We dated 15 years ago, when we were only kids. We are both happily married now, but we never forgot each other. We have been e-mailing constantly for about a month and a half now about 3 times a day, but my wife hates it. We don't talk about anything bad, just what we are up to now, and a few memories when we dated. My wife hates it and says it is excessive. I really don't feel I am doing anything wrong. What should I do?
2006-07-24 12:19:45 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She lives 1400 miles away, so there is no way of "meeting up". Nothing physical can come out of this in any way, not that I would want it to.
2006-07-24 12:26:39 · update #1
I have let my wife read each e-mail and go over it with a fine toothed comb. Mostly I talk about her, and how great she is, but she doesn't seem to read those parts, only the parts where we talk about some stupid stuff we did as kids.
2006-07-24 12:30:10 · update #2
Put yourself in her shoes, if she was doing the same how would you feel? Be honest about it too. You would not like it one bit. If she is unhappy then you should stop because you said it yourself you had not forgotten the old love.
2006-07-24 12:23:54 · answer #1 · answered by dollynjanie 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I put one another's feeling first, even if they seem unreasonable at the moment. There will come a time you are going to wish your wife wouldn't do something (mushrooms in the sauce? Going out with the girls instead of staying home with you?) you with think your request is reasonable, and she wont. If you insist on keeping in touch with a person when it is nothing to you and hurting your wife, she will definately think its something. I'm sure this great friend is not worth losing a great wife. She may not walk out over emails, but a barrier will go up between you because trust will be lost. ALl she can see is that this girl is so great that you write her three notes a day, and ignore how much its hurting your beloved.
2006-07-25 03:15:36 · answer #2 · answered by Jessi B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow - you are really immature, selfish and naive. Too bad you are married with a wife that depends on you to be a man and with children who are completely dependent on you to provide and maintain a happy home.
Being in contact AT ALL with anyone that makes your wife uncomfortable is bad enough -- emailing three times a day is ridiculous. What does that say about you that you would force this issue and take attention away from your family to create this drama -- and then THIS is the issue you take more time to explore here? (not questions about how to improve your kids' lives or better connect with your wife...)
Get your act together and start acting like a respectable man who deserves a wife and children, notlike a spoiled brat who wants to indulge in the fantasy of yesterday and is forcing this lover from the PAST into his current family TODAY.
2006-07-25 13:36:59 · answer #3 · answered by Finnale 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you want to continue to stay happily married to your wife? She is feeling very insecure right about now in that you are trying to replace her and are going to run off with your ex-lover. Make her feel secure by telling her you love her and let her read through your corrospondance with your ex since there is nothing to hide. That puts everything out in the open and will make your wife feel more secure.
2006-07-24 19:26:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Uhm... i can somewhat understand you don't think you are doing anything wrong. But i can understand your wife too. You wouldn't be the first one ending up in a divorce because of chat.
Just find out for yourself if it is worth it. Do you love your wife? If it is upsetting her this much then you just have to think if it is worth it.
Okay, have to say I'm talking from my own experience of course. But i wouldn't like it either and it did cost me my marriage....
So think about the consequences and if its really worth upsetting your wife like this. Its obviously hurting her. Do you want that?
All i can say, do what u feel is right. Good luck!
2006-07-24 19:33:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen to your wife.Three times a day is a bit much.How would you feel if your wife did it?Next,thing you know she will want to meet up with you.I said listen to your wife to keep down any confusion that may occur.
2006-07-24 19:25:29 · answer #6 · answered by missmadhatter 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let sleeping dogs lie. I would not risk a single moment to cause hurt or insecurity towards my mate. It is just not worth it. I would lighten up on the email marathon you've got going. Let it go.
2006-07-24 19:43:47 · answer #7 · answered by windthatawakens 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest respecting your wife's feelings. Maybe limit your e-mailing down to once a day.
2006-07-24 19:25:33 · answer #8 · answered by Lisette F 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont think its wrong, but talking to much might upset her, and make her head work over time, thinking that you guys will meet and get back together, i mean after both got a divorced though.
2006-07-24 19:26:19 · answer #9 · answered by ~*Jenny*~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ur not doin anything wrong..you are juss catching up on things
2006-07-24 19:23:15 · answer #10 · answered by Pam 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋