Is it wrong of me to resent my husband because he can't do anything around our house mechanically?

Question

I grew up watching my dad and brothers. I can do alot around the house. Well I have to do all of it. So I would think he should appreciate all the hard work I do and the money I save us. He only acts as though it's no big deal and honey could you please go fix the leak in the attic while you're up! I get so frustrated and begin to think why the heck do I need him anyway? I guess because he is the father of my children. Just frustrated!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 1

Yes it's wrong to resent him because of that...Please let me explain. If you are starting to resent him it leads me to believe that both of you have not sat down to talk about it, just my view point. Some men are truly just not mechanically incline. My wife and I went through something just like this but it was over cleaning the house, when I was cleaning I could never do it just right, go figure, :) and we sat down and talked about the issue because it was driving her nuts and we came to a solution. Yes by all means you can be frustrated but do not resent. Resenting someone will only create a rift in the marriage and it will slowly pull you apart. I would sit down with him and talk about the issue and make sure that you have all your questions answered on why. and let him know that you don't feel appreciated but do this in a calm rational manner, do not raise your voice, do not make snide comments and do not take an aggressive approach. I would just sit down and talk I think that would really help your frustration level and you might get a better in-site as to why.

Answer 2

Well, you knew you weren't marring a jack of all trades, and he didn't pretend to be one. So, the fact that he acts like he does is because of there was no pretense which is good. Now the fact that he don't try to help or appreciates you doing so much to save and keep things running is another issue. He's wrong for that and you need to let him know how you feel, and maybe things will change. If you don't relay this to him instead of just being resentful, then things can get worse between you and he won't really understand why or even try to prevent it until it's too late.

Answer 3

Your resentment is anger directed at your hubby but it's really anger at yourself. You knowingly married someone that was not mechanically inclined. I know someone in your shoes, she truly disliked the fact he hubby couldn't do anything. I would go over house all the time to repair, hang a picture, turn on a pilot light, etc. Ultimately we had sex as often as we could. She ultimately got a divorce and is happier now. So don't let this resentment ruin your marriage.

Answer 4

I don't know if you are right or wrong, but I agree men
should be able to fix things around the house. I always
thought men just knew how. My husband fixes things
and he didn't really know how to do alot but financially we couldn't afford to have somebody fix things around the house. He can fix almost anything or at least try. I can't imagine him letting you fix things, he should feel bad ! I
can understand your frustration over this and you may have to simply tell him exactly how you feel. Good Luck

Answer 5

If he expects you to fix everything, make sure he isn't bored while your fixing the things. You know there are a lot of things he can do. Like wash dishes, clean house, laundry, etc. Don't resent him unless he refuses to do what a lot of women do while the men are fixing things. Even then don't resent him, take him out in the yard and kick his ***.

Answer 6

I'm sure you married him for something other than his mechanical skills, what were those reasons? You knew he wasn't mechanical when you married him, so don't suddenly raise the bar on him. My husband and I balance each other, if we both had the same skill sets, one of us would be unneccessary. Our marriage is successful because we are Happily Incompatable. Sometimes I know something he doesn't, but he doesn't want to listen to me, and you know what? So what if he breaks it, or wastes money on it. Because he learns much better for himself than from me. Please don't resent your husband, it is entirely the oposite of love and respect, and you wont be able to see the good if you dwell on the bad. Keep loving your man, you'd be amazed how tall he can be when you don't beat him down.

Answer 7

I think that's one of the things you kind of find out about before you marry someone, right? I mean, the horse is out of the barn, no sense of closing the barn door now. If he was good at that but lousy at something he's good for now, would it make a difference? Say he's a great cook, or a loving father, would that not be important if he was handy? Unfortunatley, it makes us look petty when we gripe of such things when it's something you probably knew before marriage.

Answer 8

Resentment is the big killer in a marriage. But frankly, if you are handy, and he is not, and this is the only thing that you resent, get your head on straight. Some guys just aren't handy, so what? Some gals are.... good for you. But if this is your only problem, hey, there are lots of bigger problems people have in marriage. GEt over it, and be glad one of you can do it......

Answer 9

I have a husband who can't do anything around the house either. Drives me nuts when we have to paint or fix something. But I realized that it's not his fault, it's his parents. They are so reliant on other people to do things it makes me sick. But, he grew up in that enviroment and was never taught how to do those things we were lucky enough to be taught.

Answer 10

Yes, unless he makes his living in the mechanical field.