married people 25 & over only, please.?

Question

(BTW:I needed serious answers that y i said 25 & over)
Im in a situation thats starting 2 get serious. My husband has been in the army for 6 years & when i met him, he was in the reserves. On our first date, i told him i dont like when guys r in the army cause itll make me nervous. Not yet knowing that he was. he decided 2 tell me 3 months later. Then when it was time for him to re up, the war in Iraq came about. I told him i was too nervous for him if he stayed in the reserves, but id stick with him. So he decided NOT to. Now, he wants to go in the national guards. I dont want him 2. We decided 4 some time that i would be pregnant by september. I am just too nervous for him. I dont like that kind of stuff because, naturally,it scares me. People say im being stubborn. thats not it at all. Im a worried wife. But he really wants 2 go. ONLY because he says itll pay for his school. Im too scared. I know he'll balame me if we dont succeed in life because of no college. Am i being unfair?

He cant get financil aid.

SHARPSHHOTER: I AM NOT SELFISH DUMB ***. HOW IS WORRYING ABOUT YOUR HUSBAND SELFISH?? I SAID 25 & OVER. NOT 15 & YOUNGER.

Answer 1

Absolutely not are you being unfair! Would he like it if you had a job that was away from him and involved risking your life every day. I admire him for dedicating himself to help our country, but his committment is with you. You may have to propose the ultimatum, its me or the guard. Let him know that when you married him, it was to start a life with him and that you didn't sign up for this.
Best of luck!

Answer 2

I am a 36yr, I would be nervous too. There are other ways to pay school postpone the pregnancy it is hard enough to raise a child. What makes him think he is superman, he needs to priority fatherhood wife family should be something that should concern him. You are not being stubborn you are looking out not only for your mental well-being but for a child that can do without this loss. Regardless what he may think this is no longer his life alone he has you and your future family to be concerned of. I believe you should start thinking of your future & what you want to give your future children. Nothing is guaranteed in life, but there are many precautions we can do to avoid an untimely death. You have to ask yourself will you be able to cope if he should die and you are left with a child or several on your own? Will you have the strength they will need from you? You are right there will be a time he may resent you for making him choose. Let him decide but You then decide if you will accept this or not. Dont life your life fearing the next days news.

Answer 3

XXXXXXXXXXX you are being unfair, selfish and self centered. You want the truth, here it is, 25 and over, Well, I'm 46 so I qualify. My husband have been in the Army for 8 years. He has gone to Korea, Bosnia, Afghanistan and Iraq for a year on each of those deployments. He's in the military because this is his calling and I would never do anything to stop him from being the best he can be. Of course I worry like hell when he is away. Especially on his deployment to Iraq, I was plenty scared. I was angry at him for volunteering for this duty station but soon got over it because I know he is doing what is in his heart. even though he is Canadian, he wishes to fight for his new country. Now, lets talk about being pregnant. I was pregnant each time he was deployed. Fortunately they let him come home for the births of all our children. I was scared for him and for myself being alone and pregnant but I knew he was doing the right thing for his family and for his honor. Do you know that rather he goes to Timbuktu or a drive around the block , if it's his time, it's his time.
The military is a great place to get an education, a great place to
raise a family and the help and support you get is unmeasurable. I live on a military base and have been for the past 8 years from North Carolina to California. I wouldn't live anyplace else in the civilian world. Not only does my husband get a quality education, so does my kids. If they wanted to walk to the Commissary (market) a half mile away I'd let them and they are only 9 and 12. An Army base is the safest place to be. Every post has a hospital that care for all your needs when you are having a baby and all the way till they graduate from high school if your are a part of the military community that long. They have quality daycare, places yyou can send your kids and you are 100% sure they won't get abused or neglected. And if they are, hell breaks loose. I can go on and on about the pros of being military but I think you get the jist of my reasoning. I think it is unfair for you to keep you husband from doing what he was bread to do. He's tried different ways to wear that uniform and you cut him off. You will regret your decision in a long run and in a long run, he will resent you. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Answer 4

I like how you say only people over 25 answer, is it because people under 25 cannot be mature enough to answer this question? I can completely understand what you are going through and it is totally and 100% natural for you to be scared for your husband. Talk about the options and think about getting him student loans for college instead. But if he still persists, you either need to be an understanding wife and support him being in the military, or dont get pregnant with his baby until he is done!

Answer 5

You're being a worried wife, that's what you're doing. My husband wanted to do the same thing when we got married. Somehow I talked him out of it, so he decided to something a little safer and closer to home.

If going into the army will pay for his schooling so you can get pregnant when he comes home (or before he leaves), and the quality of your life will be better if he goes, then let him go. It will break your heart into nine trillion pieces, and you'll be counting the days (and the pieces) until he's back in your arms, but until then, keep yourself busy. I should have let my husband go, but I was young and selfish and didn't want to share him with the Government. Keep busy and you'll be alright.

Answer 6

It sounds like you knew before you married him he had military ties. I can also understand your anxiety over it. If you love him you will support him, down the road he could end up resenting you if you beg him not to. You really need to sit down and be fair and hear each other out I mean say what is really on both your minds and weigh out the pros and cons.You have to have a open mind and be fair. Think if it was you in a situation and he refused to go along with it and the animosity you would start to harbor. I have been there my situation was a little different my husband was a contractor that worked all over the united states and I would go months without seeing him. Just 2 yrs ago he came off the road and now we are happy and stronger then we have ever been. He knew it killed me for him to be gone but it was just as hard if not harder on him. We were able to bank alto of money and get our first home and things that were important for him to have for our family. For us it worked out but we were honest with each other and I stood behind him and supported him. There are times I would cry for days but I got through it. I wish you the best but you have to look for whats best down the road not here and now and that is hard to do. This is something that is going to affect your life dramatically. I really wish you the best .

Answer 7

You are very selfish woman. I just got back from Afghanistan where things are not as good as some people think and seen a lot. Do not hold him back from doing his duty as he wants for his country and the benefits are good. Sure he can get hurt, but he can also get hurt in an auto accident. Anyway, if you hold him back and he does not do what he want to do for himself and his future which will include you. Then someday he will blame you. Support your man and support our troops. Oh by the way, the insurance in case the unfortunate happens can be up to 400K. Just pray nothing happens to him. The money is not the issue but he does need your support.

Answer 8

Depends on what he does in the Army how risky a postion he would actully be in . The service even the reserves does have great schooling options. Reserves are not near as dangerous i say relax as long as he isn't on the front line's and let him get his school paid for i signed my nephew up for the reserves because it was his only shot at an education. Either way you decide good luck and god bless..

Answer 9

Honestly, you have the right to your opinions, wishes, and what you want out of life. So does he. You have the right to tell him how you feel, but ultimately it is up to him to make the decision on what to do. Once he makes a decision, you either stand by that choice or move on. And if he he decides to stay, it should be his choice and he will have no right to blame you because he made the decision. You cannot change a person, its not fair to that person. When you love someone you love them no matter what, even when you are scared for them. I understand your fear, I am married with a little girl of our own, my father was in Vietnam and I grew up never knowing who my dad was.

Answer 10

I have been married 25 years. Luckily, my wife stuck by me the 7 years I was in the Air Force. The key is, do the two of you want to achieve the same goals? Kids, Life, House etc. Those are the questions to ask.