursday at 6:00? And set a time limit, and even offer a break after 45 minutes, because it may end up being emotional. Be upfront and honest with each other, and lay your differences out. Don't expect that he knows what's bothering you, at the same time, he shouldn't expect you to know what might be on his mind either?
Just relax, take a step back, and put your best effort into it, as I know you likely are already. But please don't do it for the baby's sake. As young as your child is, he or she still hears a lot more than you might think.
Good luck to you both!
2006-07-25 02:28:41 · answer #1 · answered by loving father 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So far all I am getting from this is what YOU want. Why do you want him to leave? I don't buy the "I want him to realize how much he loves me and wants to be with me and he wont see that living in the same house" garbage...what is the REAL reason you want him to leave?
2006-07-25 09:22:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well mayb he's just being in deanial about it so you have to play the role of the counselor and act as a good caring wife oh yea and dont pint out what he's done bad but like why you guys married I mean you didn't have to - so there has to be a rweason he wont leave and the child is the eviodence of the love in your relationship
2006-07-25 09:22:19 · answer #3 · answered by chameli/bebo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to stop as soon as he walks out that door you are gonna be a reck you dont want him to leave you you want him to respect you the thing is it sound s like since you had a baby is when you started realizing that he's taken you for granted you got him the way he his the only way you can feel that way is if you gave him a helping hand along the way if you want him to change you have to make him responsible for himself than the baby start by giving him things to do.
last night i had so many dishes to do , my husband came into the kitchen for a drink of water i TOLD him to start rinsing the dishes and drying them he looked at me very funny bur he helped you have to change your pattern cook dinner and go have a seat ASK him to fix plates it is in you you started it!
2006-07-25 09:33:26 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i kind of confused by your question..you cant make him realize how much he loves you and want to be with you... he has to come to that conclusion and realization on his own... what you can do is learn to set healthy boundaries so that when he takes you for granted and doesn't treat you right he will have consequences to face!
you are only taken for granted as long as you allow people to take you for granted. some of the things you thinks he takes for granted should be cut out for a while...once he sees that they are gone, this may get him to realize what he is missing...
2006-07-25 09:35:27 · answer #5 · answered by heresthedeal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he mistreated you many times and doesnt look that he can changed than its best that you leave. Go to a friends house for awhile or see help at your community house. No point hoping ... If he can change, of course , that would be great.
2006-07-25 09:28:54 · answer #6 · answered by MrMoon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should go to counseling yourself.
But before that, one question. Are you proactively doing all you reasonably can to keep him happy in the bedroom, even on those days where he doesn't do everything exactly the way you want him to?
2006-07-25 09:31:57 · answer #7 · answered by wmp55 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am on my secound marriage, I left my first husband do to emtional abuse and verbal abuse. I had no where to go at the time either, but a friend helped me find a shelter for woman, they helped me get a job, find houseing to met my income and ect. i would suggest for you to try this, and maby if your husband see's that ou aren't going to put up with his CRAP,,,,,,,,, he will change his ways,,,,, good luck to you and your baby
2006-07-25 09:27:06 · answer #8 · answered by crazy2have3kids 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he loves you so much.....what is he doing that makes you want him to leave?
2006-07-25 09:22:07 · answer #9 · answered by werk2much2000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Looks like you have gotten some good answers, pick one are make a deceison.
2006-07-25 10:36:34 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋