Recently, my husband and I purchased a home. Since we moved into our house, we realize that setting up a budget and sacrificing certain things were necessary. Our friends continue to plan outings that are beyond our budget. I've mentionned it a couple of times that money's tight and we can't do all the things we used to do anymore. We don't want to go out and eat all the time because we have other things we'd rather pay for. This summer is harder than ever. I am unemployed for two months until the school year starts again. I do not get paid for the summer and we're currently living on 1 income. for 2 months.
Our friends don't get it. They continue planning birthdays and outings that make our eyes grow wider and wider. Last time we went out, they planned to go the restaurant, then we landed in a coffee shop where coffee was 10$ and a slice of cake was 15$.
What should we do if they don't get it? We try so hard to go along with all they do , but we just can't afford it anymore.
2006-07-24 15:18:27 · 7 answers · asked by bonjovifan 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
We don't want to create tension, that's why we went along with it.
They all have good paying full time jobs and they are all living at home with mom and dad. That's why they plan expensive outtings everytime. Because they can afford it, they expect everyone else to be able too. God forbids that someone says that it's too expensive... criticism will start. I love my friends so dearly but I just don't know what to do. It stresses me out just to think about it.
2006-07-24 15:20:29 · update #1
If I plan something low budget, it's too "low budget" for them and they won't want to do it. Even a simple movie night is too low key for them. They like to lead an extravangant life. We've invited them over, but since we moved a bit further away now, coming here is just too far for them. We've planned simple things like game night, hanging out at ours, but they like to go out. Hard to keep my friends indoors!!! :-)
2006-07-24 15:29:40 · update #2
Basically, just tell the truth. If you want, be a little sarcastic about it. Say something like, "It must be nice to wine and dine just because." Some people need bricks thrown at them, sweetie. And, I personally have never went over budget just to save face or impress someone. These same very people are not going to pay your car note when you're over budget, so why try to impress them? Everybody can't live like the Joneses.
Have a little get together at your home instead...invite them over for movie night or something if you still would like to continue the friendship. A real friend will understand and not put you in a position to feel upset or burdened or embarrassed.
2006-07-24 15:25:04 · answer #1 · answered by Dee M 3 · 10⤊ 0⤋
How about you take the reigns and plan some outtings that are within your budget? You complain that everything they plan is too outrageous, but if you planned some things, you could have control over the location, etc. While you have these 2 months free, try investigating low budget, fun things to do. By opening your friends eyes up and letting them see for themselves that they don't have to spend money to have fun, you'll be doing everyone a service.
2006-07-24 22:27:06 · answer #2 · answered by ravyn23259 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So WHAT IS THE PROBLEM? Living up to others' expectations, especially when doing so is way beyond your means, is plain and simple hypocrisy. You afraid that saying "NO" will tarnish your reputation? Well what about your character and personal values? Just tell your friends flat out that you cannot afford to splurge anymore. If they did not understand, then perhaps it's time to re-assess the kind of people that you have sorrounded yourself with. PEACE.
2006-07-24 22:30:25 · answer #3 · answered by vega_erico 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, imo, if they are true friends, they would get it. Looks like you're compelled to "keep up" with them, even though you can't. I would start looking for new friends that are within your budget, it kinda sounds like your friends are spoiled rich kids, or something, and you are embarrassed because you just cant be like them now. Get some new friends, and stop worrying about not keeping up, you are buying a home, and be proud of that.
2006-07-24 22:27:31 · answer #4 · answered by sangellai 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just decline the invites. if they question it, tell them that since buying a home, your budgets are tighter and you have to watch your spending. Just don't go and don't let them pressure you into going out.
2006-07-24 22:28:40 · answer #5 · answered by tigerprincess_bee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell them that you don't have he money for all these great expensive outings. say it in a passive aggressive voice and then maybe end it with "maybe next weekend or something i don't know I'll call you when I'm available."
2006-07-24 22:27:46 · answer #6 · answered by TNQE H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must talk to them calmly and explain your situation. If they really are your friends they'll understand your situation.
2006-07-24 22:24:23 · answer #7 · answered by Clauds 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋