My 14 yr old is really into masturbating. How do I deal with this? how do I address it with him?

Question

Hes been caught in the living room several time and I've told him thats not the place to be doing this. Help.

I'm a single mother. his dads not around so I must deal with this on my own.

I've had several talks with him and he still dose it in places he shouldn't.

Answer 1

I would assume that a straight talk would not work. Maybe you should try and get him a special place to do his thing. Ask him why he does it in the areas he does. Then set up the place where he goes with the things that he would like. This way he and you are happy. Perhaps the best way to address him may be trough writing. In letters there is no place for angry expressions and large amounts of embarrassment.

Answer 2

Hey, I first saw Fast Times at Ridgemont High when I was 14. Take it from Judge Reinhold; the best place is in the bathroom, especially when he's watching a hot chick like Phoebe Cates coming out of the pool. Just be sure to tell him to LOCK the bathroom so he's not surprised by someone walking in on him.

And the bedroom's OK, too, with the door LOCKED!

BTW, what is it he's masturbating to anyway? His dad is obviously not in the home, and I'm sure dad took whatever skin mags he may have collected (Playboy, Penthouse, Big 'Uns).

So what is it? Victoria's Secret catalog? Pictures of cheerleaders from school? Wal-Mart undies circular?

Answer 3

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Answer 4

Tough question. Obviously, we all know this isn't wrong, but at times in-appropriate. It might be best to have a prominant male figure in his life sit with him, and explain how it isn't a bad thing to masturbate, but a good idea to choose the right time and place. Tell him that a living room is probably the worst place to be, as it is unsanitary to do so. Have this male figure go so far as to recomend better places if need be, and finally make it KNOWN to him that you're not mad at what he is doing.

Answer 5

Thats pretty much all you can tell him. Get him a lock for his room. He's going to do it. He probably likes the idea of being caught or almost being caught. Its a rush or a thrill. Give him a break. He's 14. You'll laugh about it when he gets a little older. He's probably humiliated but cant help himself. Just give him privacy and let him know when you'll be back to the house.

Answer 6

Well, 14 is a reasonable age to start masturbating - perhaps even a little later than most of his friends. Simply discuss it with him - that's it's natural, like eating, but also like eating, it needs to be done in moderation and with one's mouth - or, in this case, bedroom door - closed. If his masturbatory habits are getting in the way of his schoolwork, duties, or hygiene, you have the right to establish rules about it - as well as keeping the living room clean!

I think more importantly, it's a good time to discuss the objectification of women, women being seen as sex objects or mere receptacles for the penis, the problem with starting to appreciate women only for their bodies instead of their minds and personalities (he'd be missing out on the best parts!) and the importance of mutual pleasure and respect in sex - regardless of what he gets off to.

Answer 7

Talk to him and tell him that it is OK to masturbate. He just needs to do it in a private area. Don't fight the issue, because he WILL do it anyway. Also explain to him that while masturbation is OK, sex sure is not at 14. He needs to wait until he is several years older and more capable of dealing with all of the emotional and possibly physical consequences of sex.

Answer 8

there has been some good advice here.

get in a male figure he knows WELL, you have to make this person is known by your son and will be comfortable speaking to him about this.

i don’t think there is anything wrong with getting off in the lounge or any other room, but he needs to make sure about doing it at the right time.

if he knows ur home or visitors will be round he shud then whack off in his room or the bathroom!

Answer 9

Tell him to get off the couch and go to the bathroom, his own room, or the closet, etc. tell him that every time u catch him in the living room, he has to go masturbate in the street... it'l work

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Scare tactic is the best way, it was and still is my worst nightmare...
try it, it will probably work

Answer 10

Thats right! He should only do that in the bathroom or bedroom. for crying out loud, companies coming! Look at the bright side, he is not getting girls pregnant!
We could get together and show him how to do things right.