Why do I say mean and hurtful things to friends and family?

Question

Since I can remember I've always been the bully in school and now as an adult I say mean and hurtful things to my family and friends. I don't know why I do this but its become such a habit that I've hurt a very good friend of mine and I feel absolutely horrible about it. I've noticed awhile back this was happening I did it to my soon to be ex husband and now my good friend and I don't know why I do it. I mean I loved/love these people but yet I say this to them why? Why do I do it to the people I care the most about? Maybe no one can answer this but me maybe there is no answer but I just thought I'd throw this insight into here.

I had a great childhood until I turned 16. I know I hold in my rage a lot I used to get physically violent but I've stopped that, I hold it in or I yell/scream/growl now in place of it. I have apologized to my good friend that I've hurt, sad thing I never even noticed I was saying these hurtful things in a chat room. He tells me that I've "ripped him apart" I'm in love with this man and I can't believe that I've hurt him this bad and never ever noticed I did this, thats what scares me. Him and I are/were close and I'm in total agony over hurting him. He's been helping me a lot with myself and he once told me, "I want to help you find you're way home." I cried myself to sleep lastnight and still can't believe I've hurt him this badly. Thanks everyone for you're responses, they've all helped me in their own way.

Answer 1

The self defense mechanism of yours works as offence is the best form of defence. Hence find out what you fear for and what you want to defend? The key to overcome this habit lies there.
VR

Answer 2

the fact that you have asked this question is a step in the right direction. It seems you lose self-control easily and say things you don't really mean to say and later regret it.

Try the maxim.. 10 thoughts to word...or think twice before you say anything...Meditate, it really helps to bring out our positive self. Apologise in your heart to the people whose feelings you have hurt. Later you may gather the courage to do so in front of them.

All of us have a good self and a bad self, just determine to use more of your good self than the bad one. I hope this helps. All the best!! and hugs!!

Answer 3

this probably sounds kind of corny but, did you have a fu*ked up childhood? Ive always been the same way. but i have started to notice that i am learning from it and growing out of it. i am 18 years old so i think its about time too. its just something that you need to work on yourself. keep to it, and you will see progress. if you care enough to notice and feel badly about it , your not a bad person. dont think you are. good luck ok.

Answer 4

It sounds like you are depressed, and having problems with mood swings. Get checked out by a psychiatrist. I know the syntoms all too well. It is out of your control, so seek help. There is no shame in seeking.

Answer 5

i dont be attentive to of anybody interior the medical institution good now yet im no longer afraid to circulate see them, i merely dont have a motor vehicle so transportation may well be a topic, i cant locate the money for to unlike being in hospitals, ive had to be there myself a number of cases reason for surgical procedures, and it quite ticked me off no longer getting travellers because of the fact of people no longer liking hospitals, at one in all them the only customer i ever had while i exchange into getting my 2 hip surgical procedures exchange into surely a medical care canines, if it wasnt for him i wouldnt have had any travellers

Answer 6

maybe because your afraid to get very close to anyone