realized that I'd had sex slept with him a few years ago. Obviously my husband was going to invite him,but I said I didn't feel well and he said we could do it this weekend. I do not know what to do. I could tell him, because it was before I knew him and two years ago. Or I could suggest we elope and then no one gets invited. I don't know what to do. I just have all these thoughts going through my mind.
2006-07-24 13:51:17 · 15 answers · asked by readinginpark 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you don't say anything...uncle won't either...just let go of it
2006-07-24 13:55:43 · answer #1 · answered by waabzhkii 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You will have to face this uncle some time. Maybe at a family reunion or birthday party. How do you want the meeting to go? It may be better to see him at the wedding where there are so many different people that nothing could be said. You know your fiance. How would he take this news? Have you changed your looks since that time? Would the uncle remember your name? Chances are the uncle would be suspicious if he heard your name and wasn't invited to the wedding. I suggest waiting this one out. I would not tell fiance all my past - has he told you all of his? If anything is mentioned you could talk to the uncle in private and ask him to keep quiet. You could also explain to fiance that you had no idea that was his uncle. Good luck.
2006-07-24 21:18:23 · answer #2 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd tell him. You don't have anything to hide since this happened before you met your fiancee. It's probably better you tell him now and get it out of the way, otherwise if he finds out after the fact he might think that you were deliberately trying to hide it from him.
Even if you do elope, eventually you will be in a situation in where the three of you will be in the same room and that will be even more awkward.
So just get it out in the open and don't let this ruin your special day!!!
GOOD LUCK!
2006-07-24 21:09:42 · answer #3 · answered by PROMISCUOUS SEDUCTION 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
obviousley a persons past should not be talked about unless it effects your husband, and this is one case where he should be made aware of it. for one thing you knowing somthing that he should know and doesnt is a really bad way to start a marriage. and the other your going to marry this man and his family you will more then likely meet his uncle (again) and if your husband finds out you didnt tell him, its the same as lying. just sit him down and say hun i love you and you know im not a virgin and that i has slept with other men and hell say right and??? well when we came across your uncle soandso's picture i freaked out becuase heand i had been intiment in the past and dicuss how you feel and let him talk about his thoughts itll go over better then finding out last in the family. as im sure uncle wont keep his mouth shut for long he will bragg to someone and the rumor mill will start and your husband will find out. be blunt to the point of even if his uncle was married and you knew it. honesty is the best policy especially in the beginig of your marriage... good luck
2006-07-24 21:11:11 · answer #4 · answered by joe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Someday in the future you're going to meet the uncle anyway. You may as well figure out how to bring it out now. You might reason right now that the uncle is a nice guy and would never say anything. Things change though. Sometimes nice family members get angry about other family matters, and when people who used to be friends are not friends anymore, and how would you like something like this to come out 5 years from now under very trying circumstances.
2006-07-24 21:03:00 · answer #5 · answered by nothing 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your fiance that you think you have been with his uncle back in blah blah year, before you met him, you didn't realize they were related. Be honest up front. Trying to lie or aviod the situation is only going to cause your marraige to be started with deception. Eventually your husband will find out and will be upset that you didn't tell him yourself up front. He may decide to discuss it with his uncle before deciding on whether to invite him, he may decide to not invite him at all, all just to make you feel better. But give your future husband the information to make the decision based on what is best for you both, not manipulation by you. You may be surprised by what happens. And if your husband has a major problem with the fact that you were with his uncle before you knew him, then he is not the person you want to be with.
2006-07-24 21:01:01 · answer #6 · answered by sweets 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. Small world huh? I would just tell him. It was 2 years ago and it's obvious that you didn't know they were related or you would have realized this a while back. If you think he'll get upset about it then suggest going to elope. Say that eloping just sounds more romantic or something. I honestly think you should tell him but I know how those situations are...screwed if you do, screwed if you don't. Good luck
2006-07-24 20:56:32 · answer #7 · answered by Danielle's Mommy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a bit of a shock huh? i would be be if am on your shoe..its normally the initial reaction..but its not really something to be worried about..like u said it happened before u met him..so it's a test of your love for each other..if your fiancee loves u well, he'll understand...what a small world isnt it? ..but hey, tell him now rather than keep it and if you're not really comfortable having him on your wedding you can ask your fiancee not to invite him..unless you're not over his uncle yet? or are you? if you and you're fiancee love each other,its the least of your concern :) just tell him..get it over with..and go on with the wedding without fussing too much about the past :)
2006-07-24 21:04:00 · answer #8 · answered by just me:) 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, you need to talk to your fiancee about this situation.
It isn't wise to begin your married lives with secrets.
I can't tell you if he is going to be upset about it, though I would hope not since this happened before you two knew eachother, but imagine how much MORE he would be upset if it came out later!
Honesty is the best policy. So cliche, I know, but it is the truth!
If he DOES get upset about something that happened two years ago, before you knew him, it's time to rethink things!
2006-07-24 20:58:50 · answer #9 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont have to tell your husband about his uncle etc: if this uncle is a sleaze stay away from him just be cordial, if he is normal decent person, stay cool and keep what happened as water under bridge stay cool. Even if your fiance ask you this is something that concerns you, private issue in the past no need to focus on it.
2006-07-24 21:04:26 · answer #10 · answered by glossyart 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The truth shall set you free. Besides, you don't know when the uncle will be drunk or something and spill the beans. You'd rather have your man hear it from you than from anybody else.
2006-07-24 21:07:08 · answer #11 · answered by cuca10 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋