Married 8 years. 2 Kids: boy 8 and girl 4. 1 step child - 14 year old daughter hates me. 1 other step-child (16 years girl) recently out of the woods. Husband had 8 month affair 1 year ago July 2004. I forgave him. Husband cheated again and brought home std back in October 2004. I Just found out about the second time 2 weeks ago. He convinced doctor and me that std was from July 2004. I am emptied and spilled out of any fight. I'm tired. I'm lost. Tell me what you think.....
2006-07-24 12:37:25 · 21 answers · asked by windthatawakens 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You need to decide whether your marriage is worth working to save.
If you decide that it is, seek marriage counseling. An eight month affair is a significant betrayal and symptomatic of other problems that need attending to. The introduction of an STD into your relationship is a significant and serious risk to your health. He needs to be willing to take specific steps to make amends and to save the marriage (rather than it being all on you). If he is unwilling to attend marriage counseling with you, then you have an even more difficult decision to make.
Be fair to yourself. No one would fault you for ending this marriage as you describe it. You deserve trust, security, and honest love.
I wish you well.
2006-07-24 12:46:43 · answer #1 · answered by oceana 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't wait for him to kill you with hepatitis or AIDS. Run, don't walk. Find any bit of self respect you have left (it is buried in you somewhere-- if you can't find it-- call a friend or family member to help you see the forest though the trees). Find a home that you can make a sanctuary for yourself and children. It does not have be grand or glamorous-- just yours. He has shown you that it was not a "mistake" that he made once and wants to atone for but instead has shown you that he just plain out disrespects you.
The longer you stay, the more empty and tired you will feel. The worse you feel, the worst your children will suffer. They need you mentally, emotionally as well as physically. I guess the question is if you have the drive to do what is necessary to put you and your children first and take care of yourself and them. I hope so.
2006-07-24 12:59:20 · answer #2 · answered by norsktjej1964 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi, ur not listening nor are u paying attention to this situation. betrayal is all grounds for parting, the thing here is that ur hubby feels u are not important enough to be honest to, he does not care or pay attention to ur feelings, u need to step out of urself and tell this man u are through will all this, take pride in urself, u are not a doormat so stop acting like one. ur lost because ur tired, ur mind cannot come up with any answer for this, why, because ur mind is on "pause", it is waiting for u to make the right decision,,as u keep waiting u become stuck on stupid, (no offense ok) tell him the okydok is over, move on , u have a right to be happy, go find that happiness, its out there,,,great luck,,,,scorpion
2006-07-24 12:56:49 · answer #3 · answered by tone284 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my gosh! I am so sorry. I think I would have to say yes, I would leave him. It may be hard to forgive the first time, no way can you forgive the second time. Don't tell your kids what he did though. That will ruin their relationship with him (like you care now) but in the long run, it would be best if they didn't know the specifics.
2006-07-24 12:51:24 · answer #4 · answered by Ask me anything! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you should leave him. He is not trustworthy. He keeps cheating on you, how much are you willing to take from this guy? Start your life over and be happy. Make a better, happier home for your children.
2006-07-24 12:40:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You put up with too much hell from this one man. Doesn't equal the benefits you may receive back.
Move on....yes, easy 2 say and hard 2 do, but really is your only option if you want a positive life.
2006-07-24 12:42:17 · answer #6 · answered by FavoredbyU 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your soon to be ex hubby is a low life piece of scum. Hopefully you will move on without him. As a child I saw my parents fuss and fight all the time. I can tell you its not a fun thing to see. Leave him!
2006-07-24 14:41:29 · answer #7 · answered by asbratcher 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Straight up. Pack your things or pack his but end this. Don't let him sit down and sweet talk you into staying around longer. It will be the same. Someone hit the road. Be smart if you have a joint checking account go and withdraw all but about 10.00 dollars and bye bye.
2006-07-24 12:54:05 · answer #8 · answered by xeson1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have left at the on start of his cheating. He did not care if he lost you or not. He has no respect for you or the kids. Get out now.
2006-07-24 12:48:37 · answer #9 · answered by HONEY 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry you have wasted 8 years on a piece of $hit..get over your fear of being alone and get out! your teaching your children that's its OK to get $hit on time and time again..do you really want to raise them to be weak?do you really believe that you are not good enough to be respected?.if not for yourself than do it for your children..std's kill these days and you cant take the risk of satisfying his needs over your own,and your children..there is help and your not alone..save you sanity and let him rot for what he's done..
2006-07-24 13:11:27 · answer #10 · answered by SHONI L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋