Why can't i trust him like i want to?

Question

my husband has lied to me about certian things. now i don't trust him like i used to. which i really do want to trust him like that again to trust that he will never hurt me that our son, our unborn child and i will always come frist. there are something i still think he is lieing to me about even after him swearing up and down he is telling the truth. need advice

i don't blevie in divroce. he tells me he wants to earn back my trust

no he did not cheat on me. he is the only guy i have been intamet with. which iam very thankfully for

Answer 1

Wow girl, I am in almost the same situation. If you want things to work out between you two, then there needs trust. If it is something you can forget about...then do so. If its not, and you need closure on it....and you don't think he is being truthful...then try to just move on. Having a baby in the situation really sucks....but don't stay with him due to the unborn baby, usually that just makes things drung out and more hurt feelings. Usually your gut tells you what is right. Be honest to you and your child. Do what you HAVE to do! GOOD LUCK HUN!

Answer 2

sexy, some people get hurt in one relationship and carry it to the next , you find yourself hurt in this realtionship and are wishing you can trust again, you have every right at this point to not trust and you shouldnt even try to make yourself , i have never understood why when someone hurts you why it then becomes your responsibilty to learn to trust again. thats a big burden especially if the person that did the hurting is pushing for it to happen quicker. you trusting again is his reponsibilty, what only takes a moment to take away will inturn take a long time to regain and this time its your trusting him..his job right now is he needs to be as transparent to your prying skeptcism. thats the way he can regain your trust is being above reproach. i noticed two thing about what you wrote that i adore 1 thing was you didnt air your dirty luandry to the world. you asked a question. the other was you convey it and you said it , you dont believe in divorce. you are awsome role model for those who do not know what real marriage is about, your husband should know he is very lucky, you are a true gem good luck and i hope somthing you read in the answers helps

Answer 3

Remember in a relations the most important things are love, respect and trust. When one of this is missing then you should think about this.

No trust - no matter what he does even if he is telling you the truth you will always doubt - which will lead to family squabble / strain in the relationship.

If I were you talk to him - tell him how you feel. I know it is easier said than done but remember this there is no perfect marriage. Our parents didn't stay together for 50 years because there were no arguments or doubts but they just learned to let go of trivial things and make a go with what they have.

Answer 4

What was the severity of the lie? Did he cheat on you? Did he have a beer with the guys? If you are in a relationship, and committed to making it last the rest of your life, then you had better prepare yourself for hurt. Life nis about taking the good with the bad. Even perfect couples can hurt each other from time to time. The true test is what will happen after the hurt. Everyone has secrets, and if he isn't ready to share them with you, it doesn't mean that he is bad or uncommitted in your relationship.

Answer 5

go with your instincts! I'm going through the same thing, even though I'm not married.I'm pregnant and he's told me all that same crap and now I know deep in my heart that I made a wrong choice about trying to believe him, and I'll be having this baby alone, it's like a curse I've been living with since I started having kids. I have 2 kids and 1 on the way,all with different fathers and they all don't give a rats *** about their responsibilities or their kids feelings. Hopefully because your married,he thinks a little.

Answer 6

Try not getting on his case when he does tell the truth and it is something you didn't like hearing. I have found that I am not truthful to a girl when I tell her something and she gets on my case about it and start b!tching about it. It just makes me want to not tell the truth or just not say anything at all. Sometimes girls do this and they do not know they are doing it, it is a big turn off and it give us no incentive to tell the truth, especially if all we get out of it is and ear full of a 30 minute lecture.

Answer 7

First of all, youv'e been hurt, so of course it'll be hard to get over havin your husband lie to you. Also, if you want to trust him again, you should talk to him about everything that's been bothering you. If he doesn't listen, make him listen. You need to tell him this because it's not good to keep things bottled up inside. If you still get hurt, well, I don't know what else you can do.

Answer 8

One simple lie always leads to a lack of trust. If you keep getting the feeling that something is not true, it probably is NOT true. However, be certain to investigate your own feelings and base your discussions and thoughts about your husband's statements on CONCRETE EVIDENCE before you accuse your husband of lying to you. Unless you catch him wrong, you MUST give him the benefit of "doubt". Without concrete evidence it could really be just your "imagination".

Answer 9

Once you loose that original trust, it is hard to ever get it back. It was never the same for me again. Most of the time people do not change. Ask yourself if he's worth the constant worry. Whatever you do don't try to get back at him by lying.

Answer 10

Maybe you could try a different approach. Like if he is telling you that you are nagging at him try just talking. No complaining...it is so hard to do. There is this book that I have read and I continue to read, it is called Created to be His Help Meet. You can get it at www.createdtobehishelpmeet.com. It is wonderful! But he also needs to know that he needs to earn his trust and by that he needs to meet your emotional needs. It goes both ways.