i keep saying to my husbant i need more affection but he thinks i'm needy and insecure?

Question

i feel he doesn't have interest in me any more...i tryed all from my side and every time i tell him that i would like him to pay little more attention to me he does it for a week and then goes back to his old ways...i'm losing patience with this subject and need some advice and ideas.....thanks much

Answer 1

Honey i can feel were your coming from some people just need attention and some don't but its nothing wrong wit it I know you told him but maybe you can express it in another way if that don't work just find something to ocupy your time and maybe he will realize you need more like the computer or books

Answer 2

Its funny how needy we get. I consider myself to be very high maintanance--I need affirmation all the time, words, hugs, kisses, lovemaking, whatever, just show me a few times a day how much I mean to you. Sadly, men and women are wired totally differently. Telling them you need it, does't usually work. When you need attention, try giving it to yourself. Primp. I know you don't feel like it, your tired, worn out and feeling unloved. If he's not taking you out, go out with a girlfriend. Nothing wild and rebelious, but get out for dinner or a movie or something. Or get involved at church. The minute you start having a life of your own that doesn't revolve around them (I don't mean neglect your responsibilities or stop supporting him, just don't sit there like a puppy waiting to be petted) , they suddenly notice how wonderful, and lively, and beautiful you are and what a contagiously happy person you are. Please don't take this as meaning "be manipulative." But depending on your man for all of your happiness seems to be a big turn off. Is he neglecting his responsibilities towards you as a husband? Probably. But there is no way to make him change, you can only change your behaviors, and his will follow. "A person convinced against his will, is of the same mind still." Good luck! Keep loving your clueless man, and start loving yourself a little more too!

Answer 3

affection is a sweet thing and some thing allot crave but don't receive, we will all long for what we don't have and it doesn't mean that he cares any less about you he probably loves you as much now as he did before
what i think you should try and do is get back what it is yous have lost over time get back to basics
give him a special evening make him think in a way that puts you in control let him feel what you want to feel then maybe he will open his eyes to you and your needs, put that spark back into the life you and him have together
if none of this works for you do the complete opposite don't give him what you seek, let him know what it is he is missing out on
remind him that you are in this together and that he needs to give just as much and put in just as much as you do

it is disappointing to hear about relationships that loose that spark so i hope all works out for you and your partner and you both find that little place where you are both happy again

good luck

Answer 4

Dont be too hard on yourself.Stay low for some time. dont ask him anything after u have done this for a week or 2 he will come to u and try to spend some time with u .Dont try to compliment him as yet as chances are there he may go back to his old ways.
If this doesnt work try to like the same things as he does say he likes to watch baseball games u also join him. he will like it in this way u get what u want and he feels u are more attentive to him.

Answer 5

I'm going through the same thing. Don't ever think it's you if he's telling you that your insecure and needy. then his attention is somewhere else and he don't have time nor does he want to cater to your needs. If he do not get on board you will want to go out and get what you need from someone else and that's not good , get strong and find the will to get out of the relationship remember one man's trash is another man's treasure.

Answer 6

It took me 8 years and 2 kids to reach my level on affection. Keep working on it. However I can say that if he never gives it to you the way you want it you will seek it elsewhere.

Answer 7

Many men have no interest in affection, nor, do they know how to be affectionate. You've lived with him this length of time, you must know he will never change.

Answer 8

my husband too. i aked him once in a while to kiss my neck cause i really like it, he won't. Thank god i have a life of my on, our relationship is sometimes more like roommates, i love him and will never leave him, but i know how you feel, i have not had sex for two month now.

Answer 9

Why are you asking?
Why don't you set the stage for events together?

I get the feeling you are waiting for him to come to you.

Answer 10

REad this book-

Surrender to Marriage