Women don't know how to forgive and forget?

Question

I have a question for every woman in the world who can answer me this one question: Why is it thst you girls can't let anything go? Yes I f***ed up, OK I got that. But now I've apologized, I avoid situations even remotely similar, I lost most of my friends, I have no free time anymore, and the friends I have left are calling me a p**sy-whipped b**ch because of everything I have done in an effort to make amends for my mistake. But is that enough? NOOOO!!!! If only God were so kind... I still have to hear about it 2 YEARS later. Why !!? Someone tell me please!!!!

Answer 1

What?!! Can't let anything go? How sexist a statement is that? And don't even think I'll stop being offended...ever....mr. chino-guy. Long memory, have I....Written down your name so I can appease my offended feelings by writing rude comments on every question you ask from now to eternity...Bwah hah hah Hah!
(Sorry...long day and I couldn't resist.)

She is obviously insecure and does not trust you. Sounds like you want to make it work....Try counselling or talking to a minister, therapist, trusted, objective friend....Together.

Lots of books out there might help...Try the Five Love Languages by Chapman (i think). This might help explain why she can't let your mistake go as you are not speaking the same love language.

And maybe if you are having to change who you are for her so much....then you need to find someone who will love you for who you are and is willing to compromise. A relationship takes two people trying to make things work.

If you are really serious about finding an answer as to why she can't let go...then you need to examine her past relationships as well as her parent's relationships. And yes, the reason she can't forgive or forget lies with her and her insecurities although that does not absolve you of the responsiblity to work this out.

She keeps bringing it up so you can reassure her that it won't happen again and that you still love her.

Another thing to consider are the friends you have. Are most of them young single guys who like to party and pick up assorted women? And why are you letting her control all of your free time? It's called free time for a reason and she can't always live in your pocket afraid that you might make a mistake again or choose someone else.

Talk to her directly and calmly and let her know how you are feeling and make sure you listen to her concerns (yes this will be hard for you as you are a guy--listening) not just what she says but what she doesn't say as well. Let her know that you are unhappy and her clinginess, lack of confidence in your feelings for her and lack of trust is driving you away.

Far away enough that you are willing to take advice from complete strangers on the internet. Oh, and get that book.

Answer 2

That Does Not Apply To All Women..Most Women Can Learn To Frogive And Forget Depending On How Severe The Situation Was...Maybe She Is A Very Insecure Person And It Makes her Feel Better To Bring Up Things In The Past kind Of Like A Check Up..Or She Could Just Bring It Up In A Fight Or Situation As A Type Of Retaliation..Maybe She is Trying To Control You And Keep You At Bay By Holding That Against You...My Suggestion Is Have A Long Talk With Her And See What's Going...Evaluate your Situation And See If She's Right For You..If She Keeps Hold Of The Hurt And Uses It Against You...It Might Not Be Worth Trying To Save The Relationship..After All Everyone Makes Mistakes...Good Luck.

Answer 3

This Site Might Help You.

RE:
Women don't know how to forgive and forget?
I have a question for every woman in the world who can answer me this one question: Why is it thst you girls can't let anything go? Yes I f***ed up, OK I got that. But now I've apologized, I avoid situations even remotely similar, I lost most of my friends, I have no free time anymore, and...

Answer 4

we may forgive but we never forget. My husband cheated on me. He still sees his mistress (we are seperated and he lives in his own place) but If the other person (and I am assumeing that you are talking about cheating) is no longer a part of your life then she should let it go past is past. (and it might be) that trusting you again is hard for her. Try telling her your going out with the guys and you want her to trust you again so in order to rebuild this trust call her from the place you go so she can look up the number let her call you back there etc.... stuff like that. rebuilding the trust is the hardest thing. And it takes a long time. As for your friends ask yourself this which is more important to you your friends or her and your life with her? A simple matter of priorities. Hopefully you can work this out and she will forgive and learn to trust again. IF not it might be better to move on. And if she does forgive remember she will not forget.

Answer 5

It's true women have serious issues learning how to let things go - However in our defense let me tell you why I had such a hard time letting things go is because for a long time I didn't understand why I had that problem myself until I discovered that their is huge difference between loving someone and trusting someone and it's not hard to love someone but once the trust is broken it's almost impossible to calm the fear and insecurity of trusting that person again. I suggest that you sit down and have a heart to heart with your sweetheart and let them know are aware that they are having trouble trusting you as a result of something that happened in the past and you are trying to make amends but you can't prove that you are trustworthy unless she lets you otherwise their is no point in continuing on in a relationship that will never result in a trusting relationship

Answer 6

There's only so much you can do. Once you feel you've done it all to make amends, especially 2 years later it's time to just turn around and flat out say ENOUGH ALREADY. If she can't forgive and forget by now she never will. Either deal w/ it or end the relationship.

Answer 7

i dont know about the women you've met and with but this woman can forget and forgive:) dont know maybe because its the thought its your business what you want to do with your life, you take the consequences, you deal with with, and if you have to live with what you've done, then you chose it..its not that am insensitive, am a lot more than what you think..in fact am an emotional freak..but who's perfect? all of us messed up..it's a matter of how you deal with it and move on and do something good about it..well, u seem like you're doing your best to make up for what u did :) so, if those people around you cant forget and forgive, take it positively, take it as a challenge instead..make yourself a better person..rechannel your life in doing the good things, well, u might falter and fall but go up again and again adn dont make the same mistakes again..be happy with who u are and what u have..be happy..once they see you happy then maybe you might have proved them wrong after all :) it's not that easy to forgive, let alone forget :) but time heals all wounds..let time take its course :) people are entitled tpo their opinion, dont dwell on it too much..u wont get nowhere :)

Answer 8

Wow, you really hurt her, dude, but after TWO YEARS she needs to **** or get off the pot, pardon my profanity. After two years, she needs to let it go, if she wants to keep harping, she should really think about leaving.
It isn't getting better, how much longer does she need, what will it take? Ask her these questions. She may realize she has punished you long enough. She may be able to let it go.
I am a woman who actually had to go because I just couldn't get over it. It is sad to live that way for so long. She needs to get some therapy.
Two years is too long. A year at most. Even for cheating. I know it wasn't that, because that is unforgivable. Still, she needs to stop, unforgivable or not. If she has forgiven you, she needs to stop. It isn't good for her to be so unhappy.

Answer 9

What ever you did must of been a big time no no to have lost most of your friends. And what ever it was sure did upset and hurt who ever it was.. This person must care a lot about you to still be with you. I would not forgive or forget it either. If it is a big time bad thing heck no i wont forgive or forget.

Answer 10

sorry...women are hormonal...most of the time, even if it isn't your fault, a woman will make it seem like it is. Most of us CAN "forget", but a lot of men don't apologize and mean it. That's why it always seems to resurface during the heat of an argument.

My man and I get into fights. The only time I will bring something "UP" is if I catch him in a lie or if he is contridicting something that he said before.

Send her flowers, and take herto a fance restaurant....Make it like a 'first date' and start over. My man always gets me with this.