My daughter forged my signature on 3 checks. If I don’t press charges then what should I do?

Question

Okay, I thank you all for answering my previous question. But now I don’t know what to do. I tried to approach my daughter telling her to return what is left from the money and to return things to the store. Her reply was: In your dreams. What would you do?

Answer 1

Exactly HOW old is your daughter? Are you a single parent? Are there others in the home Father, Sister Brother? Why did she do this in the first place?


1. Contact your bank! Make her go into your back and tell them exactly what she did and why!
2. Contact your police department ASK them what can/should be done.
3. Contact your local Juvenile Services for programs you can get her into. Therapy!
4. IMMEDIATELY LOCK YOUR PURSE, MONEY UP!!!
5. Contact her school principal, teachers, guidance counselor etc. LET THEM KNOW EVERYTHING! Email them!
6. CONTACT all her friends & their PARENTS let them know EVERYTHING!
7. Tell her brothers & sisters, grandparents, aunts/uncles what she has done. Get the entire family invloved with her punishment!


MARCH HER AND THE MERCHANDISE SHE STOLE FROM YOU INTO EACH & EVERY STORE. MAKE HER CONFESS TO THE STORE MANAGER WHAT SHE DID.

DO NOT ALLOW HER TO GO ANYWHERE ALONE FOR THE NEXT MONTH OR MORE!!!

HAVE HER WORK OFF THE ENTIRE DEBT OF $500 LOTS OF LAWN MOWING, CLEANING HOUSE, DOING DISHES, TAKING OUT THE GARBAGE, WASHING THE CAR, WASHING THE WINDOWS INSIDE & OUT, WEEDING, CLEANING THE GARAGE/BASEMENT, HELPING OTHERS - GRANDPARENTS, AUNTS/UNCLES, NEIGHBORS ETC.

LEAVE NO STONE UNTURNED!!! TOUGH LOVE HERE!

*** My daughter stole $10 from my purse. She LIED about taking it! She did give it back to me. She could not go anywhere for 2 weeks AND when we went shopping she had to hold onto the cart the entire time! She could not go alone anywhere. She was 10/11/12 yrs old at the time. She now ASKS if she can have some money. Grandparents/Aunts were TOLD what she did!!! Embarrassment at her age isnt all that great!

Her 2 younger brothers HAVE never stolen anything from my purse because of what she did!!! Punishment isnt fun at their ages!!! ***

Answer 2

No kidding that's a federal offense. What she did is referred to as fraud, or identity theft. It carries the same penalties as if someone digging through your trash stole your signature and started forging checks. In fact, I have a hunch that it might be one of those crimes where it doesn't matter if you want to press charges; the government is obliged to prosecute her. I would definitely call the police though. What she did might seem minor since she is your daughter, and it was only a piece of paper, but what she did was a VERY serious offense, and you would be doing her a disservice if all you did was inform her that what she did was wrong. She knows that it was wrong, telling her it was wrong instead of involving law enforcement just teaches her that you are a safer person to mess with than the rest of society, and you surely will fall victim to something else she will do later. Do your daughter a favor - call the police. She needs a good scare, or this will happen again. If you don't want to press charges there will likely not be any jail time involved, but she will get a loud and clear message that her parents aren't the pushovers the might think you are, if she has enough cockiness to do such a terrible thing to you.

Answer 3

You mentioned in your other question that you and your daughter had a counselor. That would be the best person to ask. Personally, though, I would press charges. That's a felony and by not allowing her to face the consequences of her felony, it would be akin to teaching her that's it's okay to do whatever she wants.

If I were you, I would start by removing everything of value from her room and selling it until the amount of money stolen had been returned. After that, I would deny her access to any and all privileges until she'd earned them back through her actions. It would be a very simple and written down agreement. Finally, I would explain that this is her only get out of jail free card. If she commits a crime again, I would press charges or if she commits a crime against someone else, I would not bail her out of it.

The thing to remember is that the ethics she's learning now are the ethics she'll carry into adulthood where you can't protect her from the consequences of her actions.

Of course, I know nothing of your circumstances or your daughter, so I don't know if it would work for you. The counselor is your best resource.

Answer 4

Forgery, and identity theft, are federal offenses, if I'm not mistaken. In any case, reporting her for it will probably lead to jail time.

It's up to you how to handle this. If the stolen sums are relatively small, I suggest you notify the places she wrote the checks to, and notify your bank. Secure your household by removing any paper trail from it, (SSN #'s, credit card #'s) and closing the accounts. Tell her you are doing these things, and if she ever does it again, you will report it as forgery and identity theft.

It's a tough spot to be in. My sister did something similar to me a few years ago, and I found out about it when a problem showed up on my credit report. There is no remedy available to you, other than reporting it as a crime. You either must pay the bill, or report it, to have the money returned to you.

I chose not to report it, while telling my sister that if she ever did it again, I would. I meant it. I told her I love her, but I will not be her victim. It's a very hard choice, when you love your family. But, I had to recognize it as part of a pattern of behaviour I had no other power to influence. My choice was to give my sister a second chance, but to draw the line at that point.

So far, she has not trespassed again. In your case, you must be ready to make good on your threat, or be prepared for this behaviour to continue well into the future, at your expense. Your daughter may not believe you will ever do anything so drastic. If you threaten her with turning her in, but don't mean it, she will know it's an empty threat. You must truly be commited to your course of action, whatever that may be.

I'm so sorry you are having to experience this. Best of luck to you.

Answer 5

Time for some tough love.

The bank will not let you off the hook unless you sign an affidavit of forgery that gives them permission to press charges, otherwise you will remain legally responsible for the checks. If you decline to help them press charges, she will keep doing this until your money, your banking relationships, and your credit rating are gone.

Prosecute, but also get some treatment and/or family counseling, ASAP. Your daughter obviously is asking for help of some kind. I did not see the earlier question, but this sounds like substance abuse or a serious behavioral problem that will only get worse if untreated. And if she is in rehab or you are in family counseling trying to understand and correct the behavior problems together, it is possible that a court might be more lenient with her.

Answer 6

Press charges !!! and yeah i know that is easyer said then done but first make sure she is the one who forged your signature. 2. if you know for sure that she was the one who done it then press charges. After all you cannot let your child get away with everything. And by pressing charges she will know you mean business. Other wise she will just do it again ! ! ! and if you don't want to do that. the other defense you have is to whip her butt !!! Alot of parents should get back to doing that big time. And don't sit there and cry with her after you whip her butt either. be the parent for crying out loud !!!

Answer 7

Press charges, she thinks you owe her something and during or after her jail time you two may need ciunseling. i know as a mother you don't want to do this but it has to be done...what if she begins to forge bigger checks not yours if you don't take this to the highest level now your daughter will be doing worse things than forging checks you must press charges....if you love her you will press charges

Answer 8

Press charges now, before she does something much worse. I'm a mom speaking from experience. I have a son in jail for stealing a friend's credit card. He had solen from me many times and I tried to 'save' him. He even said that I should have pressed charges the first time. Good luck. If you need support contact me [e-mail]

Answer 9

Boy, what a terrible position to be put into. I sit here and think about what I would do to any of my children that did that to me and I honestly do not know what I would do. On one hand if you press charges, then what? Will she hate you for the rest of her life? On the other hand if you do not press charges, will she move on to big and better things? Tough choice. I think pressing charges and having her hate me would be better than her being incarserated for stealing for others, with a possible lifetime of misery for you and her. Follow your gut feeling on this one and keep in contact and let me know how things are going. I really feel for you.

Answer 10

I know this is a difficult situation, but you will have to press charges. I know this will be kinda awkward, but she is disrespecting you by saying,"In Your Dreams!" And that is when you should put your foot down. Next she might rob you out of all you're money and you will be bankrupt! You really need to press charges as soon as possible!
Good Luck Sweetie and God Bless You!!!