I have a very angry husband?

Question

My husband has been very angry and its getting worse. the kids and I feel we are walking around on egg shells I have told him to see a dr as its not good for us to feel this way all of the time. Anything and every thing seems to get him started. last night me and my 15 year old son were laughing with my 5 year old son as he was trying to take his pants off (to go to the toilet) but forgot he still had his slippers and he looked like he was marching. My husband came into the room and told the 15 year old that he was not having the internet for the rest of the night. I told my husband I was laughting as well. And the 5 year old said but it was funny daddy I forgot to take my slippers off. the night before he got stuck into my 19 year old son. for somthing getting into the modem and fixing some settings. I feel that the 19 year can do what he wants on the puter as he is an adult now. every day its always something. is there something I should say or do.

Answer 1

your husband is expressing himself , through anger.
what other ways does he express thoughts and feelings?
we all need to be reminded sometimes that someone does care deeply about the things most important to us.
can you help him recognize other less harmful ways to communicate?
if abuse is involved , leave and get help.

Answer 2

Sounds like he needs anger management counseling.
It isn't going to be easy to bring it up, but how long before he 'snaps' and smacks you?
Has he ever been violent?
The only reason I even ask is b/c of the age of them, have you been living with his temper for 20 years?
If this is something recent that has only just developed, it would raise some eyebrows. Something could be going on mentally or physically with him. He needs to see a doctor for a complete physical.
If it as been this way the whole time, there is still no reason for it to continue. I would try communicating to him that you are tired of 'walking on egg shells' and you need him to get some help for his sanity (and probably blood pressure as well), your sanity, and your boys' self esteem!

Answer 3

Talk to him about seeing a doctor! Try and approach it in the nicest way possible. Let him know you only want to help him relax and let go a bit. This kind of ongoing reaction is very common. I have a huge family, and alot of us have this problem. A lot of us have seen a doctor, and have been put on something to correct it. It's a chemical balance, and the most common medicine is called Lexapro.
Ask him if he often feels this way.....? Simple noises tend to bother him, and get on his nerves. Such as children playing and so on....? Can't seem to relax and enjoy the simple things in life....? His mind continues to wander, constant thoughts and worries keep him awake....? If these symptoms sound familiar, tell him to see a doctor. So his life can get back to normal, for all of you... Good luck! :)

Answer 4

Have u tried getting him to talk to u about what's bothering him? Are the two of u ok romantically? Are there money problems behind it? There could be any number of reasons for him being so touchy. Try getting some alone time for just u and him so that u can just enjoy each other and talk about things. Remember the worst thing u can do is to take sides between him and the kids. If the oldest is 19 he still has to abide by the rules of the household if he is still living there or getting on the home pc.

Answer 5

first off your 19 year old is not an adult especially when he is living at home. your husband is the head of the household and a 19 y/o isnt his equal and you should convey to your husband your error in judgement on that. you can seek a court injunction at some point if your husband ever looses it to the point you feel he might get physical it doesnt mean he is abusive and its diffrent then a restraining order, its simply the courts saying your way to hot headed and need to get some anger management classes. if your have a paster talk to him if your father inlaw or maother inlaw lives with in visiting range have them drop by and explain to them they carry alot of weight with a grown son. short of that, when your husband gets upset and acts like a buffoon talk to him alone and console him. not confront. i have seen cases where dad is being treated like the bad guy and with out knowing the flip side of the coin its hard to say but women somtimes finds treaties with the children and every one sneers when dad walks in.... if thats the case then you need to help dad assert his dominance in your and his house and where aproprait show him you are still his wife by standing as a strong front if the children do wrong you and he get their butts together like your suppose to be. good luck

Answer 6

Tell him to change his attitude or that you will leave him...If this just started maybe something is bothering him that he doesnt want to talk about, just make sure whatever you do that he doesnt get violent on you, or your children. People that have anger and temper problems usually go from yelling to physically letting out their emotions like hitting. So if your not sure how he would react to your decision, have some family members around you when you tell him. Hope this helps

Answer 7

I would just give him an ultimatum. Either you get help or it is separation time. You and your children do not have to feel like that in your own home. Tell him you are at your last whits end. It is doing more harm to the children and their self esteem. Maybe it may take a short separation for him to see that you are serious. Good luck.

Answer 8

i have been dealing with an angry hubby for 22 yrs. i am the only one that can calm him down when he gets mad. he has a really bad spitfire temper too. my suggestion to you is to sit him down and have a long talk with him. something has to be going on with him. he could be depressed or really confused about something. men do not deal with bad issues as well as women do. first you need to know the problem b4 you can help him. dont let it go any further, trust me he can get alot meaner....GOOD LUCK

Answer 9

How is his stress at work and finacial situation?? maybe he feels trapped and is the 19 yr old pulling his weight??could be he is having emotional pressure such as health problems? or maybe after 20 years he has seen the future catching up with him???getting old is hard to accept for some people?

Answer 10

Your husband has classic signs of depression. Depression has different attributes and irritability, anger, irritation with all people is a sign. Start suggesting that he get some help.