For married couples what has been the rockiest part of your marriage?

Question

For newly weds and for couples married for years, whats the hardest thing you have had to go through for your marriage. What was it? And did you guys stay together and work things out? And how did you work it out?

I just want to know some of the common problems marriages deal with. Thanks :o)

Thanks so much for the responses, I'm not married, nor am I planning to get married, I'm only 20, but at least I can see what most married people go through, and more props to you guys cause it seems like it takes alot of patience. God Bless All Of You :o)

Has distance ever been a problem?

Answer 1

Hi there: I've been married for 18 years. Money is probably the biggest challenge to a marriage, and it bleeds over into everything else.

For me, I was a pretty irresponsible young man, and it drove my wife to the point where she felt like she wished she'd never married me. We were 8 years and a kid plus another on the way into our marriage, struggling to make ends meet, and I spent all my time on outside endeavors, barely making ends meet, and trying to live a few creative pipe dreams.

When I finally woke up, thanks to my wife and my mentor at the time, I quit all my extracurriculars and promised to devote myself to taking care of business first. We talked it out and the one thing we had was that we both took our vows of "till death do us part" very seriously. I then set about winning her heart back. I didn't place any expectations on her emotional responses, and instead concentrated on being the kind of husband I knew she needed. To her everlasting credit, she didn't wait very long to let me know emotionally how much she appreciated every effort.

I'll never forget the time we went through, and I think about it every time we get cross with each other, which isn't very often anymore. Now we've been married 18 years and have three kids. I have since become pretty successful and we are more in love with each other than we ever have been.

If anyone out there is having a hard time in their marriage, I would encourage them to talk to their spouse and to do their best to be the kind of person they wish they were married to without expecting anything in return. If your spouse is at all a good-hearted person, they will really appreciate your efforts at being a loving spouse and will probably do so in turn.

Everyone's experience may vary, but whatever you can do will be more likely to help than hurt.

Answer 2

We have all been there. Work on your marriage and find another job. Discontinue the friendship. It's not worth losing a great guy/husband over. You might think you know this friend, but once you get divorced he could turn into Ike Turner. Once you abandon your spouse, things can never be undone. At least try to make your marriage work. See a therapist. Go on a weeks vacation together. You sound bored and this new guy makes you feel the way you used to. Don't ruin your marriage over new feelings. Those feelings will end and then you'll be in the same situation.

Answer 3

My husband was in the military, and I found out he kissed a girl after we got married. We actually seperated for 6 months for the lack of trust. We have been back together now for... hmmm... 7 months. Have been married for almost three years. We just take it one day at a time, and when we get heated up (to the point of arguing) We both admit there have been times we have hurt eachother. (I started to see someone while we were seperated.) We understand no one is perfect, love isnt the only thing we have, we have understanding too. Number one thing that makes it work.... we know we are friends before husband and wife.

Answer 4

I am self employed. The rockiest part of our lives was when my business was not doing well. I was in debt and was not able to bring much money home. My wife bugged me non stop for hours at a time. When my business was doing well, we lived a very comfortable life. So no complain from her. We managed to work things out though. I think a lot of problems in marriage has its roots linked to money, the lack of it.

Answer 5

There has been two times. When we spent more than we made. The bill collectors calling everyday, and no way to pay the bills. I blamed him, he blamed me. We stopped answering the phone which rang constantly. I was so mad at him for taking a failing 2nd job, which cost us more than he made.

2nd time. I told him we were through, I was not going to spend anymore time with him if he didn't start going places with his family. He never goes camping, roller skating, monster jam, car races, etc with us. I took off my wedding rings one year ago and they are still off. I am tired of acting like a single mother but actually being married. He has made small attempts, but I know he is not having any fun. ~ which I am still wanting to seperate over this.

Answer 6

The hardest thing to do is to tell the other person that the marriage is over and that you want to separate or divorce knowing that they do not want to, even though you have been through all the things that all of the other people have already mentioned, and your spouse still wants to stay together and you are over it.

Answer 7

Money and kids...or kids and money. You can plan and talk all you want but until kids come along, you just don't know. Sometimes it's just minor differences in your ideas of upbringing. Then, there is the money aspect. Since this is such a vague subject, it's hard to tell you exactly WHAT you will be arguing about when it comes to your funds. Keep talking...work through it. Remember, you made a vow.

Answer 8

Our issues incluced a complicated pregnancy, infertility issues, death of family members, and Mother in Law issues. These were the tough things. I'd say the good things far outweigh the bad. This is a good question, you're smart for asking to see both sides. I like a girl without rose colored glasses on. You'll do well.

Answer 9

well dealing with the ex's...i have 3children by 2 other guys..one does not see his children at all which is fine. the other might pick up his boy once every three months and my husband supposedly has a child with his ex but she may not be his. so over kids and his ex...my ex's don't cause any problems but his does. she only know who one of her children's dad is and the other three the girl has no clue. even the one she says belongs to my husband. the kid looks nothing like him but ican point out the guy the kid looks just like...and yes the ex ran around on him all the time....so that is our problem....and his parents always telling him how to run his life and his so called childs life....

Answer 10

The hardest part is discovering that some of those habits your spouse has (which you found so endearing while dating) now drive you crazy. Just don't be afraid to tell each other anything and if you can't -- tell a professional so they can lend a unbiased perspective.