if you are extremely intoxicated at the time but give consent is it rape?

Question

if you go to a party with your boyfriend and get extremely drunk for the first time, then give consent to sex, is it rape. please take into consideration that this person who got drunk is 16 (and was a virgin at the time) while the boyfriend is 18. she doesnt remember the actually act of sex but she remembers him asking a question (she was too drunk to remember what the question was at the time) she said yes. she remembers speaking with her boyfriend after sex and is not sure if he used any form of protection. he was nice about taking her home as far as she can remember she isnt sure what to think about this situation and im not sure what i should tell her as a conserned family member.

thanks for all your answers.
she went to a party and they had alchohol there she had one beer ( she has never really drank before) then they kept asking her if she had tried other drinks( bad decision on her part she took what they offered)
im afraid that it could have been other boys too because she was the only girl at this party. but i dont think that the case, i hope.
her mother doesnt know because she snuck out of the house. the boyfriend called her at 12pm and told her to sneak out and she did (i know she made a lot of bad decisions that night but she has never done anything like that before)
he has drunk before, and is sexually experienced, how drunk was he if he had time to think about asking her?
i dont think she has even thought about it being rape, she just doesnt know what to think, im not sure what to tell her. (i dont think i want to mention rape if she doesnt. i dont want to see her go through that) i just dont know what to tell her about how she should feel.

Answer 1

yes it is a level of rape... sexual assualt if the male knew you were extremely intoxicated.

Answer 2

First things first, have her checked out for bruising and abraisions. If she was not forceably molested then she wil be without such marks.

Second, have her checked out for pregancy. You can do these without a doctor if you wish. If you use a doctor she will be rape kitted and that can be disturbing to her.

Third, it is rape in every state for an eighteen year old boy to have sex with a sixteen year old girl without being married first. It is statutory rape but rape none the less. And marrying the girl after the offence does not nullify the offence. She could press charges.

Fourth, whoever gave her the alcohol is also criminally liable for the offence. Providing the alcohol that lead to her losing her virginity is aiding and abetting in the commision of a felony.If it turns out to be the eighteen year old boy then he has another charge to face further demonstrating his intent to break the law that day.

Fifth, get the girl tested for STDs. It is doubtful that she has contracted any but you never know. Everyone is claiming ignorence which I find less than credible so there is a possibility that anyone at that party could have had sex with the girl, and that will be a defense the othe side will use if this goes to trial. They will also say she wanted to have sex and that she wanted to get drunk. In short they will paint her as an ignorant little whore. It will not be pretty.

Sixth, and most importantly tell her you love her and that this is a part of her life she will have to come to terms with in time. It will not be long before everybody who is interested will know the truth of her virginity. Word travels fast when their is little else to talk about. She will need your love and support no matter what happens next.

And seventh, get her some professional help. She will need a person to talk to that has no axe to grind. Rape, perceived or otherwise, is a poison in her mind right now and it is helpful to have someone to talk to who isn't there to judge you but rather to listen to you as you work things out for yourself.

I know this was a lot to read and take in but yours was a serious question that has serious implications and concrete steps to dealing with those implications. Good Luck.

Answer 3

Its a matter of persective. Whether or not it was rape depends on her perception of the event. If she perceives it positively, then you're off the hook. If she perceives it negatively, then she does have legal recourse. Legally, consent is not something offered once, but something that is offered continually and can be withdrawn at any time. If a girl gives you the ok to sleep with her, and during the act tells you to stop...you must stop. If you don't, its rape.

An accompanying legal principle recongized in most states is the ABILITY to offer consent. If you're so blitzed out of your goard on liquor that you can't remember anything, let alone agree to anything, then you lack the ability to offer consent. Accompanied by the aforementioned legal principle of continuous consent, where she must not only says yes but must *keep* saying yes....she could rightfully argue that being drunk robbed her of her right to say no during the sex act...as she lacked the capacity to make any choices at all.

Recognize that this particular legal standard really only goes one way; male to female. If a man and women get equally drunk and end of up having sex, rape is defined by female perception of the act...and her perception alone. One sex is the rapist, the other the rapee...despite the fact that both were too blitzed to legally make choices. Legally, intoxication does not eliminate culpability for criminal acts....and at the same time, intoxication does rob you of the ability to choose and thus offer consent. Interesting quirk of our legal system, that.

Answer 4

To be honest i feel the best thing is simply to listen to her. And support her. If she feels that she had been rape and want to take actions, it is best to get the parents in at that point. In my country having sex with a minor is illegal, and regardless of consent the person will still be prececuted.

Just understand that the process is long, and uncomfortable for all the family. She will need the support of the family inorder to make it through.

If she is open to advice. Tell her not to drink, thinking back drinking have gotten me in to much trouble. And for many i know drinking was the lead in to other more potent substance. I however lack the ability to convince younger people to stay out of drinking.

And this boy friend of hers... i have to say that he have no respect for her. No matter how one thinks, i do feel that at only 18 and 16 ... they are too young to consider a serious relationship.

In the end i guess all anyone can do is respect the girl, listen to her, talk to her just be there. No need to give advice as she might have a different value and beliefs. If she feels that this is serious and regrets it. Simply tell her to start a new, never be alone with this boy again (men will come back for more... haha... :( ) Never drink again, unless she is with friends or family that she can trust.

Get her to talk to people with experience handling these cases. The school councilor for example, or if she have a religion... there must be someone who both you and her can trust that can give a more proper advice. We as strangers can only say so much.

I pray that the boy is a decent person, and is not causing more trouble for her in school. Get assistance from school councilor or when things get serious police... if nessary.

Answer 5

Ok,

If a court finds that the girl was too drunk to give consent and that the boyfriend did not care if she consented or not (i.e was inadvertantly reckless to her consent) then he would be guilty of sexual assault. The court will not consider whether she was a virgin or not, nor would the age matter as she is over the age which consent can be accepted (16). However if she expressly said YES then it would make it a hard allegation to prove. Another issue here is whether, once intercourse had begun, she did not consent to its continuation.


Just a note, i live in australia and the provisions in america might be different... but im told we have similar laws in the area of sexual assault

Answer 6

If you said yes..than it's not rape. However, there's different ways to look at the situation. Especially in dealing with the Law. If you were so intoxicated that you cant remember anything..isn't it possible that you said No , just as quickly as you said yes? There are law motions that claim a person was not in their right mind and therefore could not speak with their own judgement..or the person's judgement was impaired, illegally, and there arises other charges..rape and the 'yes and no' is just the tip of a legal case.

Answer 7

LORD Z was wong when they said:

"Third, it is rape in every state for an eighteen year old boy to have sex with a sixteen year old girl without being married first. It is statutory rape but rape none the less."

Every state has their own laws about the age of sexual consent. In some states it is 16, in which case it would not be statutory rape.

Answer 8

Gotta go with John142 on this one if she was drunk and don't remember it, leave it alone unless she's pregnant or contracted a disease, there are clinics, I think talking about anything, the interrogation of the police isn't going to do anything but put her thru hell my cousin got raped a few months ago, she was put thru the ringer by two male officers, like the rape wasn't bad enough! I just don't trust MO cops enough to come clean with some thing like that, even though she is a minor and it is illegal to a point, don't put her thru anything else.

Answer 9

I don't think this would qualify as rape.
You can argue that she had diminished capacity to consent while drunk, but if the boyfriend was drunk also, then he too had diminished capacity to interpret what happened.
I cannot see this case going anywhere.

By the way, where did this virgin 16 year old get the booze?

Answer 10

No, it is not felony rape, but it may qualify as statutory rape. Also, there are various levels of sexual misconduct laws that apply differently according to the State in which one lives. Undoubtedly, this kind of "uninformed consent" falls under the prohibition of at least one provision of sexual misconduct laws.

Ultimately, it is up to her whether to press charges. Even though she is a minor, it is only extraordinary cases where a judge will grant parents the standing to press charges against her wishes. I would go to your State's .gov web site and match up the details of her case with the appropriate laws.

Answer 11

She just learned 3 hard lessons... he might learn one.

it is not rape if you consent, but is statutory rape if the age of majority in your area gives you that protection.

don't get drunk with people who will take advantage of you.

that guy is not the right boyfriend.

An 18 year old guy is easy for your father to beat the crap out of if he comes around again ...