my wife told me today that sometimes she wishes she never walked down the aisle with me. she has also told me?

Question

on two separate occasions during arguments that maybe we should just break it off. how screwed am i? what are my chances of winding up in divorce court? does this type of talk always mean you are headed to divorce court?

Answer 1

No, she could be just having a bad day and taking it out on u .. or she could be depressed, or PMSing it could be for alot of reasons sometimes when people are mad they will say things they dont actually really mean, although i would tell her that she needs to not threaten something so major unless she plans on going through with it.. dont let her mentally mess with u by scaring u each time she threatens to do it.. most if they really want out , its not a threat its an "its over" and either u or her are out the door..

Answer 2

I do not think that it means your marriage is over, but just that some points need to be discussed.
She may have been really upset when she said that.
However, do not ignore this and do try to bring it back in a quieter time. Tell her that you are worried about what she said. There must be a reason.
(The time my husband said to my son, "stop acting this way, it will be your fault if daddy and mummy get a divorce -Yes, he did say such thing out of the blue-, well he was actually in the middle of an affair that may signal the end of our marriage).
So, in summary, do not ignore it but do not assume the end is now.
Good luck

Answer 3

Why don't you ask your wife? Not in an argumentative type of way, but to give her a chance to speak her mind honestly. (Be prepared for the worst, tho.)

She may simply be the type who says things in an argument just to hurt the other person. And what's more hurtful than to say she wishes to have never gotten married to you? IMO, that's still doesn't make it right to say it, even if you don't really mean it. It can certainly harm a relationship in the long run.

Answer 4

JOHNT.... As much as I hate to admit it, in the recent past I have told my husband those same things and worse. I don't know either of you or your situation as far as in the home goes but from my experience I know it was of pure frustration. Sometimes I feel trapped, or overly exerted from daily demands and marriage that it seems when we are arguing I feel that I need to hurt him to make myself feel better in reality it's not how I truly feel yet it's hard for me to talk about my feelings so as I'm hurting I want him to feel my hurt too. I'm not saying this is what she's doing yet it could be possible and I don't think it will end in divorce but I do think you two need to discuss and maybe bring this to her attention she might not even be aware she is truly hurting you by saying these things and most likely she does realise but believe me she feels so bad when she does say these things but doesn't know how to apologize. TALK, TALK & TLK some more and let her know how you're feeling when she says these things good luck. God Bless with Luv and I apologize for her behavior.Even if she can't find it to ask for your forgiveness.

Answer 5

whoa, that she has thinking about it so long. Ask her do you really want to end it or do you want to try get help? Asked her what made her think that? Is there something that you seeing someone and you try make me divorce you? if you are seeing someone tell me now and be honest. I will not get mad, I will be disappointed by not giving me a change to save my marriage.

See what happen and If she means it then yeah you are headed to divorce court. but find out more before, don't get in arguments even if you going to be upset you want to see what it about and find out to see if you can save your marriage.

Answer 6

From personal experience, I don't think it necessarily means divorce. Maybe she's frustruated and just doesn't know how to communicate better and she lashes out with you. There is something else she might not be telling you. If you've tried talking to her and still it doesn't help, give her a lil' bit of space. Sometimes that helps and hopefully she's come around to you when she's ready to talk.

Answer 7

How hurtful and painful. In a calm moment, when you are not fighting, you need to talk to your wife about how hurtful and destructive her words are. Ask her if she is really thinking about divorcing you. Tell her that to have any security in your marriage, you need to have splitting up taken off the table as an option. Ask her if there is anything she needs from you to make that happen. Consider going to a marriage counselor and learning how to "fight fair."

Answer 8

If you have kids, you're screwed. Obviously there are reasons for these admissions of regret - have you tried to find out what they might be?

Maybe the kids are just overwhelming (if you have them) her. Maybe she thinks you're not doing enough for her or the relationship.

You guys need to communicate better. And you also need to communicate to her that these threats of divorce bother you and they certainly arent' constructive.

If you find you can't talk rationally together, you may need a neutral third party (therapist, minister/pastor/priest/rabbi/imam, mutual and trusted friend) to act as a mediator.

Answer 9

THats how I started and now I'm in the middle of a divorce. I can tell you this. When it all came out, he said if he had known how deeply I was hurting, he never would have let it get here. Find out why and do something now before she has no feeling left in her.

Answer 10

Seems like you're doing something to really piss off the wife, Dude. You guys need counseling or you're headed for the divorce court.