My friend, who is younger than me, just lost her virginity. That makes me the last in our group to have never had any sort of relationship with a guy- not even kissed or held hands or anything!! I feel such a slow-starter... It just really gets me down. I feel so eaten up inside.... There have been guys I tried it on with but I was just pushed away. Just feel like cryn alla time now...
Before you say, I am above the age of consent.
2006-07-24 07:50:48 · 36 answers · asked by Rox 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
This is probably hard to believe from your side of the fence, but I only felt like losing one's virginity was a big deal when I hadn't done it. It really isn't. And the fact that you haven't doesn't make you any lesser a person.
You say you've tried to chat up guys, but maybe you've come on a bit strong. I hope the ultimate goal with this hasn't been to lose your virginity.
It's different for everyone. In my group of friends, I was actually the first to lose it, but certainly not intentionally. Also, it reallly really didn't matter to me whether or not my friends were virgins or not. In fact a couple of my friends still are, yet it's not an issue. If your 'friends' make it an issue, I don't think the problem lies with you.
Please don't cry or lose sleep over this, just enjoy yourself and if you feel ready, then great. If it happens, then enjoy it, but don't waste time over something that isn't a big deal.
Hope that helped.
2006-07-24 07:57:34 · answer #1 · answered by yodellingdolphinofkirkwall 3 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Take it easy... you should try and do some other things that are fun for you and not be so preoccupied with finding a guy all the time. You need to center your life on other things that are important to you and start off from there.
And besides.. you are not alone. There's a lot of people who never had a relationship and feel like "the slow turtle" in the group of friends, and that certainly doesn't mean that you should pressure yourself to be like the others in you group. And you certainly shouldn't just give yourself to anyone. That will hurt your spirit.
Sometimes the wait is hard but someone will come around...
Someone who cares about you is what you need. Meanwhile, get involved in communal activities. Go see family. Go have fun. Go enjoy life.
I'm not sure to what age I'm giving advice to, but if you're college oriented, then focus on that because that will bring you to the top. When you are smart, the guys will come to you. And broadly, this goes towards any endeavor.
So there's no time to cry when you have so many things to do, so much to accomplish in your life. Pick yourself up... rub your feet with lotion and have a smoothie... It just makes things better.
If further sadness arises, go see a psychiatrist, but you know better. You know what you need to get yourself high in the sky again.
2006-07-24 08:08:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, you have something none of those other girls can ever get back. Do you really think the guys they gave it up too is going to be around forever. The chances are very slim to none. Your virginity is something I would make a man work for. I was the last one to get boobs in my class. Now I am a D cup. Yeah! Power to slow starters! But really, your fine. Don't get hasty and give yourself to someone who doesn't deserve you. Take a deep breath and enjoy your youth. That one guy is out there and you two will find each other. When the time is right you will know. One last thing, do it for you and not for a guy. Be selfish, your allowed.
2006-07-24 08:02:26 · answer #3 · answered by Building Beauty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was 18 (and a half!) when I first had sex, I didn't plan to wait that long, it just kind of happened. Many of my friends lost their virginity with one night stands, while they were drunk, or with guys they dated for about 3 weeks.
Although I was a bit older, I ended up having sex with a guy I had been with for six months, we were in a hotel in Paris, and although the sex wasn't great (1st time rarely is!) it was worth the wait.
Now, four years later, I'm still with the same guy, and many close friends have admitted to me that they regret how they lost their virginity. Its not something that they can change now, whats done is done.
So I'd say, don't worry about waiting, you can only lose it once so don't do it with some random guy who doesn't care at all.
It'll be worth it in the end!
2006-07-24 07:56:46 · answer #4 · answered by Rachel N 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some of the members of your group might be fibbing! Also it is not a race! #1 guys don't like girls who act desperate. GO with Pride, start hanging where there are guys. NOT bars Join a group or a club, IF you have any male friends ask them to be blunt and tell you what they see that you might change.
Hey in the last few months I was finally told that I always look Pissed off (scowling) and I have changed that and more people talk to me now.
2006-07-24 08:07:21 · answer #5 · answered by Augie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is your rush sweetie, Take your time and find someone worthy of such a honor. You might feel lonely, but I would rather be alone then be hung up with some guy who is only going to use you. I think maybe you need to go out and find some new people, There is a prince out there for you, but give him a little more time to find you. Please be careful, there are some sharks out there looking for someone just like you, so stay pure till you find that special someone....God bless us all..............
2006-07-24 07:55:32 · answer #6 · answered by totallylost 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was the last out of all my mates as well, and the first boy i slept with was someone who i went on to have a serious 3 year relationship with, which is something i do not have any regrets about unlike some of my mates.
It will happen when the time is right don't rush into something you may regret later on and don't stress flower.
take care x
2006-07-24 08:00:11 · answer #7 · answered by jojitsui 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust me, you want to hold on to your virginity as long as you can! You are not a slow starter and I want to commend you for waiting. Having sex isn't as great of an experience unless it's with someone who EQUALLY cares for you and loves you. You have nothing to be ashamed of and besides, it really is nobody's business to know whether you're sleeping with anyone or not.
I know it can be a bit awkward and to feel left out when you're with the girls, and everyone is sharing their sex stories, but if they were sincerely your friends, your friendship wouldn't be less of a value to them whether you were a virgin or not.
Believe me, the older you get, the less important it is whether your a virgin or not. This is coming from a 29 year old who has been in your shoes. Please be strong and don't give in to the pressure of losing your virginity until you know you are emotionally and physically ready to deal with the consequences of what being sexually active may entail and until you meet someone who is well worth giving yourself to.
I urge you to please be patient. You'll be very glad you waited..
Good luck :)
2006-07-24 08:03:59 · answer #8 · answered by Trixi Curious 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because they've done it and you haven't is no reason to do it. I'm guessing you feel isolated and alone---don't. There are others of both genders who, for one reason or another, are virgins. Make the time to get to know someone before "doing the deed" with him so that you won't regret it in 5 or 10 days....or 5 or 10 years....
2006-07-24 07:55:11 · answer #9 · answered by Dwight D J 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be proud that you are waiting for the right man to come along. Being with a man is not a race between friends to see who does it first, it's about love. When the time is right, it will happen for you. There are much more important things in life to think about than this.
2006-07-24 07:55:10 · answer #10 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋