My husband's ex left 7 yrs.ago leaving her 2 children behind,I have been raising the kids since then,taking them to school and doing everthing that a mother does.Last November out of the blue she came back to the picture.Since then she got involved The children started having difficulty in having her arround but we did not had any choice but to let her visit with them.When school end it They had to go with her, the 7 1/2 Yr.Old started to act out and end up getting phisically abused by her,the husband and other relatives .Now he end up in the psychicatric hospital.I been his mother all these years. Any advise .
2006-07-24 09:15:53 · 22 answers · asked by VIANNEY 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
We never said anything bad about the mother ,We tried to have the kids to understand her but that backfired on us.CPS has been contacted by all of the doctors .
2006-07-24 09:40:34 · update #1
unfortunetly no matter what you ever do...you can never take the place of those children's mother...if you want to help those children...NEVER talk bad about their mother...NO MATTER WHAT SHE EVER DID...it is extremely important for children to know and feel that their parents love them...it is confusing for children to hear bad things about their mother or father...and sometimes we have to find out for ourselves whether or not a parent is good or bad...i am so sorry that your son had to experience that at such a tender age...but it will be something he remembers...and he can base his own decisions about how he feels about his mother because of it...my x husband was very abusive towards our son for the first 11 years of his life...in 2003 he died of a drug overdose...(my x)...my youngest daughter was only 4 at the time...she hadn't formed any real opinions about her father yet...she is almost 9 now...and she cries because she misses her daddy...even though he was abusive to my son and to me...i NEVER utter a bad word about him...i tell all of my children that their father loved them deeply...that he never meant to hurt them...that he had problems that never got resolved...and that sometimes people are just lost...now is the time that you should be focusing on that little boy that needs comforting...he is grieving...he needs someone to explain to him why...and even if you do not have all the answers...do your best...tell him that his mother loves him...but that she is not well...don't be selfish and try to take all the credit for his happiness...don't do that to the child...because even if he was abused...a bond between a mother and her child cannot be broken...and NO ONE should ever try to sever it...please think about things rationally
2006-07-24 09:28:24 · answer #1 · answered by Just Me 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Parents are supposed to do what ever is in the best interest of the children.
You and your husband need to sit down and have a talk, about what the two of you are willing to do for those children. If one or all of them are getting phisically abused, emotionally abused then the two of you need to take this to a court house and see a judge, if any of the parents won't do what is in the best interest for those children then the judge certainly will. that is their job.
Then the biological mother may get visitation, but it could also be supervised and so on.
If all of you adults can't have a sit down and be on the same page as to what is the best interest of the children and be willing and able to work together to get this done, then someone needs to call it in and have a case worker check in on the children.
No child deserves to be abused in any manner.....If children can't stand up for themselves and the parents and adults involved won't then who will.
Honestly Ask yourself If you have been their mother all these years then why haven't you done something about this..and by the way it is never too late, get a lawyer and get things going for the sake of the child/children.
2006-07-24 09:23:44 · answer #2 · answered by Not a Daddys Girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The courts and custody battles are the most insane places on the planet. I suppose, the only thing you can do it let the kids go, since she will probably get 50% custody no matter how screwed up she is.
Even with a G.A.L., guardian ad litem, she will still probably get some custody. It is a long drawn out senseless battle that seems to go no-where. The kids will suffer no matter what. Under these circumstances, you probably have a better than average chance of adopting the kids or getting majority custody. But like I said, no matter how right you are, you have to prove it all over again to the sh*tbag court system.
2006-07-24 09:25:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
From my experence, I have three children whom live with thier father, being a mother, iI keep close contact with my children at all times, no matter what! if she had not done so, and shows up out of the blue, with no previous contact, then strikes out in abuse, take her to court and try to get her rights taken from her. A mother has rights, yes, but not the right to leave, stay gone with no contact, then come back to be abusive. Or at the very least, if she is going to see the children have the courts order theropy for her.
2006-07-24 09:45:17 · answer #4 · answered by irishkiten 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Counseling is probably going to be a must for your situation since you are dealing with children. Have you tried to talk to your husband about this? I would suggest taking her out of the picture until CPS cleared out and then I would look into a lawyer. If you have to set her up on superivsed visitiation if she has to have it. If the kids are old enough to remember that she walked and left them they would have a hard time trying to take her back in. I would suggest contacting a lawyer and seeing what rights the two of you have and then make your move.
2006-07-24 10:14:42 · answer #5 · answered by busyliz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well seeing as how it turned out do whatever you have to do to make sure she doesn't get to see them again. After what happened you should have no problem getting her right to visit them at least cut down to supervised visits. She abandoned them for 7 years that has to carry some implications legally speaking. She wouldn't spend another second with them unless it was court ordered thats for sure. The kids probably need some serious counselling to deal with all of this. Good luck to you all!
2006-07-24 09:20:12 · answer #6 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get the courts involved, they will do something about this biological mother to keep her from physically and mentally abusing your children. Call a lawyer or go to the police and they can be the ones to put charges on her. Good Luck.
2006-07-24 09:20:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seeing her kids, no quetion about that, she has the as a mother of the kids but abusing them after leaving them that's a big story. Go to child abuse center and report it. Explain everythign you know, maybe this can help and she will be stopped to see her kids and even pay the punishment.
talk to your husband to, he can help since he is the father.
2006-07-24 09:23:03 · answer #8 · answered by princess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the best way to get rid of her is through the court system...in fact that may be the only way. If you think she is a danger to the children then SAY so to a lawyer and get her visitation rights taken away.
2006-07-24 09:18:55 · answer #9 · answered by kari 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
.22 caliber hollow-tip bullet. Get some rat poison, run it through a coffee filter a couple times. Crystalize whats left behind in a frying pan, Fill the hollow tip, cover with candle wax. Viola! you have yourself an untraceable murder weapon. .22 cals cannot be traced back to the gun they are fired from.
Good luck! let me know if you need some help.
2006-07-24 09:20:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋