Im a 18 year old girl, I love my family a lot and they are very very traditional people who sees gay people as "freaks" (this is the reason for why got a boyfriend at first).
2 years ago I had my first girl-girl experience and I realized I was gay, of course I freak out but a friend of mine help me to accept it.
Time pass and now a days I have a boyfirend (I think the only man in the world that i find attractive( but I start to date him because of my parents)) and I love him very much, he know my "secret" and he accept this, at the begging he also let me be with girls!!!!, but now he is jealous and he starts to act weird when I say something nice about women (of course he don't let me be with one now), and he ask me to forget i like girls forever but my problem is that I´m a lesbian (except 4 him I ONLY LIKE GIRLS), and I cant give up on this, I LOVE GIRLS, but I really care about him...
and if I decide to live as a lesbian and my parents find out they would kill me..
help!!!!!!!
2006-07-24 16:51:47 · 24 answers · asked by Laura G 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Since you opened yourself up with honesty and need an answer let me also be honest. I have two children in their late twenties and they are gay. A daughter and a son.
I never had any idea my daughter was. But I kind of wondered about my son. I am not a grandmother type Mom but I was a teenage Mother, I am 15 years older than my son and 18 years older than my daughter. I did not want this kind of lifestyle for either of them. But the big thing is they did not want it either. They would not have chosen this life for themselves. But they deal with it the best they can.
You have obviously tried to live a different lifestyle than gay. But you know you best and it isn't working for you. I can't tell you what to do with your parents because I do not know them. I don't know how they will react. The thing that matters most here is that you deserve a good life too. Yes, you love your family very much, but you are 18 now and they probably won't really kill you, so if you have to go off and live somewhere else, then you do. But what you don't do is feel guilty or dirty or wrong for what you can't help. Whatever anyone's opinion of your situation is, don't make it your's about yourself. No one gets to define you, but you honey. Tell your parents in the best way you can. Type it, email it , tex it, have the neighbor tell them. Be prepared, it will take some getting used too and some adjustments for along time. But chances are if your as close as you say, they will come around. I wish you the very best honey. Stay safe. Be happy. Let me know if you need a friend.
2006-07-24 17:21:33 · answer #1 · answered by cowgirlup64 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you're not. Not based on what you're telling us. Fantasizing (even when masturbating) is one thing and acting upon your desires is another. There's very beautiful people in both genders, so it's pretty normal and a lot of people have fantasies about them, more often than they care to admit. Another thing that you mention is that your attraction is based on what you see, but you're not talking about feeling anything emotionally speaking to anyone, which is just as important in order to determine which gender attracts you most. Could you fall in love with another guy? As you said, girls attract you emotionally, so that would be a no. It is a long road ahead for you and as you grow older you'll find out if your views change and get comfortable with the idea of exploring your sexuality with other men, but even if you did it once, it doesn't mean that you'll do it again, and let alone, establish an emotional connection with someone of your same gender. Life isn't black or white, so relax. Get to know yourself better, and don't let people, either gay or straight, label you so easily.
2016-03-27 05:49:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen,
When I was you age I decided to have a girlfriend (I am a gay guy). I decided to change my sexuality and all I needed to do was to find a nice girl.
She found me and we dated for like, 6 years. I was totally in love with her.
We were practically married and I was almost a father at least twice!!! (False alarm)
We eventually broke up just because we were partying wayyyyyy to much and we werent getting anywhere, I guess.
I did love her though.
Anyway, a few years after that, a guy came after me and started flirting...I knew what I wanted to do...We were together for about 9 years.
I dunno. Youre fine. Just dont hurt the guy or lead him on...you know?
In the end it will all work itself out.
This isnt an emergency really, and the resolution to such a problem is NOT an IMMEDIATE issue that must be solved RIGHT NOW.
Just have fun, but be nice.
2006-07-24 16:59:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are going to have to decide here because you are playing both sides against each other. Your parents aren't going to kill you but they will probably be very upset and shocked. You should talk to them. You love girls but do you love one girl. You love one guy but do you love him enough. Because you have a boyfriend your parents are thinking eventually marriage, grandkids, etc. if they can get you through college without any problems. While you are really trying to discover your true identity. If you can't talk to your parents yet I would talk with a counselor and get some help from someone professional who wont pressure you to think the way they want you to.
2006-07-24 17:05:36 · answer #4 · answered by davi h 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all..There is no such thing as Gay...! It is decision made ...just like what college you want to go to or will you eat your vegetables or not! Its like a choice do you smoke cigarettes or not. Do you want to drink too much or not? Smoking offends some people, being drunk offends people now society has let having sex with the same sex enter the norm...Well the majority still think its not normal so..What you do is your choice but don't put your decision on other people. Make up your mind..!
2006-07-24 17:05:27 · answer #5 · answered by Dark Knight 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The question is do you like to have sex with your boyfriend or do you just like him as a person. If the sex is good, maybe you're bi-sexual. If you only think about women, let the poor guy find someone else. Don't become to active sexually until you leave your parent's house. Then do it discreetly until your parents can accept that you like women.
2006-07-24 16:59:25 · answer #6 · answered by yamaha bassman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have to say if you are gay and happy with women then that is what you need to be doing. Don't let people like you family step in the way of what makes you happy. And as far as your boyfriend goes, he needs to accept that you are gay, that who you are and either he needs to deal with it or move on. Simple as that! Good luck to you!
2006-07-24 17:00:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you think your boyfriend is attractive, then you cant be gay. Possibly you may be bi or just bicurious and going through that stage. No lesbians find a male sexually attractive. He may be the only on you find attractive in a sexual way, but still he is a male. And lesbians dont do males. So you are bisexual or just curious and experimenting with girls. IDK which it is, just trying to help
2006-07-24 17:15:37 · answer #8 · answered by Care Bear 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get rid of your boyfriend and don't have anyone right now. Not even girls. Once you move of your own, do whatever you like. If by then your family decides to hate you or whatever, oh well. YOUR HAPPINESS is what matters.
2006-07-24 16:56:23 · answer #9 · answered by Private Account 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like it is time to move on to female relationships. Staying with this guy will never make you or him happy. He will forever be jealous of you every time you look at a girl, and you will always be looking at girls. It sounds like it is time to end this relationship and be honest with your parents.
2006-07-24 16:57:36 · answer #10 · answered by bluechick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋