she is very rapidly going down the tubes with alcohol, and trying everything she can to take the rest of us with her.She has 3 kids (14,10 & 7)
all of them are on meds for adhd......... i need to distance myself from her, but dont want to hurt her feelings. She goes on a binge on Friday night, and doesnt come home untill Sunday late afternoon. ( She does have a live in boyfriend so the kids arent left alone) I dont know how he can put up with it. What can I do to end the friendship, or is that wrong ?? I feel like I am deserting her, but really cant deal with it anymore . Any ideas ?? Thanks
2006-07-24 08:35:51 · 27 answers · asked by ROSIE 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
REPORTED!!
2006-07-24 08:36:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's so unhappy...you're dealing with the form of hard time at present iknow. whats up, purely undergo in options one ingredient though, if someone has damaged your believe once or perhaps your danger, they wont change. they could change briefly yet no longer completely. i will tellyou truly love him because u gave him one danger and are heavily considering the 2d, yet is it worth it? What assure will you've that he gained't do it back? i imagine he ought to experience that you're ordinary to get round with so he doesnt options having affairs. you want to be agency and stick which includes your values. You deserve someone who loves you, and easily you, and also you deserve each and every little bit of happiness. that is extremely unhappy the way it befell so early in marriage. Mabye he's not correct for you...those 7 years may were large yet now he's shwoing his genuine colors...i truly imagine it is sweet to flow on. it is going to be hard besides the undeniable fact that it is not any longer no longer conceivable and u choose ot have believe in your self that you'll do it. Atleast do it on your daughters. Your husband needs to do not forget that he won't be able to have each and every thing...he won't be able to have 2 affiars, eye-catching toddlers, a loving spouse and then get forgiveness even as you conflict through by evyerthing...you want to make him understand the way damage you're. You too ought to have had an affair and left him initially yet you nevertheless forgave him, the 2d time he did it worse the position u can see that he did not truly repent. He knows he's pulling your very last straw and on account that of this he's doing something, yet after yet another twelve months hun, what if he has yet another affair? what's going to then you definitely? i understand deep interior you dont imagine it iwll artwork...you've had sufficient...you want to get on with existence. So do what you would possibly want to do...and be good. you aren't to any extent further incorrect, its no longer your fault... take care and solid success! i understand you could make it!
2016-10-15 03:59:31 · answer #2 · answered by asar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would just slowly put a distance in your friendship. Think of the kids safety and well being first. I suggest you tell her family members of her behavior and suggest she seeks professional help as well.. She needs rehab and get her life back together.
But try to help her before you walk away from her :) You both have been friends for a long time. Be honest with her and tell her how you feel and why you want to end your friendship with her. What do you have to loose? Best of luck to you :)
2006-07-24 08:40:14 · answer #3 · answered by young at heart 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh my god im so sorry. you should sit her down and make special time to talk to her about her problem, and show her all of the negative consequences that will result of her problem. make a list of things you want to point out. dont be hostile or reprimanding...thats the last thing people in her situation need. from the start, tell her you do not want to offend her and you are only doing it because you care for her. tell her about how u feel too! tell her that you are feeling like you need to get away from her, but because youve known her for so long and u care you dont want to give up on her or hurt her. suggest a psycologist or an Alcoholics Anonymous group, or a de-tox program. hope this helps and good luck.
2006-07-24 08:40:58 · answer #4 · answered by supergenius 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should found her some help. It would be helpful for your children. You maybe going through something and she rather hide it by drinking. You've been her friend to long to distant yourself. I know you must care for her, so the best thing you can do for her and her children is to find her help. If she don't want help, then you should tell her than you'll report her, because it's unhealthy for her kids to see her that way. She might get mad at you, but once she's stops, she'll be glad you care enough to help and not walk away from you'll friendship.
2006-07-24 08:42:29 · answer #5 · answered by hunny_bunny 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only person that can help her is herself. Tell her she is walking down a road of destruction and you will not walk down that road with her. Either she realizes she has a problem and gets help or else there is nothing more you can do even if that means calling off the friendship. It's never ever wise to borrow from other people's problems.
2006-07-24 08:47:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing is to be honest with her tell her how you feel although its not gonna be a comfortable situation. Someone needs to tell her. 2nd you have done your best to be her friend and let it go. Cause only SHE can want help NO ONE can force her. And as for your friendship if she is your friend she will value your opinion and hopefully heed it IF NOT then walk away sometimes it takes tough love. All wounds heal in time.
2006-07-24 09:02:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anita E 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell her what you observe and that you worry about her. You can also be very blunt and tell her that if she continues down this lane, you will not stick around for it to happen. I also think that you can tell her that you will not sit back and watch her children being abused in this way.
You need to give a worry-message to someone who can take those poor children away from her.
It is unforgiveable to leave these kids all by themselves with this grown-up who is not taking her responsibility. They are the ones going down the drain - not you. You can take care of yourself - they cannot. It is Ok for you to desert her, but not them!
Take action on their behalf.
2006-07-24 08:41:10 · answer #8 · answered by Tones 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell her straight forward that what she is doing is wrong. you have to help her through this. ask her if there is anything going on with her. try to help. ask if there is anything you can do to help her. if that doesnt work out i would just go with reverse cycology. tell her she would be drowning the friendship between you and her with all the alchohal she is drinking. if that doesnt work out just leave her and tell her that it was her choice. i know how this would feel. but time heals all wounds. maybe you could find new friends. and i am really sorry if this affends you.
hang loose and let yourself free
meeker the gypsy
2006-07-24 08:48:21 · answer #9 · answered by meeker the gypsy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her that she needs to get her life together because she has three kids to plan a life for and she needs help them through life and get her life back on track.cause if she doesn't then soon she'll be sitting at home all alone with no boyfriend ,because he won't be able to take it anymore and 3 kids that hate her because she didn't care for them and help them through life.
2006-07-24 08:43:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry this isn't an answer....but why in the world did Stephen (see above) report you? He's an idiot.
Don't let your friend drag you down. Try to send some positive energy her way.
2006-07-24 08:41:01 · answer #11 · answered by savagescorpio 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋