Please rate my poem 1-10?

Question

Please be honest

(Untitled)

Trapped within the walls of fear,

into the darkness she peers.

She looks for one last bit of hope,

but with the pain,

she cannot cope.

Her confidence grows thin,

feels like the hard work has never been.

The tears run down her face,

all faliure falls in place.

She falls to her knees and begins to pray,

the walls slowly fall,

the sun embraces her to a brighter day.

I want to change the very last line to.

"for fear is not to stay."

She opened her eyes,

to another side,

now the drakness is the one to hide.

Answer 1

Loved it, loved it!! Except I think I would change the last sentence. I'm not sure to what, but when you're reading the poem, and the walls slowly fall, you wouldn't expect the next line to be the sun embraces. I don't know, it just didn't seem to fit right. Otherwise, excellent!!

Answer 2

10

Answer 3

10

Answer 4

10

Answer 5

8

Answer 6

8

Answer 7

9

Answer 8

9

Answer 9

Well, it's pretty good. I give it a 10! But here are a few things you might change:

all failure falls into place.

She drops to her knees and begins to pray, (or "her knees weaken; prayers she mumbles")

the walls around her crack and tumble, (I changed a few words because you had the word "fall" 3 times in 3 lines)

for fear is not to stay. (or "for fear has found its end today")

Just a few ideas. I could ponder on this all night! Thanks for sharing your poem with us.

Answer 10

"feels like the hard work has never been" seems out of sync

not sure about "the walls slowly fall" but I think I know what you're trying for.

I think this is a sad poem and written with a lot of feeling. I think you deserve an 8 easily. Keep writing!