Why do women leave good men?

Question

Ok, this isn't about how great I think I am, because I'm not like that, but it relates to the question so..I am a good looking man, I'm fit, I'm financially stable, I'm considerate, romantic, faithful, honest,etc. I was everything I could possibly be to my wife. I worked hard to make her happy. 6 months ago she comes to me after 3 years of marriage and says she's not happy and she wants out. There is no other man, our sex life was fantastic. She said it isn't me, it's her..which I tend to believe because I don't know what else I could have done to be a better husband. She didn't want to work on things, she just wanted out. She is single now, hasn't been on a single date and says she doesn't want to. She says she's happier now and plans to remain single for a long time. I don't know, I feel sorry for her..I know I just have to let it go and move on.

Answer 1

I think a lot of people believe that no matter how good you have it, there is always something out there that is better. It's ironic how some women leave a perfectly good man, and others spend their entire life looking for one!
Don't beat yourself up trying to figure out the answer to this, or trying to understand if you really could have done something different, because I think your wife told you the truth when she said it wasn't you, it was her. No matter what her reasons are for doing this, it doesn't sound as if chased her away. I have been in relationships with really good men, but it still felt like something was missing. Not because of anything they necessarily done, but just because I knew there was something I should have been feeling that I wasn't. When i met my husband, it was different. We have been together for nine years, and I'm still crazy in love with him.
He's actually a perfect example of a women leaving when she has a good man. I swear I'm not just saying this because he is my husband, but he is the kind of man women dream about finding! He's very nice looking, smart, educated, funny, and an outstanding husband and father...I could go on! But his ex-wife walked out on him. She later realized what a mistake she had made and tried to split us up, but it didn't work. The guy she is married to now is lazy, he has been known to gamble the child support away that my husband sends for his kids. He's made his feelings very clear on the kids, he tolerates them only because he's married to their mother. (This is stuff she has told my husband, as well as other people in the family! I would be to embarrassed to admit any of this) But she went from one extreme to another!
You're going to find someone that sees how much you have to offer, and you're going to be happier then you thought you could ever possibly be. Good Luck!

Answer 2

Why Women Leave Good Men

Answer 3

Well, us women are crazy. One minute we know what we want the next minute we don't. Our friends often contribute to this. Especially the unmarried ones. I am sure your ex wife loves you but do you really think she is going to tell you she is going on dates? She knows how much you are hurting and it seems yal left on good terms. She wont tell you because she doesn't want to hurt you.
I am a woman and I don't understand myself sometimes. There is no real reason for anything we do. We are unpredictable. I have never heard of anyone leaving anyone without there being some problem in the relationship. Please don't get me wrong I don't mean anything by that. I just mean there is something floating around that she fails to admit to. We women are that way. We tell men only what they need to hear and nothing more. Moving on is not easy. Take as long as you need to heal. People say JUST GET OVER IT. It's not that easy. You need to have that healing time in order to go on without looking back or bringing the past in the present. I wish you all the luck. God Bless you both.

Answer 4

I feel for you. That is such a sad situation.

Unfortunately, men and women are being told that marriage is not needed and is like jail. People start to feel claustrophobic. There may not be anything "wrong" other than the fact that you have bonded yourself to another individual for the rest of your life. What God intended to be the ultimate blessing has become like a "death sentence".

I hope that your wife some day realizes how foolish she was. Even though EVERYONE has issues and problems dealing with a spouse, its usually nothing that some counseling and work cant fix.

That being said, before you move on, I suggest that you give yourself some time to grieve what you have lost.

Good luck to you!

Answer 5

Sexual intimacy between a husband and wife who truly love each other is the deepest expression of their love. It is a time when they allow themselves to be most vulnerable physically, emotionally and spiritually. When a couple marries and promises to commit to each other they have agreed to forsake all others. When this trust has been violated because of marital infidelity it is like being emotionally raped. The trust has been destroyed. The emotional hurt and pain are sometimes too much for one to bear even after trying to reconcile and patch things up. This is why the person who has been cheated on will often leave the marriage whether there are children involved or not. Fortunately, there are many situations where the marriage has been restored and the marriage remains intact. This takes a lot of work for both husband and wife. Unfaithfulness within marriage can be forgiven and the trust can be restored.

Answer 6

that sounds like the saddenst thing in the world u sound like u were a great husband by the sounds of it, and i have no idea what the hell she was thinking but ur right u have to move on, because someone that can walk away from 3 yrs like its nothing without trying to work it out has serious issues, and im really sorry this happened to u but girls are sometimes stupid and get scared when they meet a nice guy, the other day i was thinking why do men love women more if they are bitc*** and are like oh honey can i get u this that blah blah but when they have a good woman they dont care and take it for granted life sucks when that happens TRUST ME... just move on and one day u will find that person that will see and understand how great she was it and that no matter what u can always at least try to work things out

Answer 7

derek, i know the feeling. my ex wife and i split after 6 years and i was dutiful was home when i said i didnt drink heavey and i was supportive to everything i thought marriage was about. to this day i dont think i could have done anything wrong enough in this marriage to warrant a divorce, what i did learn later after marrying the woman i am with and love so dearly is that women are now being taught to rely on feelings not commitment. society says if your not feeling like somthing you dont have to do it and so goes the idea of marriage out the window and same thing when children are involved. im not actually knowing your exwifes age before you married her i will guesse though at below 30 as it seems to be a trend that the younger a woman, is the less commitment they seem to have till they mature and reach their peak. i was raised the old fashion way thinking you make a promise for better or worse then you stand by your word.thankfully i trust my present wife knowing her background and her fathers raising her the way he did, my wife is as commited as i am. " a real man does what is right even if it not fun" as my grandfather would say and it takes more then boobs to make a woman a real lady..... like i said i feel for ya and i wish you the best of luck becuase their is a real lady wanting a real man in her life out there.

Answer 8

First, you shouldn't feel sorry for her; if you love her, feel happy that she's happy. There are thousands of people out there that make money, pay the bills, like sex, but that doesn't mean you want to have a life with all those people. Sure, those things are necessary for a relationship, but they're not sufficient. Tons of relationships end even though nobody abused the other or spent all the money. The longer you spend time worrying about it the less time you'll have to live your own life.

Answer 9

Don't sweat it.

Some people need drama in their lives to feel alive. It's like they need something to complain about. Some women would call you "boring" for being the way you are. I suspect your ex-wife was one of these people.

She had no struggle, no obstacle to overcome. In essence, you two reached your goal in life and there was nothing move on to. Nothing to propel your relationship forward (in her mind).

Now, being divorced, she has something to complain about. She now has the one thing that she didn't have with you.

The only thing you can do is move on and find someone with whom you can build a solid 2-way relationship with. Someone who is comfortable concentrating on the good things in your lives rather than what is wrong, or what could be wrong, or what could be changed.

By the way, this is not your fault.

Answer 10

i think ur right.. it is her. if it was you, she would have tried to communicate w/ u and fix something. also, u don't really mention that she did everything possible for u..sounds like u kept trying and trying to do and be all for her w/o demanding it back, but still expecting her to appreciate it; it doesn't work that way. u need to be w/ someone that you can Trust will appreciate and love u and work just as hard as you. its possible she married u because u were an "ideal" husband.. but maybe u just weren't right for each other. she probably needs to find something within herself to be happy, and it is very sad that it cannot include u at this time. ultimately u have to let her go.. not because u don't love her, but because you DO: let her search and find what she needs to make her happy, whether its to be alone, date, or marry someone else. its possible she is also doing it for you too, and she had to let you go so that You could find someone who Won't leave you. please, don't give up and continue searching. keep up the great work u are doing in taking care of urself, ur mind body and soul, and u will attract many women. that's not the problem.. u have to find the one who is good for you, and you are good for. someone u can grow with, thank God for everyday, and can work through any and every problem together. she just wasn't the one, and it's ok..... seek and you will find.. it's better to find someone who wants and accepts all of you, just as you have and will do for ur future soul mate.