My gf recently told me that she'd be traveling to California in the fall to see her friends, including her ex. She said she'd probably end up staying a night at his house while she was there. Its been on my mind the past week or so and she keeps saying its a trust issue. Is it unreasonable to be worried about something like this?
2006-07-25 01:18:46 · 23 answers · asked by Chuck 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
of course u be worried !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
don't she think she be worried if you came up with this idea your self???
the bad thing is that she already knows that she 'might' (which she defiantly will) spend the nite at his house !!!!!!
why don't she spend a nite at a gurl friend of hers???
it's okay if she go visit her friends, but hey, there's a limit for everything in life ... i think sleeping at an ex's is sorta disrespectful towards u ....
where is the love these days!!!!!!
2006-07-25 01:25:14 · answer #1 · answered by sue f 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is a trust issue, but no, it is not unreasonable for you to be bothered by it. And if the roles were reversed and you were staying at an ex-gf's house, I'm sure she'd feel the same. If she's visiting friends, why not stay at one of their homes or at a hotel or ANYWHERE else?
2006-07-25 01:24:51 · answer #2 · answered by Avid 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. It is not unreasonable. It is a well-known fact that if a man and a woman were sexually active and emotionally attached to each other in the past, it is quite possible for that bond to be rekindled if they are in close proximity to each other again. However, she may be testing her own limitations before she is certain she is completely ready to release this relationship once and for all. She may need your trust and confidence in her in order to stand up against the temptation - so if you can do it, give her that trust. I do not think it will be a good idea to hold off on making a committment to this lady much longer because the temptation to return to her ex may become overwhelming. Maybe she is doing that to encourage you to make your move now if you have one to make. Otherwise, she may have one of her own moves-back to her ex! I do not like the sound of that visit, personally.
2006-07-25 07:48:15 · answer #3 · answered by Jess4rsake 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, it's a trust issue--she doesn't sound too trustworthy, or considerate for that matter. Part of being in a relationship is being considerate of the other person's feelings. Staying at an ex's house is just toying with your natural human feelings of worry and jealousy.
If you acted like you did not care one little bit she might be offended, but she still shouldn't do it. She's only human too, and something could happen, she just won't admit it.
2006-07-25 01:24:57 · answer #4 · answered by annabellesilby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. Its not unreasonable at all. I hate it when I hear about couples where one person decides that making their partner uncomfortable is okay because they want to see an ex or keep a 'friendship' with them.
Why on earth does she need to stay at his house? There are no hotels in California?
I had a boyfriend once who insisted that him and his ex were jsut friends, that he couldnt stand her and what not. Turned out he had been dating her all along, in fact he was cheating on her with me, and i had no idea. In fact, we broke up for what i was told was a break while he got through the winter (he was a boarder), but he was really getting engaged.
I dont trust that we're just friends bull crap. Not for one minute, and i dont blame you at all for it either.
2006-07-25 01:24:16 · answer #5 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it is not unreasonable at all. It sounds as if your girlfriend is trying to make a cuckold out of you. Either that, or she is incredibly insensitive or just plain clueless (no offense). I would reconsider being with someone who didn't see that this sort of behavior was way out of line. What does she expect you to think about them spending the night together? Are you supposed to think they'll stay up watching old movies and eating popcorn? Give me a break!
2006-07-25 01:23:01 · answer #6 · answered by ♪ ♥ ♪ ♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
properly it is a tough one. often i ought to point you tag a lengthy like a mini vacation, yet because you'd be that far alongside you purely isn't able to fly. you say you'd be 8 months? purely the start or in the route of 9? no matter if that is interior of three weeks of the due date then i must be in contact, is he also staying for the marriage? one ingredient you should do is see how the being pregnant is going or perhaps as it receives in the route of the date ask the Dr. i'm particular you want him round for the start and if it feels like you may pass early then he might want to stay abode. If the Dr says you'll pass to time period then he might want to pass if he's a good pal to the guy. purely undergo in options from time to time men might want to be men, do not carry the leash too tight.
2016-10-15 04:38:41 · answer #7 · answered by curella 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not un- reasonable at all to be worried.
she is being honest with you though. if she really wanted to get away with something nasty she would probably have hidden the fact she was meeting up with him at all. they sound like friends.
couple of things though:
have a chat to her and tell her how you feel. maybe a compromise can be reached. maybe she catches up with him and spends some time with him....... but doesnt stay at his house. this bit is unnecessary and it wouldnt take anything away from her time with him if she didnt stay over and im guessing you would be alot less anxious.
dont be scared to stand up and say what you need and want. your not being an unreasonable partner....... your just being what you should be which is her boyfriend.
she sounds like she is being a good partner too by being honest.
you just need a chat about how to meet both of your needs.
best wishes to you.
2006-07-25 01:27:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing wrong to meet up with old friends including her ex. but to put up a night at his place is difinitely out of the question. Try to talk to her about how you felt. Let her know your concern and fear. Tell her you trust her but you do not her ex and you are not sure that you can trust him. Most important, tell her that you love her and is very concern about the arrangement.
2006-07-25 01:26:06 · answer #9 · answered by Lost Sheep 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would never do something like that sounds like your gf has no respect for your feelings, why dont you go and see your ex and see how your gf reacts then, I dont think she'd be very happy.
2006-07-25 01:21:23 · answer #10 · answered by Princess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Shes a dumb female.. I have been so faithful and loyal to my man and we are still having issues.. I wish I can find someone like you.. Really because my guy is overly jealous of stuff I dont even do.. You are a good man if you stay with her..And if you believe her.. Think about what she told you..Shes satying over his house.. God please stop giving all the good men away
2006-07-25 01:27:11 · answer #11 · answered by Lele12339 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋