this is my worst fear, me and my ex broke up 6 mth ago i still love her but also accept she does not feel the same way about me although she does still like me , we have kids together and i feel obviously i have lost my family even though i still see all of them.
she said she wants to be single until the kids grow up but i know it is inevitable that if we never get back together she will meet someone else.
i love her and wouldnt cause any trouble and want her to be happy but the thought of someone else making love to her and been around my kids and enjoying the times with them that i want just makes me feel gut wrenchingly sick!
just wondered do you get used to the idea if you still love that person or is it going to hurt like a mother ffer? and hurt all the time
i know this will be a while off but i cant help the way i feel.
2006-07-24 07:35:43 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
am i wierd for feeling this way? the thoughts of someone else touching and kissing her?
why cant i just be a heartless bstard like some men and just go put it around?
i find other women attractive but cant picture making love to them or in a relationship what the hell is wrong with me.
2006-07-24 07:40:13 · update #1
It's like the death of a loved one ... the hurt diminishes over time but never fully goes away ... you'll learn to deal with it. At first, you begin by faking it (that it doesn't hurt you), and then one day you will realize that you don't have to fake it as much as you used to, and you actually are getting over her.
Don't rush yourself ... it all takes time.
2006-07-24 07:40:13 · answer #1 · answered by ♪ Nickels ♪ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is natural to have lingering feelings for someone that you love(d) very intensely after the relationship ends and more so when you share children with that person. The most important thing in this situation are you children. Though you still love their mother very much and it is natural to not be able to fathom that person with someone else, the reality for right now is it did not work out. You cannot dwell on what could be, or what should have been. You have to move foward for the sake of your children having a father who will be albe to love ans support them whole heartedly. Yes, it is going to hurt if and or when she moves on, but you need to focus on getting yourself together for the children. No one can predict the future, so stop obsessing over it. Think about why the relationship did not work out in the first place and just try to proceed forward.
As far as another man spending time with your children/ family. If you are present, your children will KNOW who their daddy is, and no man can replace the love they will always have for you!
Good Luck and try and smile! It will get better.
2006-07-24 07:43:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not weird at all, you love her.
Sorry about the situation. I do not want to make this worse for you, but I have no doubt that when she meets someone else, it will be really tougher for you.
You sound very reasonable in your approach and I am sorry she does not care for you enough to remain with you.
On the other side, if it is really over, what you r e a l l y need is to move one: see the good side of things (that you see the family etc), build on that and move forward. She is more likely to want you back if she sees that you are well, taking your life in charge etc. So, start with some stuff to clear your head: exercise, do things that really make you happy.
Everything happens for a reason. So once the pain is over, you'll be stronger.
Good luck to you.
2006-07-24 23:00:06 · answer #3 · answered by Claire 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with you babe you are one of these men that are hard to find but have ended up with a woman that I am shamed to say is the same sex.
It always seems to be the nice men that hook up with the bitches, and end up being walked over and you know if I was your mate then I would put you woman in her place, and that is coming from a female point of view.
It may be hard to think of her with someone else but it is part of life is she doesn't want you mate.
Go out and enjoy yourself, no I am not saying go out and sleep with anyone you can get your hands on, I am saying go out and have a ball and when you meet someone that is right then you will know about it as your feelings for your ex will fade.
I couldn't imagine my partner with another Birth but if we ever separated then I would have to deal with it without trying to kill them both... lol
You sound like an OK guy so get out there as your kids don't want a dad that it mental due to their mum twisting everything. so if not for you get out there and get your mind back to normality for your kids.
2006-07-24 08:00:09 · answer #4 · answered by ooooh look @ me, lol 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know this would be hard for you but you have to try and accept that there will come a time where your ex will meet someone else. Try and fill your life with as much social activities as you can so that you are not sitting in the house on your own dwelling on matters. When your ex does meet someone else it will not take away the fact that you are the kids father!! Be supportive of them and you never know you may meet someone else yourself.
2006-07-24 07:42:11 · answer #5 · answered by happyflamepepper 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It will hurt! I dont want to lie to you. My ex got married and had two kids and although we have not been together since 2001.It still hurt me a bit.You will find that the pain subsides once you find love again.True love that is!However dont get caught up in trying to mask the pain with distractions by forcing the issue.
2006-07-24 07:42:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel my bf of 6 years walked out on me and our son a month ago and when i think of him being with somebody else doing the things that i thought we would do it drives me insane,and of course i know i`ll want to kill her but i do think it`ll be easier if i meet someone first then i wont be sitting about imagining what their doing all the time.
2006-07-26 11:31:08 · answer #7 · answered by onlyme 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The truth- Its so awful to see your ex with another person, i didnt want this lady taking over my child, she even told my ex that she would help him get custody of her so that it would be only them two, and me out of the picture, i wanted to kill her, well ya know what i mean! It does hurt, feel that she took away my family.
2006-07-24 07:41:18 · answer #8 · answered by ~*Jenny*~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you still love her but does she feel that way about you? if she is still single and not seeing any one else then try to make amends for everything...dont give up in anyway especially because of the children.its not easy living with out parents...it could phycologically affect them...but if she doesnt...then you just have to try to bear that..
cheer up...take care
2006-07-24 07:54:22 · answer #9 · answered by rowena 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's natural but will get easier. be supportive of her and her choices, help out when u can when i comes to the children, (u never know she may fall in love with all over again, because she can see that u are willing to help and be supportive) stay friends and keep talking.
2006-07-24 07:41:50 · answer #10 · answered by storm.minx 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋