Question for moms who nurse/have nursed their baby to sleep?

Question

My daughter is 6-months-old and has been exclusively breastfed. She had colic the first 3 months and would scream between 4pm and 8pm every night. The only thing I could do to soothe her in the slightest was nursing-thus, I would nurse her to sleep every night. However, I still nurse her to sleep at night (takes about 30 min and then she goes straight to sleep in her crib)...If I dont nurse her, she will just scream in her crib. Nothing else will put her to bed - rocking, singing, or any other type of soothing does not work. The only thing that works is nursing. My husband says that i am ruining her by nursing her to sleep and that she will never learn how to fall asleep on her own. Am I making a mistake by nursing her to sleep? It works for us. But, I am very worried about the future. I dont want to create a monster by not having her learn to soothe herself. And I am not willing to just let her scream herself to sleep. Has anyone had this problem? what happened? what should I do?

Answer 1

Take my word for it--*every* baby wants to grow up!! When she's ready to get to sleep some other way, she will do it!! I nursed *all* my kids to sleep until *they* were ready to stop. None of my adult children still want to nurse to sleep--or at any other time. Relax and do what works. There will be enough problems in the future that you don't need to "borrow trouble".

And crying it out is *not* good for a baby. When a baby's cries go unanswered, she secretes high levels of cortisol--a stress hormone--even after she stops crying. It can absolutely harm her. In some cases, it can cause failure to thrive--a condition that is more common in newborns but can happen later as well. It can actually damage baby's brain, as well. And it teaches her that when she is totally dependent, the people who love her most will not help. How would you feel if you were in tears because of a fight with a friend, and asked your husband for a hug, and he told you it "wasn't time yet" or he "didn't want to hear all that screeching"? Your daughter is a human being.

One more thing to consider... By nursing your daughter to sleep, you *are* teaching her how to sleep. You are helping her fall asleep by relaxing (which is what nursing does). If you leave her to cry herself to sleep, you are sending the message that the way to fall asleep is to get upset...then angry...then furious...and more and more until she drops of exhaustion!!

Answer 2

I exclusively nurse my 11 month old and although she didn't have colic we def. went thru the "witching hours" when she was a newborn for weeks. Nursing would always soothe her and I nursed her whenever and for as long as she needed :) She would fall asleep nursing and I would put her in her crib. She has out grown that and no longer nurses to sleep. If I was in your situation, I couldn't let my baby scream herself to sleep either. Maybe try to nurse her until she is real groggy and put her in her crib and leave the room. See if she starts to cry if she'll stop after a few minutes. If she doesn't go in and rub her back or sing to her while she is still in her crib then walk out again or slowly work up to this to see how your little peanut does. Good luck.

Answer 3

I am not a mother but I do have eight younger sibilings (six living boys)...i would say slowly cut back on the minutes your breast feed her to sleep and she will learn to handle it. Also a bit of screaming/crying say 10-15 minutes is not terrible and perfectly normal; if after 10-15 minutes she is still screaming go in and soothe her, only nurse if nothing else IS working. Here is a "schedule" I suggest:

Night 1) nurse her to sleep and time how long it takes
Night 2) nurse her two minutes less than the night before
Night 3- Night ?) nurse her two minutes less every night untill you are down to 2-5 minutes; then eventually when you are ready to ween her take 30seconds to a minute off feeding time every night

Hope this helps goo luck

Answer 4

here is what I did...I still nursed her every night, but instead of letting her fall asleep I would keep her a little awake and when I noticed that she was almost out I would pull her off as gently as I could and hold and rock her for a minute...then I would lay her in the crib and play some soft music for her. Now All I have to do to get ehr to sleep is put her in the crib and put on the soft music. She has learned that when the music is on it is time to sleep (also great for naptimes) It works most of the time but not always even now...so just be strong and set a timer (I set the timer so I know how long she cried...I don't usually let it go more than 10 minutes, it keeps me sane) Good luck.

Answer 5

If your baby is not hungry she needs to learn to sooth herself by this age. I know it is hard to hear her cry and cry.... but, I would try feeding her an hour before bedtime then start a new routine that you do EVERY time for bedtimes such as reading first, then play the same soft music in her room. It may take a few days but eventually she will adjust. A child will cry and cry forever it seems, and if you let her cry for say... 10 mins then go get her, she will surely cry to 10 and more the next time and 15 or more the next because you have taught her that eventually crying will get her what she wants. If she isn't hurt at all, crying will not hurt her. When she does fall asleep and then wakes- give her lots of snuggles and love to say good morning. Good luck. =)

Answer 6

I can tell just by reading this that you are ok with nursing your baby and you seem to have a good relationship with her. I have nursed 3 babies. I am currently nursing my 10month old. My first was nursed for a year, second for 17months and well, I'm nursing the 10month old still. I have always nursed my babies to sleep. It is soothing for the babies and gives the mommy and baby a wonderful bond. I don't see anything wrong with nursing your baby to sleep. If it works for you then there shouldn't be an issue. I have never had a problem with any of mine when they were older. I just gave my children another security object when I was ready to quit nursing for them to sleep with (teddy bear, blankie, something along those lines.) It has always worked out fine for us. Follow your heart and what you think is right for you and your baby.
I wish you the best of luck! And Congrats on sticking with the nursing, a lot of people don't.

Answer 7

Well, I have 3 children and I nursed them all. I was worried too that they would rely on it to fall asleep. I read the book (Babywise) and there were alot of helpful ways to avoid this. I didn't believe in letting my babies cry it out so my husband and I would rock or bounce them before bed. We also used pacifiers which worked. You definitely should stop letting her fall asleep at the breast. In the book it says to keep them awake throughout the whole time you nurse. So keep waking her each time she doses off. The older she gets, the harder it is to break this habit. She does need to soothe herself on her own. Go get the book, it will really help. My children are older now and are great sleepers.

Answer 8

I nursed my son to sleep and we still stay with him at two years old until he falls asleep - but that is our choice. I also nurse him when he wakes in the middle of the night. I really believe that he would just go to sleep on his own if we let him. This was both mine ad my husband's doing.
Do what is most comfortable for you. You are not creating a monster. Nursing a child to sleep is akin to co-sleeping - many people do it and their children turn out just fine.

Answer 9

your baby is only 6 months old and is breastfed. it's very normal if she needs to be nursed to sleep. she needs you!
breastfeeding baby finds comfort in her mom's arms. esp the smell of your body that soothes her a lot.
i used to nurse my baby after she was about 7 months. eventually, i put her in her bed and tried to pat her to sleep and sang her favorite songs. eventually she fell asleep by her own at 8 months old. until now she is already 19 months, she falls asleep by her own. i am no longer patting her to sleep. it's just that she still needs me to be there for her. she falls asleep not more than 30 mins. i do my things like watching TV and she sleep by her own.

don't worry. things can change! don't push her. it takes time for her to do this all by her own. don't be frustrated. things will get better. i used to be so frustrated too as i have some back pain that really bothered me. well, now things get better and better as she grows each day.
all we need to do is to be patient.

hope this helps. good luck!

Answer 10

As a mother who nursed all three of my daughters, and am a loving grandmother to 4 (soon to be five!), I would recommend that you pump some of your milk for the final feeding and let your husband (grandmother etc) take part in the night time ritual. You and your baby need to be more flexible about routine or you have guessed it right, you will create a beautiful child who can not adjust to changes! I know this from experience with my second daughter and her daughter! Their nighttime routine became soooo set in stone (as did much of everything they did with her!) that it was impossible for anyone to "share" in the sweet experience of her first two years because my grand daughter couldn't adjust to a different way of "doing" things! I applaud your loving bonding, but give her and others a chance to reassure her that she can go to bed in other people's arms!