how do deal with the TEMPTATION to cheat (even though i havent) - but what do i do? seek serious replies only

Question

As a male im curious if all men have the innate tendancy to stray? (even if they dont physically 'cheat', and everythign is going well, including sex life, in thier current relationship) are some men more temped to stray than others? - and those that are tempted - how do they deal with thier temptation in regards to this area? How do you approach your mate with this issue (temptation).


for instance:

Im a male (never cheated) and am in a really happy relationship (at least to my conscious knowledge) with my GF, but I get these terrible urges sometimes. Am hoping to find out how to address them, and how to tell my GF i have these urges to be with other women without making her feel like it was something she did wrong. I feel like i was just meant to be with more than 1 person. I dont know what I should do, I love my GF, and am seeking advice, and curious if others feel the same way (male or female). What do I do?

i must add that im not temped by any particular person. Nor am i tempted due to the behavior of my mate. It just seems like there is some hole that can never be filled. I have sex at least once everyday, but still im not satisfied - dont think its my gf but somehting wrong with me. Want to talk about it with GF but think she may take it personally - or perhaps grow to distrust me. im just scared that one day might not be able to control myself.

Answer 1

There are two types of temptation.

i - the harmless kind
For example, my wife and I were driving along and she asked me something and I didn't hear a damn word she said because I was eyeing this pretty young lady standing at a bus stop. So I said to my wife, "Hon, I didn't hear a damn word you said because I was eyeing this pretty young lady standing at the bus stop." And she replied, "Lookings free."

So, if you admire women as I do, you can't help but notice that God has bestowed a bounty of beautiful women upon this earth and for this, we should all give thanks.

ii - Type Two Temptation
At the office, there was this receptionist, and she was great looking. She really liked to be a bit flirtatious and, honestly, I'm a bit of a flirt, too. We got along well.

Anyways, I was smart enough to recognize this, and kind of stepped away from all the flirtin' and stuff. I guess she caught on, because our relationship became just 'plain' friendly, not 'flirtatious' friendly.

But, man, it is a slippery slope you are on when you are flirting with another woman. It's not worth it.

My boss once asked me if I knew why there were so many January divorces. She said it's because people drink at the office Christmas party, inhibitions are lowered, and folks follow through on all the flirting they've done throughtout the previous months. (I don't think the message was specifically for me, but I could be mistaken.)

Anyways, yes, peer through the window of the candy store. Look at all the lovely peppermints, butterscotch drops and lollipops. But, for God's sake, don't actually enter the store.

Lookings fine - but don't flirt with specific girls - it'll come back and bite you in the @ss !!!

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Based on your additional information, you are okay. When I look back to the happy days when my wife and I had sex on a daily basis, I'd still see others and think about it. It's just the wonderful way that God has made us.

Good luck!

Answer 2

Finding the other sex attractive is normal, but having the ability to resist those urges is what is supposed to separate us from the animals.
If I am with someone I usually do not even think of cheating unless there is a problem I have tried to address with my partner & they have continued to disregard my concerns. Wanting to cheat is a sign that there is something wrong with the current relationship. If you love someone you do not cheat. The best thing to do is avoid situations that are leading to these temptations.

Answer 3

It's not just men, honey. First of all, unless you want to ruin your relationship, then never ever ever tell your g/f that you have these urges. She will NOT understand. Second, just because you are tempted doesn't mean you have to follow through. Third, if you do give in to temptation, keep your mouth shut, unless, again, you are looking to end your relationship. Your guilty unburdening of conscience is only selfish and hurtful to her. If she doesn't know, there's no need to tell her. Best bet is to not give in to temptation and if you really feel you were meant to play around, you should get and stay single.

Answer 4

If you really love your girlfriend then you won't cheat and will find your own way to resist the temptation. You don't hurt the person you love, and that will hurt your girlfriend. Be smart and know your boundaries....don't do something you will regret......but if you feel you should be with more than one person......be in a non-exclusive open relationship where you guys can date other people....but set limits and stuff....talk about the other person/people......and then when all the temptation is over and you don't feel it then be with the one you truly love and won't cheat on....Good luck:)

Answer 5

If you want the relationship then be FAITHFUL-my first X husband thought he could cheat and get away with it-but hey I knew-he was not that good in bed able to satisfy us both and I kept my eyes open and well I've learned that a woman should always keep her husband on a leash-especially when they act like a DOG!! there you go-deal with IT!! You better be scared that you will lose her if you fall to temptation!! Talk it out with her-that would be better then you becoming a habitual liar!!

Answer 6

For starters, when you feel the temptation, GET AWAY FROM IT! When you find yourself in a tempting place, it's not wise to stay, unless you aim to give in. Don't you know that men are weak when it comes to sex? You have to make the decision BEFORE you face temptation, and you should train your thoughts to not follow through.

There is a simple way to success, to avert your eyes when you see something arousing and press it from your thoughts.

Anything else is flirting with disaster.

Answer 7

Everyone has urges to stray,--- evolution made you that way, -- to spread your seed to as many females who would hold still long enough for a man to impregnate them. It's normal. It is the man with class, decorum, honor and moral fiber who refrains from screwing everything he can. It is called being human, rather than being an animal. Fantasies are free. But you'll loose a nice lady if she finds out you have cheated, and well she should dump you..... You don't know how good you have it if you have a lovely lady in love with you, pal.......

Answer 8

If you are happy in your relationship and you do not cheat don't tell the girlfriend about it as she could think that you are not serious. We always think the grass is greener on the other side until we get to the otherside. Your age has alot to do with it, as you mature you will still look at other women. However if you are content in your current relationship don't upset the apple cart.. Good luck

Answer 9

Just my thoughts, but if you love your g/f and are committed to her, then why would you even think about cheating? Maybe you need to be single and do what you want with whoever you want. Maybe men just think differently, but I've never thought of cheating on my man. I love him, I love being with him, we are so great together..why would I want anything else? If you want something else, or think you want something else, leave the relationship before you really hurt her, and live a single life.

Answer 10

You shouldn't be with one person. You should break away from the girlfriend and stick to dating. Then you can do it with whoever you want and not hurt anyone. If you tell your g/f about the cheating thing, she will be very hurt.