How do i get my boy.f to do some house work??

Question

He works to support me and my son, who isnt his, and i am utterly greatful but he doesnt help me one bit at home! i know i shouldnt moan but i feel like his mum, i cook, i clean, i do everything for him, he huffs and puffs if theres not a ironed shirt for him in the morning, and sulks about it. I asked him to put the bins out last night and he said hed do them as he left for work....what have i just done...yeah the bins, he walked straight past them...help!

my child is three, a bit young to be getting a job, he chose to support us, i never asked, i do work yes, i look after our son and the house, but all mums know that toddlers need constant entertaining when they dont have siblings. I think he is a saint for doing what he does, but i don't see why i should be his slave. He throws his socks on the front room floor and theyd stay there forever if i didnt pick them up, dirty boxers all over the bedroom yet the wash baskets in the corner, i have said stuff and he does it for 1 day then back to normal, im his partener not his mother

As for sex, he neevr wants it so cant take that away!!!

Answer 1

Ask real nice...in that special way.

Answer 2

Dont take it personally i have this conversation many times with my friends, its annoying but i think they just dont see mess or chores that need doing. My husband isnt too bad but theres room for improvement!! Do you give in and do these jobs when he doesnt because you know it wont get done or you start feeling guilty because he is supporting you? You are supporting him just the same by running the home and the childcare and working too. Give him some responsibilities, e.g the bins and hoovering and if he doesnt do it then dont cook his meals or iron his shirts, why should you do your share if he wont do his? Stop being a doormat and feeling guilty because he is raising a child he didnt father, if he didnt want to be with you and your son he wouldnt be and you deserve some respect. This man needs to realise you are not his mother, have a talk with him but not an argument, go through some ground rules tell him if he helps more round the home then you will have more time and energy for him. Good luck with this xx

Answer 3

If you feel like you are doing too much for him, don't do it. He lives in the house too, you need to share the responsibility for keeping it clean. Tell him that you are very unhappy about this and you don't think it's fair to expect you to do all the housework.

Then comes the hard part. You need to stop doing all the housework. For example, if he leaves his socks on the floor, that's where they stay. Soon he will realise that he has no clean socks because they are all in a pile on the living room floor. If he doesn't bother to do the dishes, just wash your own pots and leave his in the sink. Soon he will have nothing to eat off. Don't clean and iron his shirts. Soon he will realise that if he doens't iron his shirt, he will have to go to work in a creased shirt.

You are doing him no favours by running around after him. In fact, you are taking away his independence. Let him sulk. As you don't have sex anyway, you have nothing to lose.

Answer 4

The only way I can get my b/f to help me is by saying to him "Right, there is the washing up to do, or the hoovering, which job do you want?" and give him the choice of what he wants to do. I once refused to pick up his clothes, just to see how long it would be before he gave in and picked them up himself, I cracked after 8 days. Don't nag him, just tell him that you cannot do everything yourself,and that he is going to need to help you or he cannot expect a clean/ironed shirt for him, if you have to waste time doing all the jobs you won't be able to find time to do the ironing as well!!

Answer 5

It sounds like you both are carrying your load. He probly feels since your not married he don't have to do any thing. But like take out the garbage that would really help there. How old is your son. Maybe he thinks your son should. do it. Unless he's little. But he should respect you weather or not you do those things. Is there some way you can support you and your son. Tell him if he don't want you both there or help some that you are leaving. Your not his maid. Don't back downm . Good Luck

Answer 6

If he's supporting you and YOUR kid and you're whining about house chores, then you need to get a better job then him, earn more money than him, and support your own child better than him, THEN and ONLY THEN should you be posting this question online. Either that, or get your kid to do some work around the place too and pick up the slack.

Answer 7

just make out you are having some sort of break down from doing all the housework! Then tell him "Look honey, it is all getting too much for me, i can't cope anymore! I understand and admire you for what your doing, but if you could just help out a bit more at home i would appreciate it a lot"

Answer 8

Tell him that you can't afford the time to have sex with him because you've got so many chores to do. And that if you had some help, then you'd be glad to.

He'd cave eventually.

Answer 9

ask yourself why am i in this relationship,is it for your son or you.if you really love him the house work .wouldnt bother you as much as it seems to.make a list of the good things and bad about your life.maybe he isnt worth trying to change.

Answer 10

tell him straight , you need help and your not asking for the earth but for his thoughtfulness when it comes to little things .
start small , and get bigger . tell him your not his bloody mother your his girlfriend and you soon wont be if he doesn't buck up a little !

Answer 11

i know what u are feeling one diff is i work and take care of house and kids and get nothing in return i would say get a job and tell him its his turn for the house work .