I am a white male involved in a serious relationship with an Indian Punjabi woman. While we get along real well, and things are heading toward that point of marriage, her father refuses to have anything to do with me for my skin color and for my economic status (I am a 21 year old student who works as a Notary Public). I love her alot and she loves me with all her heart, but the problem is her father. Any advice or answers?
2006-07-24 23:05:49 · 11 answers · asked by Alexander 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Other - Cultures & Groups
It is your and her's life, the father should be understanding and supportive about it. You are not marrying the father, so it really is his problem. If you love the woman, and she loves you, go for it, and don't even care what his opinion is. Of course, it would be better if he approved, bit since he doesn't, forget him.
John
2006-07-24 23:09:18 · answer #1 · answered by Scorpion 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a good job.
Your skin color, you can't change that.
But your financial status, you can change.
You're only 21 for goodness sake, early marriages don't have very good ending. If you get married and the marriage fails, her whole family might hate you.
Learn her culture and be honest and modest about yourself. Give yourselves time, you two might not be the "Right" couple after some time. Be sure.
If what you feel is real and you really want to marry this girl, then you should try hard to improve your financial state. Any parent won't be too happy letting their daughter marry someone who isn't very stable.
2006-07-25 02:18:14 · answer #2 · answered by longtailedmonkey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Indian parents are very protective; an indian wife means u will be marrying the whole family. Wade in, get a renumerative job & approach both the parents repeatedly.
2006-07-25 01:36:16 · answer #3 · answered by nick 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may have to be the bigger person and show respect to her father and their customs first. Ultimately it is her life that will change the most, so it is her who will make the most important decisions. Your 21, (is she younger?) Do you know what direction your own life will go? You have to consider all the above. Be the bigger person and show respect to the family. Either way, you'll both be the better for it.
2006-07-25 01:22:08 · answer #4 · answered by Rick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough one becaue you are going to have to ask her to choose between her family and her lover. There really is no other way round it. Her father is a racist, pure and simple. At the end of the day it's her life and only she can live it, so she has to decide if she wants to live in the shadow of her father's bigotry or carve out her own life, without him.
2006-07-24 23:11:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
is she even available for marriage? does her family have intentions to arrange her?
i understand that it must be so difficult to feel like you are not good enough because of your ethnicity and status. do you want to spend the rest of your life trying to prove yourself to this family? if you go through problems (like every normal couple does) are you ready to have the family shaking their head- saying i told you so... if the support is not there- it is a horrible way to start building a life together.
i was involved in a similar situation with an indian hindi man. i am filipino, educated (with multiple graduate degrees) and very family oriented and was led to believe that this man was not going to be arranged- after two years of being together, his parents started to 'worry' that they would not be able to arrange their son's marriage- and started to vocalize their concern. we eventually broke up- after my father sat us down and kindly and simply stated- if you do not have a future together, then stop hurting each other.
i now have a wonderful man in my life- he is italian and we both come from similar backgrounds- both our families approve. it makes for a better relationship since family is very important for both of us.... when we have problems there are not outside pressures...
if you do not have a future together, if her family is going to make it impossible... it might be time to move on...
good luck....
2006-07-24 23:31:12 · answer #6 · answered by islagirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first try to convince her father the best possible way you can and if you are not succesful run away with her and get married
2006-07-24 23:10:13 · answer #7 · answered by confused 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
depends on the woman and also on how much your willing to compromise
2006-07-25 00:59:18 · answer #8 · answered by Raymond 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is no way out,..run away and get married...punjabis are freaky
2006-07-24 23:07:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
id leave her if i were you 2 much trouble
2006-07-24 23:07:36 · answer #10 · answered by bazza1873 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋