in feb i went to a club and a man came up and kissed me. out of nowhere. i didnt ask him to, he just did. my husband found out the next day. he was mad because i didnt tell him. i said i never would have told him because it would just hurt him. he said i should have told him anyway and now he says i lied to him. do u think i lied by not telling him? i would have told him if he had asked.
2006-07-24 15:58:42 · 27 answers · asked by scooter trash 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
why wouldn't you tell him??? The fact that he found out from someone else makes you look guilty cause let's face it- you acted guilty. You should ask yourself why you couldn't go to him with it. Where is the trust here? Why would it hurt him if you did nothing wrong? Now he's hurt anyway, but becuase you actually did do something wrong. I know in your eyes it was small and stupid, you didn't ask for it- but what would you think if it were the other way around and he didn't tell you. Time to kiss a little *** honey and make sure it doesn't happen again. Give him the 3 B's, they alway work.
2006-07-24 16:05:29 · answer #1 · answered by southern belle 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Yes it was a lie by omission (not telling him up front). How was he suppose to ask you if he wouldn't have found out by other means? Think of it that way. You would have gone on as if it had not happened, and that makes him feel like you have something to hide and are a lair. So, things will be a little tensed for a while, until he feels that the trust has been earned again. Another thing, who's to say that this guy won't try that again, at the wrong time (your husband may be around). He could become a stalker or may have a mental problem. You should have prepared your husband of the situation.
2006-07-24 23:07:04 · answer #2 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you see you're playing the lawyer thing. You're hanging onto the exact letter of the law...but deep down you probably found it somewhat exicting (forbidden fruit etc....). Yes you were wrong, yes you hurt him...yes if he's ever in a position to "kiss" (and maybe a little more as well) he will remember this incident and "payback" will be the rule of the day. You should have told him, you should have been pissed off at this guy to protect your position with your husband. That should be your only concern...is your position with your husband...noting else matters.
Check out the following website. It can answer your questions better than I can. It will also give you a "bird's eye" view of a guy's psyche.
http://www.condomsbrasandstraightjackets.com/
Good luck
2006-07-24 23:06:15 · answer #3 · answered by hoyhoydc 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't have to kiss a man in a club just because he asked you to. It is a form of betrayal and your husband is right to be upset that you did it and even more of a right because you lied about it. I hope you don't do this kind of thing often. You've hurt your husband. Were you mad at your husband and this is kind of a passive aggressive thing. It doesn't show good judgement.
2006-07-24 23:02:52 · answer #4 · answered by doryanne949 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when this guy kissed you ,did you kiss back?if not then you should have told him.that same night.in fact you should have called him the second after it happened.so he could come down to the club and kick that guys azz.you not telling him means that you thought nothing of it.do guys do that kind of thing to you all the time.did you slap this kisser in the kisser.and how would he know to ask."oh by the way dear ,did any azzholes kiss you when you were at the club".if you want to resolve this take your husband back to the club with you and point out this guy and let him get back some of the dignity he thinks he lost.
2006-07-24 23:09:40 · answer #5 · answered by curtismarsch 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have some mixed feelings about this. I'm not big on "tell" if you are innocent.
This guy just did it out of nowhere and you weren't leading him on or asking for it.
I would vote NO TELL.
Your husband is over reacting -- it isn't like you ran off with the dude.
I can see where ti might bother him, but it was such a no big deal it hardly bears mention. is he that jealous?
2006-07-24 23:04:48 · answer #6 · answered by DD 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If there was a chance your husband would find out, you should have been the one that told him first. It's going to take you a while to build up his trust again. It was wrong for you to kiss this guy, random act or not. Did you stop this guy, or allow him to finish his kissing attack? Did you push him away? Did you let security know you were attacked? I didn't think so....
2006-07-24 23:04:33 · answer #7 · answered by julesl68 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The guy kissed you? Just walked up out of the blue and kissed you? Then what? He walked away and you never saw him again?
Yes, you should have told your husband as soon as possible. It's a lie of omission.
2006-07-24 23:03:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
By your writing, you don't even appear old enough to be married, and certainly not mature enough. It's no big deal to get a person to stop kissing you if you don't wish to be kissed, honey. This isn't even a real question.............You liked the guy to have kissed you, you answered him back, probably because you were both drunk. You, sweetie, made a mistake. Two things: Yup, you lied, and secondly, don't go back to that place.....
2006-07-24 23:04:01 · answer #9 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people say lieing is also by not telling the person...so in a way you did lie...if he really loves you he would of trusted you that you didn't go up and kiss the other guy...but you should of told him about it right away...
2006-07-24 23:03:20 · answer #10 · answered by Nanner♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋