I love my wife with all my heart, please don't get me wrong but I am never satisfied sexually. I think she loves me equally too. I am now beginning to questioning the opinnion "one woman may never be enough for a man". I don't want to cheat on her. I don't think I need sex therapy because this problem happens only after having sex with my wife, it's like "where is the beef" you know what I mean.
2006-07-24 17:47:45 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
James definitely has the secret figured out. I totally agree. Even though I naturally am more of a sexual/sensual person anyways, sometimes we (us women) need a little spark put back into the bedroom. A man who does those things... I personally believe, will have a very satisfied sex life as well. And even for those of you who think your sex life is already fine... you will be utterly amazed at what a woman will do when her interest, love, and curious attention is turned back towards you.
I am sure you love her, but sometimes within time, the kids, work, and basically life, takes its toll on your marriage, and if you are not careful, you may be tempted to "stray". Be romantic, caring, respectful, sensual, charming, loving, fun, and spontaneous. You will be amazed. The intimacy between two people who truly love each other, is the ultimate connection. It is more powerful than any "cheating" experience could ever give you. Cheating is just an invitation to further problems. Nowadays... porn is an addiction too readily available, and if you are not careful, it will become a disease that will kill your marriage. Be playful, curious, and sexy together. You won't regret it. Best of regards.....
; )
2006-07-24 18:14:20 · answer #1 · answered by boxergirl 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The old saying is that if you put a penny in a jar for every time you make love during the first two years, then start taking one out every time, that you won't empty the jar. In other words, your married sex life is pretty much over at five years. And in most other husband-wife relationships the same thing is happening, sorry to say. So to the bitter answers to your sad questions: (1) a month? Maybe at Christmas and his birthday if the husband has been good and gotten his wife a Christmas present she wanted (or on his birthday as a substitute for her buying him a present). Even then the sex is likely to be perfunctory unless she's drunk or high or otherwise uninhibited, or unless something has tripped a trigger on some hot fantasy she hasn't disclosed to you. I don't think more than one or two percent of plus-five-year marrieds ever have sex more than twice a day, silly question. (2) Oral sex - hardly ever initiated by wives unless they're feeling guilty about something and am trying to win his forgiveness. Wives generally don't like to peforom oral sex. Again, plus-fives are lucky to get their wing wanged as often as twice a year, at least without begging. (3) Yes, it slows down for several years. When you stop asking for it every night it will stop completely. You notice already that you're the only one ever bringing the subject up, don't you. When you get tired of pleading, that's that. It probably doesn't HAVE to be this way but it most often is. (4) Sounds like you have a problem with being premature. This may contribute to your wife's avoidance of the topic - why get all aroused (a slow process) if you won't be able to take her all the way over the top? Her being germophobic would suggest that she thinks oral sex is dirty, which it really isn't, from a germ standpoint. But if she wants to give it a chance, both of you shower first. Maybe together. And get things going in there, if she's really in the mood. (Which it sounds like she never is.) You might be a little too hung up on oral ... there are other ways to get off, and there's nothing wrong with maybe just giving her a back rub and cuddling and making her warm and cozy without it ending up in sex. (Now and then, anyway, LOL.) (5) You probably married her because of what she is inside, not what she looks like outside. Sorry for the weight, but making her feel loveable and loved would be the first step toward a better sex life for you both (and maybe would motivate her to lose weight). But SHE has to make that decision alone, you can't speak up about it - she'll only resist you and plunge further into her bad eating habits. You've got to concentrate on your image of how she was when you married and be loving and supportive. Never suggest she lose weight, that's poison to her. I wish I could tell you something more hopeful. I've heard there are couples for whom married-life sex just keeps getting better and better, and more nuanced and better in quality as the years go on. I can't imagine this happens too often. Maybe 15 pecent of marriages are still having "hot sex" after the 10, 15, 20-year marks, but I think the odds are more likely the other way.
2016-03-27 05:52:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sex begins in the kitchen!
You have to serve your wife in the morning. Make her breakfast in bed. Start her morning bath. All these sweet favors really stirr up a womans SEX Drive!!
Tell her, "I want to take you out on a special Date!" Be passionate about it! Take her by the arm.......and look her in the eyes..........and tell her, " I want to show you off tonight! I'm going to take you to the finest restaraunt tonight. Do some dancing, a little champagne, and bring you home to the Best Massage you have ever had!"
Then, we'll see how well she does in bed. She will rock your world. She will be the next one on this computer, wanting to know, "How can I get my husband to have sex for longer than one minute?"
LOL. Have fun!
2006-07-24 17:57:41 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My friend who is married once told me that the best affair she ever had was with her husband. They used to have a dull sex life and they communicated about it and reached a resolution to spice up their sex life together. First of all you ahve to get that puny mentality that "one woman may never be enough for a man". Do you know what you believe is normally what happens. To me working together with your wife, would best solve this problem without hurting each other.
2006-07-24 17:54:14 · answer #4 · answered by ngina 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and your wife need to talk. Are there other problems in your relationship. Are you satisfying her. Try more romance, more attention out of the bed. dont cheat on her.
Consider marriage or sex counseling, or a vacation.
2006-07-24 17:53:09 · answer #5 · answered by Yourname Here 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fantasize. It's allowed. Pretend she's an attractive co-worker, old flame, movie star, ANYTHING that defuses the dissatisfaction so you don't go cheating on her. Buy the Kama Sutra and see if she's willing to play along. And if you're both frisky and fine with it, there are several "swingers" groups out there that encourage swapping of partners. Just keep it open, consensual, and with the assurance you still love each other....then go nuts!
2006-07-24 17:51:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you dont honestly love your wife .. if you can be satisfied by having sex with your wife then maybe the *feelings* are just not there anymore sometimes this happen's hope you figure it our for her sake
2006-07-24 17:53:06 · answer #7 · answered by amaniandricardo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try spicing up your sex life.. cheating is never an anwser who knows maybe she isn't being satisfied sexually and women have a tendency to do it even if they are no longer intrested if it's not good for her she will not care if it's good for you... Good Luck
2006-07-24 17:51:56 · answer #8 · answered by Amy M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure its not the same for her?Maybe a sex therapy counsler would help. or try role playing and talking.
2006-07-24 17:54:48 · answer #9 · answered by Chantell L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing cures like communication. Talk to each other, role play, watch movies but opening it up in this forum is half-way...talk to her. Tactfully.
2006-07-24 18:15:08 · answer #10 · answered by oldest man 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋