We've been together for about 8 years, I've lived with him for 7 of those years but have been feeling like I love him less since I was beaten up by him last year, I know that I want to leave him but I also know that if I do he'll either beat me again or use guilt to make me stay, Im not happy in this relationship but how do you tell someone who won't let you go and tells you constantly that he loves you. Please no sarcastic remarks as I have to do this or the person I know I am will wilt away and I may not have the strength to break free in the future.
2006-07-25 01:30:24 · 24 answers · asked by mummy 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I get beaten because he thinks that Im seeing someone else, Im not, but how can you reassure someone who constantly thinks that way. I have explained this to him.
2006-07-25 01:43:33 · update #1
Dont tell him just flee don't tell him where your going either just leave him a note get out before its to late.
2006-07-25 01:34:24 · answer #1 · answered by jemaple 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first off honey - you should have walked the second he layed a hand on you. If thats the love and respect he has for you then why are you worried about leaving him? If you are fearing for your safety have someone wait in the house while you tell him - or alternatively move your stuff out ofthe house when hes not there, then you can tell him over the phone if you're worried about his reaction. As for guilt - stuff him - he didnt care to much about you when he hit you so you owe him NOTHING.
You only get one life sweetheart - dont waste it on him. My advice to you is pack your bags and run out of this relationship. If he does harass you in any way call the police - let them deal with him. I understand 8 years is a long time to live with someone and im sure you have financial /emotional ties to this person but you have to be very strong and go. If you cant deal direct with him after the break up, enlist the aids of a solicitor.
Good luck
2006-07-25 01:40:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
do you have family of freinds that live out of the area? If so go and make arrangements to stay with them for a while. Dont let him know you are going just go and then after a few days phone him or write to him (probably better)and tell him its over. Let him know that your not happy anymore and that you want to be on your own. Do you get on well with any of his family members who are aware of what has happened? Once you've left I'd probably speak to one of them and just explain that you've left so that someone understands and can explain this to him if he gets out of hand. Hope everything turns out well...I wish you all the luck in the world. Just make sure you get away from him.
I would go to the police and take out an injuction on him too so that he cant be within a certain distance of you
2006-08-01 22:14:40 · answer #3 · answered by cazz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the others, DO NOT tell him in person, pack up and clear out living him a note. If you own the property together and have to deal with him do it through solicitors. Talk to a good friend or parent fand arrange for somewhere to stay first. leave now for the sake of your sanity I know what you mean abut wilting away it toko me 2 years to finally leave my ex partner and although he wasnt violent there was mental abuse and I felt as if he had chipped away at my personality and confidence so much that i didnt recognise myself. Now im confident and happy and alomsot back to me old self. Please do it now and don't look back. Good Luck xx
2006-07-25 01:39:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Best thing you can do is to go to your local women's crisis center. If you're unsure of where it is, call your local police or trooper's office and they'll tell you. Speak with an abuse counselor there and ask if they can provide you with a liason or police escort to remove your belongings from his premises. If there is room in the shelter, you can stay there and receive counseling (which you really need after being beaten) and they can offer you help in starting your life over with safety. You deserve to feel safe, always, and you deserve to have a happy life, with or without a man, and defintely without an abusive one.
2006-07-25 01:38:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
GET OUT! I lived in an abusive relationship for 16 years. I finally found the strength to get out of it and I have met my perfect partner, who by the way would never hit me. You will go through alot of changes once you see that you do not deserve to be abused, you are stronger than you think believe me!!!! There are alot of programs and help for abused women where I am from, check in your area and see if there are such things, they can be a real godsend in this time. Finally, remember, no one ever asks to be abused, it is not your fault, he has the problem and it will not go away on its own. Good luck, I will be praying for you!
2006-07-25 01:36:32 · answer #6 · answered by stacysally 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you dont love him anymore then you have to tell him and dont let him make you feel guilty,my bf of 6 years told me the same thing a month ago and although its hard because we have a son i know i will get over it,and i wouldnt want to be with someone who doesn`t love me so you shouldn`t be with someone you dont love either,just be strong and if you know its the right thing to do then go for it,lifes to short to have regrets in the future and i think your doing the right thing especially if he hits you,goodluck,xx
2006-07-26 10:36:20 · answer #7 · answered by onlyme 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG, you really should brake free from him, if he can beat you, thats no sign of love. in a relationship you must be happy, secure, comfortable, love and be loved. and surely you haven't got any of the above. you're scared of himm in a way, thats not healthy. you're unhappy, you deserve more than just happiness. if you think he's gonna use guilty remarks that means he's done it before, hasn't he? i'm sorry, but try to find a way of letting him know how you really feel now, cause you don't need it.
2006-07-25 01:38:33 · answer #8 · answered by tender-boy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not think you can deal with this alone. Go to a woman's refuge and get set up, then let him know you are leaving. Leave him a note - I know it is not nice but you have to protect your safety. You can get the number from social services or the police. Good luck, and I will be thinking of you.
2006-07-25 01:36:52 · answer #9 · answered by tinkerbell34 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he really loves you he wouldn't have beaten you.Unless there is something really serious you did which you are not telling us.But and a big but,if nothing serious went wrong to warrant him beating you,then tell him how you feel betrayed and miserable and would rather end the relationship.
2006-07-25 01:38:40 · answer #10 · answered by Bob Mukonka 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well just be honest but make sure you dont tell him you want another guy..Or that you dont love him anymore cause that would hurt..And think about if you really want 8 years to go down the drain...I mean why dont you love him is your relationship boring..Cause if so tell him what u wanna do to make it better..
But if you really dont love him just tell him..But if you leave him dont get jealous in the future if he is with another woman and he dosent want you anymore..Karma sweetie dont let it happen to u
2006-07-25 01:36:40 · answer #11 · answered by Lele12339 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋