Why does my hubby flirt when he knows I hate it? Why cannot I help feeeling let down?

Question

I have seen him looking at some females i a particular way and that hurts me cos I stay loyal to him. He has told me not to look at people and I have complied..why does he do this? I get so hurt even being married to him for years. I told him particularly things of this nature hurts me but he is heed less Why?

Answer 1

First of all, what's fair for the goose is fair for the gander, point taken meaning that if he is allowed to look at other women, you should be allowed to look at other men. My ex did this to me and tried to control where i went, what money i spent, i had to spend my time out in public with him with my head hung downward because he would jump me in public if he thought i was staring at a man even though i would be looking around at other stuff. I hated that.

If after all these years that you have stayed loyal and told him that his behaviour hurts you and he still does it, then i feel that there is only two options. one, you could try giving him a dose of his own medicine by doing the same thing......even if you don't mean anything by your "looking" at other guys, he would get the hint that it doesnt feel good when you do what he does and it might make him wake up and realize what he is doing.....or you could try and take him to counceling which is what i did and neither worked. You could just try this and see what happens.

Either way, it's extremley unfair of him to make you hurt like this and it's damaging to your self-esteem as well, many more years of this and you probably will bottom out. I would at the very least try something. There is no use being in a relationship that you have nothing but hurt all the time. it does so much damage over time and it's really not worth it.

i wish you the best of luck. hey email me if you need more support at [e-mail]

Answer 2

The pastures always seem greener on the other side. This is the very reason why they get attacted like a dogs wagging tongue on seeing a bone.You can ask him to behave himself when in your company, atleast to start with, stating it hurts your image and self esteem in front of others. Gradually you can make him realise what the opp. person might think of this immatured behaviour of his.Pamper him and woo him to behave in such a manner that the women start looking at him.You'll have to handle this diplomatically , not hurting his ego any time coz by arguing things might go worst and you'll distance your own self from him.Patience and diplomatic right tracking is the only way out.Avoid mentioning about this hence forth and work on a way out.

Answer 3

Sounds like he doesn't want you, But doesn't want anybody else to have you.
I don't know what you've done to him, But it must have been, or it must still be,
"Damn good ".
The object is to make you feel unwanted and
not needed, Which leads to feeling's of insecurity.
Then you'll feel as though He's the only one who will except you, until a man such as myself
acompanies you.
Then he want's to know what the hell is going on.
That's when you tell him not to worry about it, Just keep-on doing that thing that you do(flirting).
It does't matter who you flirt with, because he's gonna think that you're being spiteful, But if someone flirt's with you, It reveals that someone want's you too, And he ain't ready for that.
So don't let him PLAY ON YOU baby.
YOU PLAY WITH HIM.
Stay ahead of the game, you'll last longer.+

Answer 4

You cannot stay with people who do not make you happy, and you have no right to change them to suit your needs. If you don't like how he makes you feel, leave. Guys look, most all flirt (even a little) it's harmless. You made the decision to not look at guys by your own will. Did you do this with the condition that he conformed to your needs? You cannot use your decision as leverage to force him not to look. Yeah, it sucks but this is the real world. Bottom line: Love him the way he is without complaining or leave.

Answer 5

XXXXXXXXXX Hubby has no regards for your feelings and no respect for his marriage. If I were the woman he was flirting with, not only would I question his morals but I'd also question yours for putting up with this. Apparently just telling him how you feel is not working. I don't think he's taking you or your feelings seriously. I think it's time to heed a seperation. This is the only way he'll know you're serious. Hubbys player days were over when he said, "I do." Unfortunately his hormones hasn't caught up with his vows. Wifey needs to wake up before hubby has someone else in his bed. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Answer 6

I am going to be real here. You let him get away with it and so he does it. He doesn't see the need to stop. Now men will look at women as you should be looking at men. It is part of being human, he cannot make you stop looking at someone unless he is controlling and abusive.

He doesn't want to stop doing it because he doesn't respect your opinion about it. You feel let down because you give him power to let you down. Honestly, my husband looks at women and I don't care. I look at men and make comments. Some women feel more strongly about this and some are insecure.

The other thing is that his flirting in front of you in also a sign of disrespect. Deal with this man...find your feminine powers and handle his macho behind.

K

Answer 7

Men think that flirting is innocent so therefore when we are hurt by them checking some other girl out they dont care.....if he wont let you look at other people then why the hell can he? until something comes of him checking these girls out then i would quit feeling let down.....there is a fine line between looking and touching!!! I hope this gets better for you!!!!

Answer 8

You might give him an ultimatum to stop and leave him if this rude and disrepectful behavior continues. Either that or forgive him and accept the behavior as something he does but cannot stop. You either have to let it go..Completely... or you leave if he doesnt stop.
He probably did this before you were married and you either thought it was cute, or you thought he would change. You rolled the dice and he did not change. So live with it and do not let it bother you as long as he is faithful. If you consider it unfaithfulness, than leave him.

Answer 9

He is unsecure and want to prove to himself that he is a male. If, he knows that bothers you and he still doing is because he wants hurts you. From now on tell him,,,,flirt as you were free...next time I see you doing that...I will help you get close to the woman you are flirting and embarass you. Embarass him without affecting another person will make him fell miserable.

Answer 10

Gal try giving him the same dosage he gives you. Deep down he knows there is no way on earth you will flirt with other men and that why he does it. You talked to him he can change, then use the hard way to make him change, Flirt with other men too.