For the last few years I have found myself getting angry often and I feel my temper flaring. It is not a good feeling and I find it difficult to control. I am 40 now and usually I am a passive friendly happy man. My life has not been going well lately (lost job, wife and kid) mostly due to my being unable to handle stress.
2006-07-24 07:51:01 · 8 answers · asked by elliot_trudeau284 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
"Anger is an emotional response to a grievance; real or imagined; past, present or future. Rage refers to an extreme degree of anger associated with a loss of calmness or discipline (in the case of human conduct).
Anger is an active emotion, as opposed to sadness and disappointment which are inactive. In other words, when one becomes angry it is usually with an intended purpose (whether feasible or not) of attacking the cause of the problem. In arguments, anger is often 'used' to supress opposition. "
So, you need to identify the underlying "grievance" and find a way to come to peace with this. Sounds easy, but this soul searching is typically long, and drawn out. First you'll have an "Ah-Ha" moment and blame it on your "Ex" ... then you'll dig a little deeper and then realize that your first girlfriend did this to ... then maybe a year later you'll realize that you saw your sister do this to her boyfriend ... blah-blah-blah.
OK, anger is destroying you now so I can also give you baby steps to temporaritly stop you from acting like a maniac:
1. SHUT-UP ... Yes, shut up and down for at least 1 hour a day. Turn off TV, Computer, phone, fax, get away from kids, and pets ... just be with yourself daily ... OK, you may want to start by doing this for 15 minutes twice a day until you are more comfortable withyourself.
2. Contract Mussels tightly and deep breaths - OK, anger has sit in and you're about to go off on what ever is nearest to you. Excuse yourself from the situation and then contract your mussels tightly while holding your breath ... then slowly exhale and loosen the mussels ... to this until you're calmer. If possible, stay away from what triggered you for 6 hours; initially, then as you get used to calming down faster, you can then lower this time.
3. Get exercise. If you wear your body out with exercise, chances are you'll have little or no energy to get mad (probably unrealistic) ... well, at least you're giving yourself a way to concentrate the anger into something else.
2006-07-24 08:16:02 · answer #1 · answered by Giggly Giraffe 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
At least you are aware of the problem and realize what it's already cost you in life. Stress is a fact of life, and handling it in a healthy way will be important for you to cut down on your anger problem. Have you tried counseling, or going to an anger management program? Think about why you get so angry. Write down the situations that cause your anger, and write down alternative ways to deal with that anger. In life, you cannot control any other person other than yourself. So learning how to react differently to circumstances will be critical in changing... because all you can change is you, not anybody else!! Meditation may help. So can visualization...when you feel yourself getting stressed, imagine a quiet, peaceful place and try to transport yourself there in your mind. I am not kidding; it can really work. But when you mentioned you are "passive," that isn't necessarily a good trait, either. Passive shouldn't mean taking abuse from anybody, or being a "doormat." Little things aren't worth getting upset over; you can't control bad drivers, long lines at banks, or other people's actions. Adjust your way of thinking and change yourself. Good luck with this!!
2006-07-24 08:02:51 · answer #2 · answered by 60s Chick 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Interesting question! I disagree in a bit for stress allows your mind to think negatively. In anger, it is more of emotion rather than the intelligence. In fear, it is what you react to the inner or outer stimuli. Reasons based on the three factors you have mentioned is not the best effective reasoning. But rather it is the time when your mind is relaxed. The conditioning of the mind is in the best form to reason out devoid of stress, anger and fear. Thanks for asking. Have a great day!
2016-03-16 04:34:55 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could very well likely be a condition that affects men (primarily) at that age 35-45. Look into getting some real diagnosis of the situation. I don't necessarily mean psychiatric or psychological help... Ask people that have know you very well--- They will tell you. From there you will know the next step.
2006-07-24 07:59:29 · answer #4 · answered by ••Mott•• 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well what I find helps is going out and cruise the strip for a young lonely hooker. Bring her to a dark secluded place and let out all your built up rage. Then clear your head and think about hiding the body. It might scare you at first but after a few times you'll see how fun and liberating it is. Trust me you'll feel better.....I always do.
2006-07-24 14:23:06 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
One strategy I have adopted is repetition of a word or phrase with spiritual associations repeating silently or loudly throughout the day. This is called psycho-spiritual intervention. I use OM or AUM.
http://www.eStressHelp.com
2006-07-25 11:09:04 · answer #6 · answered by bidia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to find the "real" source of your anger, and then deal with it. This may require professional help.
2006-07-24 07:55:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Join a martial arts class..that'll help much!
2006-07-24 07:56:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have just been handed the opportunity of a lifetime?
Calm yourself. Be at peace.
2006-07-24 07:57:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋