This girls 23 he has only known her a week but thinks hes got a special connection spiritually. Hes on the phone and internet constantly and she says she wants a baby? He wants to move to ireland (cork) but i wont support him financially or otherwise . Worried sick please help .How should i play this.?
2006-07-24 08:07:48 · 18 answers · asked by Treat 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
she doesnt seem to have a job and neither does he as he was supposed to start second year of I.T course at college in august
2006-07-24 08:26:23 · update #1
If he's 18 let him go, he'll see the harsh reality of life.
Either it will make him or break him, if it breaks him, welcome him back with open arms.
If it makes him, you've got cheap holidays for life.
2006-07-24 08:11:22 · answer #1 · answered by ogenglishman 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think you are very wise not to financially support him. If he wants to make a grown up move, let him be a man about it.
This has to be so hard on you and as a mother, my heart goes out to you.
However, I would have a long, heart-to-heart talk with him and give him all the scenarios that may happen: no chemistry, no family, short-term, homesick, work, education..everything. I would then let him go. As hard as it is, he's going to make up his mind and do what he wants. I will be willing to bet that he will probably end up coming back home soon anyway. Online love is definitely different than real life. When he realizes the real world is a lot harder than the virtual world, you'll have him back.
2006-07-24 08:18:06 · answer #2 · answered by barbramaq 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
God help you. If he must go, emphasise the plenty of time to have kids in the future aspect. Say things along the lines of either you were glad that you had/ wished you had given yourself a bit more time to enjoy yourself as a carefree adult before committing to parenthood for life. After all whats the rush? Also you might point out that jobs anywhere these days require mobility if people are to build a career. This is hard for professionals to manage and for people who do not have such a type of job, it means that a couple would likely have to separate to maintain even a modest standard of living.
2006-07-24 08:31:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe if u sat him down and asked him about goin over for a weekend here or there and maybe u should consider, letting her visit as well before makin a full on move away, but u still have to remind yourself he is 18 after all, and he has to get into the big bad world and make mistakes( if it will be a mistake ) and learn from them
2006-07-24 08:16:13 · answer #4 · answered by MissElection 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I were given married even as i replaced into pregnant with my first toddler. i replaced into 19. I now have 2 toddlers (quickly to be 3) who all have a similar father and too whom i'm nevertheless fortuitously married. I had my 2d youngster even as i replaced into 22 and that i'm now pregnant with my third toddler due in October. i'm now 26. i imagine after this one i'd be executed with having toddlers. Lol. also you may favor to have toddlers beforehand you're 35... that is somewhat late and may have an effect on your youngster's well being. also do not have toddlers to early both... i ought to assert after 20 yet beforehand 30.
2016-10-15 03:58:16 · answer #5 · answered by asar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He wants to get laid really bad, that will be accomplished plus he sees the chance for a relationship and being away from home, parents, being responsible all that stuff. I would only let him go if he applied to a school there and got in. Then there should be no problem because he will be on his way to a career and a future.
2006-07-25 06:38:42 · answer #6 · answered by Sagely 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there comes a time when they feel they are old enough just explain the consequences to him talking about his situation as a third party and find out what he says then re-allign the story based on his answers, if his answers contradict his actions let him go knowing that he made a wrong choice and he has a chance to correct his errors . then you have done your best but expect him back as he will definitely come back except if he now finds love and happiness with her. just don't let his decisions make you feel less than a sweet mother that you are.
2006-07-24 08:21:02 · answer #7 · answered by JBOY 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is 18 so techincally you cant do anything about what he does but if he wants to go to ireland and get married thats one thing but i would honestly be worried first for my son the second for this baby that could be brought into the world...tell you son to just think extremely hard about it and hope he makes the right decision...it does not sound like he is ready to be a father...but do not forbid him to not go because if he is as in love as he says he is it will only push him away from you...so just strongly urge him to reconcider
2006-07-24 08:20:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
unless you plan on physically stopping him...(which I don't recommend)...legally, he's 18 he can do as he wishes...you have no legal recourse on this...have a heart to heart with him and let him know how you feel about the issue... then...let him go, let him make his own mistakes, and hopefully, learn from them...of course, don't finance him, he can do that himself...or should be already anyway...he's 18, probably thinks he knows everything...he hopefully will wisen up later on, besides, you never know, it could work out...(doubtful though because of his age/ maturity level/ circumstances) also, a broken heart won't kill him but a terminal STD will, also, strongly urge him to wait on procreating, and to always use condoms and a good spermicide...Is his father in the picture?, have him have a man to man chat with him about it too...Good Luck!
2006-07-24 08:23:25 · answer #9 · answered by sortasunshine 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh dear... all you can do is sit down and talk to him. Try to understand how hes thinking and how he plans to support himself and this girl.. why not see if he'd like to invite her over to your house so you can meet her and see what she's like. If he spends time with her he might even change his mind about her. But as long as she's at your house u'll know whats going on and hes not too far from home... seems like a difficult one... good luck x
2006-07-24 08:55:17 · answer #10 · answered by Katy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that he dsoesnt even know her that well and hopw does he know that she isnt lying or anything like that they should get to know each other better and then make his own decisions but ur doing good getting worried because u dont even know the girl and she could even be a criminal or a drug dealer u never know
2006-07-24 08:16:26 · answer #11 · answered by tAkiiN liFe aSz iT cOmEs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋