Can someone explain what we hate most about others is what we deep inside hate about ourselves?

Question

No all things bother us, the things that do bother us, is it deep inside us, that our sub-consciousness is bringing these issues to the surface to make us realise these areas of our life needs attention? Can also explain why this is the case?

"Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves."
- Carl Jung

Answer 1

Pretty basic. Like love and hate are close. You can not hate that what does not affect you. You just would not care.

There is this some conditioning involved as well. You can be taught to hate. In that case you could consider it second generation hate.

When you hate, it is always your problem as it hinders you in living a happy life. That's the reason why anyone should do something about it and that takes us back to your statement. It needs attention because it will not go away by itself.

Answer 2

I did an exercise on this for my counselling class, we listed all the things we hated about other people and then realised those are SOME of the things we hate about ourselves. E.g i said i disliked this girl because she is lazy and deep down i am lazy but i wont admit it. Why? our mind is so powerful we can bury things that need attention, things we dont want to admit to ourselves but our logical brain knows this and knows if we deal with it we would feel better about ourselves. Our brain is trying to get us to work on it by bringing it up in anyway it can, usually by projecting it onto someone else.

Answer 3

If we all started to think and practice this way as given below then we may have taken a step closer in dealing with our own devils.
Have you ever felt like hitting or poking a pen into someone's eyes? because they have done something you really hated? Ok just before you actually take such action, just quickly find a quiet place and go ahead hit yourself (not even as hard as you felt doing to the other person), so tell us how did it feel? did it hurt? Ok, now think about how the other person would have felt had you actually gone ahead and hit them as hard as you really felt at that moment. I think we all need to practice self-control and try to see the goods even in the most vicious person. You will be the one in control of things you hate about others and yourself.

Answer 4

Carl Jung would suggest that we repress onto our "Shadow" self those qualities that we have but are not able to confront or acknowledge. Unconsciously, those qualities then get projected onto people and situations outside of us. We originally disliked those qualities enough to repress them, so of course we also dislike them when we see them in others. Thus the things that really bother us in the world are those qualities that we have but can't face up to.

Accordingly, when a person speaks out about gays, it is because they have latent homosexual thoughts or desires that they won't acknowlege and have repressed.

Answer 5

To feel a hate of things that you see in yourself does not really reflect the same things that you hate in other people. It might be that what you feel you hate in others is something that you would maybe prefer to have as a quality or feeling that you maybe lack. So what you feel you hate is something that secretly your conscious mind wants you to have but the feelings are interpreted as hate rather than maybe fear.

Answer 6

Saying there is a thin line between love & hate is nonsense,was Hitler close to loving the Jews?Is Bush close to loving Osama?Are christians close to loving the Devil?Love & hate are opposites,to think other-wise is just a load of stupid psycho-babble.

Answer 7

I often make this mistake of judging others by their actions and deeds, while i judge miself only with what i think. Others cannot read my mind or thoughts, but see only my actions and deeds. Similarly i also can judge them by their actions and deeds while i in my inner self am conscious of my thoughts also. These are the negativities and the 'devil' in me that others cannot see, but i see in myself. This is the reason why we (read:me) hate most about others ---its their actions and deeds. These are not all the good things that they tend to do to us (read: me) but all the irritating stuff. I think its got to do more than our (read: me) mind-set and the thought-process.

Answer 8

there's a very thing line between love and hate so saying that you hate something might not actually be the case all the time

Answer 9

This is the basis of the idea of projection. You see something deep within yourself that you don't like, and so you repress that feeling. You don't acknowledge it within yourself. Instead, you project it onto someone else that shows those same characteristics. Suddenly, you find yourself loathing that person because deep within your mind, that person is like you in those ways.

The ability to recognize projection as it is happening is what enables the repressive person to bring forth their undesireable traits and to try to change them. Some, unable to change those traits, often wind up in a spiral of hatred and loathing geared towards all of society.

For example, take a look at those who we classify as homophobics. They hate homosexual people. If they find one, they generally act out in rage towards this person. Often, homosexual hate crimes are committed out of this hatred and rage. In time, it was found that most homophobics were indeed homosexual themselves but had repressed that desire deep down within them due to the fear of an unaccepting society, peer group and family.

I once had a neighbor that hated anything and everyone. He hated gay people, he hated neatfreaks, he hate sobs, he hated anything, anyone, and everyone. But when it came down to it, he hated himself the most. And since people are unable to express this self hatred and self loathing in a healthy manner, he projected it onto anyone and everyone else. It's a form of self protection as well as self actualization.

Answer 10

I think that depends on what it is that one hates about the other person, if it`s looks, the answer is no. if it`s about a lustful or boisterous person could be true.