I miscarried the acidental pregnancy, I was upset I was pregnant, but am now upset I miscarried?

Question

I miscarried at 13 weeks the acidental pregnancy with my boyfriend of 2+ years. I was upset to be pregnant because I wasnt married (but yes I knew sex could lead to pregancy). Now 1 week has passed since the miscarriage blood has stopped bleeding...and Im sad. I find myself wishing I was still pregnant and didnt lose the baby. I wouldnt deliberatly get pregnant again (just because Im not married...yes my mind has mixed up from the religious beliefs jammed into my head growing up and the worldly beliefs I now believe) but I really want a baby now....but Im not married...my man was supper happy to be pregnant, but now the baby is lost, he says he wants to wait for a baby....I dont really know what the question is here...some advice, maybe someone can help me clear my own thoughts....ps Im 24yrs old, so not real young either

Answer 1

some people say that a miscarriage happens because it's god's way of flushing a bad pregnancy.
the actual medical reasons are endless and it doesn't mean you won't conceive.
the reason why you are wanting another baby is natural, completely natural, as much as it was unplanned, you still went thorugh a loss, which means grieving, you might have only been 13 weeks, but your maternal instincts were in place, and that's totally natural too.
it will take some time, and kudos to your bf for being supportive, with him wanting to wait, he's looking out for your best interest, and not putting pressure on you, or make you feel like it was your fault...you got a sweetie there.
wait until you are both ready, sit and talk, that's the only way you'll get through it, keep communicating.
you will know when the time is right, even if you aren't married, you sure as heck wouldn't be the first,lol
relax and enjoy the time you have with your bf,look to friends for emotional support as well as your bf.
good luck, and keep smiling :D

Answer 2

Well, I was 17 when I got pregnant with my first child. It's hard to know that you're life is going to change drastically when you're not particularly ready for it. Although I was young and not completely ready I too got really excited about the baby. I carried my baby till term and this Sept he'll be 4. Ready or not I did it and it's been great. So I think it's normal to feel that way. You start to get used to the idea of this little baby being in your life and when you miscarry it's devastating. What you're feeling, I feel is completely normal. Don't rush into having another baby because you're feeling sad about the lose of this one. If it was meant to be it would be. You'll eventually start to feel better and once you're married you can really plan for a baby and it will be that much better. So sorry for your lose and hope it all works out for you. Best of luck!

Answer 3

It is probably the hormones and the shock for the feelings about really wanting a baby so soon, but I think it is normal for you to feel sad about the miscarriage of your unwanted pregnancy. You have already committed to it and your future child in your heart. So though, the pregnancy was initially unwanted, it became wanted even if you consciously didn't know it. At least this is what it sounds like to me, but I'm not an expert. It hasn't been long since you miscarried, you don't clearly have to understand your feelings.

I would try to go see a grief counselor, maybe someone who has dealt with miscarriages before. Good luck, and I am sorry for your loss.

Answer 4

Whether or not you were ready for a baby, you had a live growing inside of you, and you felt your body changing. That is a big deal. I wanted my pregnancies, and then I wanted them to hurry up and come out. Once my body had recovered, I wished I was pregnant again. You know the feeling of life inside, and it hurts to lose that feeling inside, without a life in your arms to continue to nurture and help grow.

You also might still be feeling the hormones in your body going nuts, depending on how long it has been since the miscarraige. Just sit back, try to relax, let your body continue to heal, and know that when you are ready to have a family, you can actually plan for a baby. If you don't feel better soon, ask your doctor about post partum depression, and counceling and support groups for miscarraiges. Heck, ask about the support groups now, even if you do feel better soon.

Answer 5

You was pregnant long enough to start dreaming of your baby, whether it was accidental or not and to all of a sudden have that dream altered is hard to deal with, especially if you want children some day, as that baby was growing inside of you and you probably had already accepted the idea of having the baby. Miscarraige is never easy, and neither are all the emotions you will be feeling for awhile. Focus on what it will be like once you get married and the timing is right to have a baby.

Hugs

Answer 6

It's perfectly normal to feel sad because you've lost a baby. Even though it was an accidental pregnancy, you still had a life growing within you and that made all those extra hormones kick in and now all of a sudden, poof! they're gone. It's a big let down! You're probably feeling very emotional right now and I think the best thing to do would be to wait awhile before making any kind of decision. Best wishes to you.

Answer 7

It's your hormones sweetie. That's why you're all over the place. However upset you were about being pregnant, you were getting used to the idea, and now it's all over!
Don't try to get pregnant again just yet. Take some time out, try to relax and eat well so your body can recover. Talk it through with your man, or anyone else you can trust with your feelings
After a few months maybe you can talk about making a baby on purpose - but not before you are both ready. Take care, and all the best.

Answer 8

Well, it's normal that you got pregnant and didn't want the baby and it's also normal that you felt sad after you miscarried. Just because you didn't want to be pregnant doesn't mean you can't feel sad that you lost your baby. Also, please never call any child an accident...how about a suprise?

Answer 9

miscarriages are a body's way of telling you something was not right with the pregnancy to begin with . . sadness over the loss is always felt . . remember, you now have an angel in heaven so you still "have" your little one . . your pain will heal and there will be more children I am sure

Answer 10

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