my ex recently married his girlfreind. she has five kids from 2 previous marrieges. when my kids go to thier home for visitation he is very cruel to them. but he behaves like a father to his stepkids. this hurts my kids.
2006-07-24 08:11:36 · 15 answers · asked by CF35 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Because if he doesn't he won't get laid! Besides if your break up was bad sometimes they resent the children because they are 'yours'. Personally my kids wouldn't go somewhere that they would be treated badly by someone else. He doesn't deserve to be with them and its probably destroying your children. I'd be 'busy' and have plans with the kids on 'his' weekends and he wouldn't mind if they didn't come would he? that would be the 'nice' way. However, if he's treating them that badly i'd tell him straight up that they are sad and hurt when they come home and you aren't going to spend your time trying to put them back together because he's an a$$ so if he wants to see them again he can change his attitude and treat them like his flesh and blood or he can take you to court cause it will be a cold day in hell before you voluntarily put your kids in a hurtful situation again. Maybe he'll do you all a favor and just disappear. You are the mom and your primary job is NOT to fix him, or worry about her kids and what he does with them, its to protect your children. I'll bet that as soon as you have a guy around that is good to the kids and who they love, he'll magically become daddy of the year again! Good luck!
2006-07-24 08:19:44 · answer #1 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell him how his kids are feeling. You need to hear both sides of the story, in order to make sure you kids are just not be a little jealous of his new living situation. It is possible that maybe they want more attention from therefore they may be misbehaving in order to get his attention, which in turn become negative attention. You both have to be mature about this. First sit with him and voice your concerns without being judgemental, then once you come to a conclusion, you should both sit with the kids and hear their side. They need to be reassured that just because you and their father are not together, you both love them very, very much.
If after doing all this, you feel that there really is a problem and they are just not being treated the way they should when they are there, then give them the choice of going or not. You can also suggest to your husband that maybe he should make dates with his kids. Where it's just him and them and no one else. They can do this once a week, or every two weeks or once a month. This will make them feel special in their father's eyes.
2006-07-24 15:23:19 · answer #2 · answered by BluePassion 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen to me darling it's hard to deal with the pain I know I have been there. I will try to make this short; man don't think the same way females do about their young (majority of men).. They feel their responsibility as ended once they leave their ex's. And of course new woman in their life they feel they have to look good that's why they act like a role model to the new kids. I understand where you are coming from. My ex husband promised me allot and I believed we where going to get back together boy was I naive and wrong but eventually he decided to start his life with someone new. I had called him a couple of times asking for help for his son His excuses were I don't have money nor the time. But has had a recent son that he didn't even had the guts to tell me I found out when I saw his new son. But don't worry he will get his eventually pay back is a b****. You need to not send your children to a place where they are not wanted, appreciated nor loved. Life experiences will make you a stronger woman. And remember the big guy up there don't forget about his single parent women; so be a good parent (mother) and do your best to take care of your children. I wish you all the best to you and your children. Be Strong...
2006-07-24 15:38:40 · answer #3 · answered by sweet_cherry_doll 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no common sense excuse for your ex husband ignorance and thank god you can call him your ex.
I would be glad that he is my ex if treats the kids cruel because we aren't together anymore when these kids suppose to be his.
Some ignorant people do take things out on the kids but again that's a lack of maturity in dealing with real life issues that make them act the way they do.
It is ignorant to say the least to treat or show favoritism between kids whether their all his or his new wife it just is a stupid and immature way to act.
If my children time with their father has to be subjected to cruel treatment, I would rather them stay home because they don't seem to be enjoying themselves in his presence.
To try to figure out why some people act in ignorant ways almost make me have to think ignorant in order to answer.
2006-07-24 15:24:51 · answer #4 · answered by words from the heart 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because if he treats your kids right, he might look bad infront of his new wife and God Forbid... You have to understand that to her your kids are a part of you and she feels threatened by them. She holds a grude aginst them cause at some point in time they had all her husbands love and affection. He has to treat her kids better because that's his new family now (that's probably what that ***** is telling him) Kids are smart and they know it's her and although it's not their fault the older they get the bolder they get. Just hope they don't grow up holding a grude aginst him for letting himself treat them that way. See it's things like this that really piss me off.
2006-07-24 15:24:38 · answer #5 · answered by Summer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is trying to impress his new wife. My ex wife was cheating with the man we divorced over and he had two kids. He tried desperately to get my kids to like him but had nothing to do with his own two. His son got sick and went to the hospital and the A** H*** wouldnt even buy pay for his son to have medacine. His ex wife called me crying and I went and bought his son medacine. The A** H*** never thanked me nor payed me back. And my ex wanted a jerk like him. Go figure.
2006-07-24 15:25:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There will come a day when he regrets what he has done, but it will be too late. He is a primo fool who is punishing his own children because of feelings he has for you...was he always this stupid??? You are lucky you escaped, but unfortunately, you will have to make the kids see things as they are...that it is NOT them he is rejecting, it is you...lie if you must, but try to make them feel ok with the situation. I wish you only good luck. Under NO circumstance, please do NOT condemn him, they will see with their own eyes with time. You need have no part in their condemnation.
2006-07-24 15:24:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you two not get along? He probably just can't stand you and the kids are a reminder of you and the relationship the two of you had together. Since, he can't take it out on you he takes it out on the kids.
2006-07-25 09:38:45 · answer #8 · answered by Coco 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has to be an angel to her kids, or the sex will stop. Also, if she doesn't like your kids, then he'll be rotten to them to please her. Bottom line is, he's more concerned with his sex life than with his kids.
Of course, if he was a gem, I'm betting he wouldn't be your Ex.
2006-07-24 15:18:25 · answer #9 · answered by SLWrites 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try not let your children see their father. Because you and your children are the past, he thinks he can take it out on your children and some how that will hurt you.
2006-07-24 19:13:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋