would you risk losing your wife and marriage to look at internet porn,porn mags/movies? My husband has relations with me only once a month. other than that he looks at the above and has relations with him self if you know what I mean. He has promised over and over again not to look at it but doesn't stop. I catch him at 4am on the computer looking at porn. Last time was 3 weeks ago. How can I get him to stop? How can I trust him again? Should I trust him? I am not ugly, I am thin, and look good. But why would he rather touch himself than touch me? Why can't he realize that I am insecure because of him? Are all men this way? Please no rude replys.
P.S. I do everything and anthing to make him happy!
2006-07-24 12:39:00 · 16 answers · asked by { Me } 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It sounds like you still have deep feelings for him so please dont throw it away. Ill try and help. First, masturbation is perfectly natural and married men do it quite often, probably more than single guys for whatever reason. It sounds like he looking for more rather then someone else so I seriously doubt he will cheat on you at this time. He loves you too and honors his marriage, thus the reason for internet porn, because he doesnt want anyone to know. He is not doing because of you, hes just not fulfilling his quota so this is an easy way out. No reason given here for nor trusting him. You sound like the perfect wife, the kind any guy would love to have, and continue to do so please. I suggest trying to get him into counseling/therapy to discuss his hidden desires, and if this doesnt work, then you might let this pastime run its course, which shouldnt be too long especially now that he knows you know and the secret fun is gone. Good luck
2006-07-24 12:52:32 · answer #1 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hooooooray to you JOE and the many other men who posted on this topic! It's great to see that there are men out there who don't need to look at this crap!
Go to this site for excellent advice on the ENTIRE ISSUE:
http://drphil.com/articles/article/54/
I apologize i'm not a MAN, and I'm not sure if this link is even aloud I guess if it's not yahoo will just take it down my reply. It is a good article for YOUR Question though.
Unfortunatley porn has become an epidemic because of the internet, they now have porn addicts anno. because so man men are not able to relate to " real women in the real world ". They have become addicted to the air brushed faked, perfect looking women as well as the tramps who make porn videos. Seriously think about it half the men in this country would not think twice about marrying somebody who does what ever it is thety are jerking off to, makes no sense does it.
The best you can do is realize 100% it is not you, your looks, how much you weigh or don't weigh-------------It's the new 21 st century worry that our parents, and grand parents never had to worry about
2006-07-24 15:09:15 · answer #2 · answered by sgtroboswife 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know a guy that's about to get married. He has cheated the whole time that he has been with his girl, even up to now that he is engaged. The women he cheated with all know who is fiance is, and he has put everything on front street. So everyone is aware except for his fiance. Most guys think that they are sowing their wild oats and then when they get married they will eventually stop. This is not always the case. Most people who cheat outside of marriage, cheats within marriage too. Talking to my friend I ask him to be honest and he says he just enjoys sex with other women. Its a thrill for him. But he actually thinks he will stop when he gets married. If he actually was in love with the person he is cheating with I think he would be with that person. It is possible to love two people at the same time, but you can't love them both equally. So I know that's not what it is.Honestly I think there are different reasons why people cheat. The guy you know maybe just like my friend, or he can be a sex addict and thinks marriage is gonna cure him. Or he just wants have his cake and eat it too. Some people cheat because something is lacking in their relationship. It could be numerous things on why he is cheating.
2016-03-27 05:33:55 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i agree with the answer he needs counseling. not all men do this , i dont even pick up the sport illustraded swim suite mag. becuase i love my wifeand i am not about to teach my boys how to womanize. there is so much more to women then physical apperances and when my bride is 60 and isnt firm any more (slap slap.... she just hit me) there will always be 18 year olds out there and a woman wont be able to compare so does that mean i should trade her in ? no i void myself of all other women to protect my love for her. i do think that some personal time alone is healthy for men and women unless it alters your sex love with your spouse. you should be very offended by his behavior as although he isnt cheating physically he is mentally. and when porn stops being exciting then what??? and it will once the thrill is over. kill his computer. or even put a password on so he cant use it. and as far as i beleive i would never trust him again you have no cause, if he doesnt do it for a long time, you still dont have to trust, you can and have the right to be cautiouse.. the only other thing i would suggest is stop doing what my wife used to do to me which is do every thing to make me happy, leave me with some of the load and burden to not only make myself happy but also make her happy , and im not just refering to sex... if he acts like a lil boy on the comp then treat him so password password password good luck hun
2006-07-24 13:10:56 · answer #4 · answered by joe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most likely for whatever reason he is fulfilling a need or a fantasy. Find out if he watched porn before you met and was with you. Most people during sex will say or hint or do sexual acts that meets their expectations or fantasy.It sounds like he is heavy into fantasy.Try to see what particular porn he is looking at. It could be as well many sites have gays too and you are not seeing it all.
He admits he has a problem with it, but you need to learn what particular thing is attracting him. If not your choices are either live with a husband that is cheating you by self satisfaction or leave.
2006-07-24 13:10:29 · answer #5 · answered by AJ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's addicted. It happened to me. Very tough to stop because of the instant gratification and varied pics available. It's in a man's nature to want to have sex with many different women. My ex-wife got me to stop by
a. making it clear how insecure it made her feel, and how much my viewing porn hurt her.
b. set an ultimatum that it's either you or the porn -- and mean it.
c. make him go cold turkey. If you try to act out, watch with, or ween him off -- it will never work. It's like alcohol or smoking -- all or nothing. As he succeeds, reward him with awesome, gratifying sex. If he falls off the wagon a time or two, give him multiple opportunities to quit again. But if he cannot, then carry through on point b. above.
(No, we didn't get divorced over the porn thing).
2006-07-24 13:50:40 · answer #6 · answered by Dave's Quick Notes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Internet porn is very addicting..... It is like trying to stop smoking . if he is not really cheating.... the Internet is like cheating but can be justified by not have a real affair (penetration). and it gives you excitement of doing something wrong with less consequence. so you are going to have to find a way to break him the only two ways I see that you have of doing that is change the way you are with him Try new things that are not like you (I.E. sex in a place you wouldn't normally have it, different kinda of flirting.) or go the opposite way give him ultimatum's ether change or Else,,,or take away the computer( But I am afraid he would find another way) ....it is a tough call
wish I could help more I like to see things work
Good Luck
2006-07-24 13:06:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No to your first question about the risk. You ask him why he has to look at that stuff. You don't get him to stop, you get him some help. I'm sure it's not you. All men are not this way. Just most of us.. Jk. but honestly it might be a psychological issue or a behavioral problem for him.
2006-07-24 12:54:34 · answer #8 · answered by danny c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Woah. No rudeness intended but what are you like in bed? Maybe (like a lot of men..'cause we're men) he wants all that exciting porno stuff in his life. Find out. If this isn't the problem, then he needs help for an addiction. It's too bad really, that society has gotten this way, but don't leave him until you figure it out. Maybe professionals will need to step in.
2006-07-24 12:50:08 · answer #9 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry I'm female but watch and look at the porn with him. Tell him that you want more sex. I'm sure he will be very happy if you do the porn with him...make your own porn with him.
2006-07-24 12:45:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋