Please help me I am so hurt and confused?

Question

I DONT KNOW WHAT TO THINK. YESTERDAY ME AND MY HUSBAND WAS HAVING A PEACEFUL DAY AT HOME. WE WERE TALKING AND THEN THE SUBJECT OF GIVING MONEY TO WOMEN CAME UP BECAUSE HIS COUSIN IS CHEATING ON HIS GIRLFRIEND AND HE SAID THE ONLY WAY I GIVE A FEMALE MONEY IS IF WE WERE SLEEPING TOGETHER BECAUSE HIS COUSIN SAD HE NEVER SLEPT WITH THE GIRL. WE HAD A SITUTION SIMILAR TO THIS A FEW MONTHS BACK WHERE A FEMALE SAID HE WAS GIVING HER MONEY. SO I BROUGHT IT BACK UP AND IT STARTED AN ARGUEMENT SO I SAID THATS ALL IN THE PAST BUT CAN YOU DO ONE THING FOR ME PUT YOUR HAND ON THE BIBLE AND TELL ME YOU NEVER CHEATED WITH HER. I SAID KEEP IN MIND THAT IF YOU LIE WITH YOUR HAND ON THE BIBLE IT IS A SIN. I WAS STUNNED WHEN HE SAID THAT HE WASNT GOING TO DO IT. I THEN SAID FIND I HAVE MY ANSWER AND WALKED AWAY. I WENT IN THE BATHROOM AND MY HURT WAS IN MY STOMACH I WAS SO HURT AND CONFUSED I DIDNT KNOW WHAT TO DO AND STILL DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO. I HAVE NOT TALKED TO HIM SINCE LASTNIGHT. ANY ADVICE

Answer 1

Tell him that his own statement incriminates him and his refusal to discuss it prevents you from having closure on the incident so that you can move on. It leaves it there to fester and bother you until it comes up again and causes another arguement. Forget the bible part, just his refusal to look you in the eye and deny it. That by not defending himself, he is telling you that he did it, or he doesn't respect you enough to deal with the issue so that you can move on.

Answer 2

Cheating is never ok, Bin him. He is not worth that kind of physical gut wrenching pain.
You deserve better. You are woman, you are sacred.
I gave this answer last week to a woman who had discovered her husband was cheating.
Her question was: "could u turn a blind eye to your partner cheating? could u just pretend that he/she wasn't going out to meet someone else?"

This is what I told her. This is my life experience story about cheaters.

I foolishly did that with a marriage. I got an STD. I ended up with HPV, and caught cancer and almost died. I will never have another child, I will never be able to work again, I will live every day in pain for the rest of my shortened life because of the radiation and chemo treatments for the cancer. Don't turn a blind eye. You deserve better. Don't do what I did. Don't trade in your future for a false peace of mind. There is stuff out there that can kill you if your partner brings it home. Does he hate you that much?
Think about it that way and leave. You should love you, and so should he. If he is risking your life for a quick romp with some strange, he is a fool. Fools end up with nothing. Do you want to go down with him?
If you get sick, he will leave you. He is stepping out now, he definitely won't stay when he is killing you with AIDS or HPV. He won't stick around between the outbreaks of Herpes or whatever else.


I know this isn't a comfortable answer, but it is the honest one.
Good luck sweetie, whatever you choose.

Answer 3

I am sorry that the conversation turned out that way. I wish there was some good news that I could give you. Personally, I think your husband got upset about the conversation and refused to put his hand on the bible because he is guilty of something. So if you want to stay with your husband with this news, then you two need to talk, and you will have to forgive him and make your marriage work. If you are secure with being an independent woman, which most married women are not, then you should leave him.

Answer 4

It's painful to realize the truth, and you seem to know what that truth is.
Whether or not he cheated, whether or not he gave another woman money, the way that you are being treated is emotionally abusive. That in and of itself is enough to end a relationship.
Aside from that, any husband that gives away money to anyone without his wife's knowledge or consent is a bully. Unless the two of you have seperate finances and he took the money entirely out of his own fund, the money he gave away belongs to both of you to be used how the two of you see fit.
There is a long list here, sweetheart, and getting longer.
It is also likely that he did sleep with that woman and is too much of a coward to tell you. This puts you in physical danger.
Find a support system (friends and family) and figure out how to get away from this loser once and for all. You only get to live your life once. Take care to make it peaceful and happy.

Answer 5

In court they offer a person a chance to swear to tell the whole truth or to affrim to tell the whole truth. A Man's word should be just as good with the Bible as without the Bible and that is why affirmed is also offered. It is up to you to make a decision about if he did sleep with someone else and really no matter how he answered the question or did not answer you had already found him guilty. Go back to him and ask point blank with out a Bible for an answer and then go from their as to if you beleive him or not.

Answer 6

you should try talking to him again and telling him your fears, you are worried and its not your fault this is something he needs to be very honest about you don't deserve to be treated this way it is wrong
if he can not give you a straight answer to the question you have asked he has probably being lying to you and has been for quite some time, if this is right and you have been lied to then leave his dishonest soul for it is blackened with lies
you deserve better than this and nothing less you have a heart to you don't deserve it and should not have to put up with this

i am sorry you are going through this no one should have to
so good luck on what you decide and i hope it all works out for you

Answer 7

HE MAY FEEL EXTREME GUILT BECAUSE HE DID, AND HE DOESN'T WANT TO HURT YOUR FEELINGS BY ADMITING IT. HE MIGHT JUST HAVE NEEDED TO GET SOME STRANGE, AND THAT WAS IT, MAYBE HE'LL NEVER DO IT AGAIN. HE MAY FEEL LIKE IF HE SAYS IT OUTLOUD THEN HE HAS TO OWN UP TO IT AND FACE IT, DENIAL AND IGNORING IT MAY SEEM LIKE A BETTER OPTION TO HIM. SOUNDS LIKE TO ME HE REGRETS IT (to not even touch a bible).

Answer 8

I'm just a kid, but I think you should ditch the loser that cheated on you. No man that cheats on his wife is worth it...

Answer 9

Get over it or get a divorce.

Answer 10

i think you should really try to talk to him again.. it is very important to communicate. and to do it calmly.