how do you tell a man's wife that you were the last one he had sex with before he died?

Question

i have friend that is married and her husband stays away from home alot due to his job. she started talkin to one of his friend on the phone, he's married also, and stays in another town. Well the conversations got deep and he planned a trip to come and visit her. they slept together and he was on his way back home, about an hour and a half away, and he had a car accident about 35-40 minutes after sleeping with my friend. he didn't survive and his family had no clue that he went to visit his friend's wife.She went to the funeral and hugged his wife and mother and alot of others. she feels that she is the blame for him not being alive. but his mother is still asking questions about why he was in her area that late and why he was on the road? she wants answers and my friend has them but doesn't want to tell her. is she doing the right thing by not telling her or should she tell her and suffer the conceqeunces? I can't think of any good advice for her except pray and repent of her sins.

Answer 1

Don't tell her.

Answer 2

For starters how can you be for sure that they really did sleep together? were you there? Maybe your friend is just making up stories. And since it is his friends wife what would be the ? of him being in that area? He simply could of been coming back from looking for his friend and not finding him at home so was on his way back. Another thing if she feels she is to blame then why did she even go to the funeral. Why is the mother wanting answers and not the guys wife? Why rub salt in the familys wounds if it is true? The only one she should be honest with is her own husband. He is the one that should be told she is a tramp. The husband is working to support her *** and she goes and screws one of his friends. What she needs is a vibrator.

Answer 3

In death, the mother is too involved as she probably was in life. It's a sad story you tell. Really sad. Death can catch us at anytime in life - during moments of heroism or moments of shame. It's completely random, and that should be the message here to pass around to everyone -especially the mother.

Imagine her pain. Have you ever seen a mother dog separated from a pup? She looks, and looks, and smells everywhere to find this missing puppy. We share this biological trait with other mammals - and we experience it much more intensely because of our intelligence.

If she inquires, remind her that a highway death is random and can happen anywhere. If she discovers the affair by obsessively examining phone records, well, she may find out the truth. Let's hope not. She needs time to give up and simply grieve.

The mother's behavior deserves some examination, because it reflects some truth about bereavment. We seek to find cause, reason, or blame. These are intellectual processes that we use at times like that to relieve the ripping pain of emotional loss. By keeping that intellectual process going, it prolongs the pain and avoids the inevitable mourning that must occur.

Sin? That's a man's concern. But his family has no right to blame him for a random violent act. Does God judge like that? Who knows? Only the man who has died knows for sure. From us, he deserves everyone's love and fond remembrance no matter what he did.

Hope this helps.

Good luck

Answer 4

I would leave that alone. The widow has enough grief without adding more anger and possibly hate to it. The gal he slept with will now have to pay the price too. She will never forget it and it won't be a good memory. She needs to repent and ask God for forgiveness. . . but tell the wife now. This is not the time for true confessions. That time may come later as God allows. I pity them both (for different reasons).

Answer 5

You don't tell her unless you are a cruel and vindictive excuse for a human being. She's suffering enough over the loss of her husband. Anyone that would add to that suffering is heartless.

This is also none of your business. You should be concentrating on praying for the family of the deceased instead of judging others for their sins. The woman he slept with is feeling guilty enough. It's up to her to make it right between her and God.

Answer 6

I think your friend should keep her mouth shut. Why add to the pain a family is feeling, no good can come of it. She would only be hurting the people he loved. The guilt is something she will just have to deal with, when you do something wrong you suffer the consequences. Telling the family to relieve her own guilt, is selfish and stupid. Mouth shut and try to make better moral decisions in the future.

Answer 7

She feeling guilty and maybe thinks it's the right thing to do by telling what happened. But I would advise your friend to not say anything. If the man had lived it would have been up to him to tell his wife that he was unfaithful. But now that he's dead (and not here to clean up his mess) I really don't see any good coming of her saying that he did the deed with her and that's why he was out late in that area.
Tell to keep her mouth shut and if she believes in God pray for forgiveness.

Answer 8

I don't think it would do anyone any good if she told them the truth about what was going on. It would cause his family more hurt and pain to know that he was cheating on his wife and lying to them all. Just leave it alone and she should know it's not her fault. He could have gotten into an accident at any time, she had no way of knowing or preventing it. She has to forgive herself and move on with her life.

Answer 9

I would only pose the question - How would you feel 5 years from now to find out the husband you lost was not the husband to cherished? What if she finds out later?

Personally, I would not say anything unless there is the slightest chance someone with a big mouth knows.

Answer 10

That poor woman is suffering enough losing her husband. What good would come out of telling her this? That would be cruel and insensitive. Everybody needs to keep their fat mouths shut and let this woman alone!

Answer 11

She definately has a lot to pray about! I think she really needs to pray about it and then just go with her gut feeling..it never lies! If it would make her feel better to tell the wife what really happened, than she needs to tell her! It's all about her own conscience!