I just barely found out I was bi just recently and I dont know how to attract the same sex and I dont know how to tell if they are gay even please help... seriously... please!
2006-07-24 07:21:07 · 13 answers · asked by crackery 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
ps I am in highschool... and I cant go into bars
2006-07-24 09:43:23 · update #1
If you "just barely" discovered your homosexuality, imagine how many other guys out there might be in the same uncertain spot. And how many are married but secretly gay, and how many are gay but bluffing because they do not want to be out, and how many more are actually straight but send certain signals that can be read as gay? Yes, it's difficult.
So, as the other men suggest, try to get yourself into more places where you will meet mostly gay or bi men.
If you are hoping to sniff out the invisible gays in any kind of not-explicitly-gay environment, you are going to waste a lot of time and emotional energy. And if you have your eye on one guy in particular whom you wish to be homosexual and who you hope is willing to know you sexually, I don't think you will come up with a standard formula for ascertaining his sexuality without actually asking him.
Just be yourself and let other people know you are gay (as long as where you are it is safe to do so, that is). And really the best thing to do is to frequent the gay establishments in your area. Gay venues are not only bars and clubs, you know.
2006-07-24 07:55:42 · answer #1 · answered by fall2005buseng 3 · 10⤊ 3⤋
Hi Im not gay im a straight man and im not here to condemn anyone for what they do. What I am here to say and i think everyone has sort of overlooked this is that it is not normal to be gay. I know that offends you but its the truth because listen it takes a man and a women to create life and if it wasnt for straight ppl then gay people couldnt exist! what if everyone decided that being gay was so much better than being with the opposite sex? Then the world would destroy itself in a mere hundred years because no males and females would be creating life. Its only natural for the man and the women to be together because of the creation of new life. Two men can't do that no matter how good or right you think it feels.
2006-07-24 08:02:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
over time you will develope some sort of instict, often called gaydar that will help you identify others. In the mean time it is wise to ask someone.
As for attracting them, don't worry aout that. Be yourself and the guy will also find you as well. Get out there and meet some other bi/gay men and hang out with them. This type of bonding will help you understand a lot more. Have fun.
2006-07-24 07:33:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no sure fire test. But begin with eye contact. Straight guys won't usually make direct and sustained eye contact with another man.
Then get to know some of the men you find attractive. Make friends, and talk to them, it will come out. Don't try to hurry and and figure out every guy in the room. Work on one at a time. And good luck to you!
2006-07-24 09:44:25 · answer #4 · answered by michael941260 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to bars.
Go to a gay lesbian center near you.
Check craigslist.org and pick your metro area.
Read the advocate, out and xy magazines.
Go to gay.com.
Go to gay friendly coffee houses.
Dress nice and keep in shape.
Guys hit on each other using eye contact a lot. Look at guys in the eyes. You will be able to tell if they want you or not.
Have the courage to start a conversation.
2006-07-24 07:32:49 · answer #5 · answered by Think.for.your.self 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well your best bet is to go to a place where gay men hang out (bars/clubs). Gaydar is something learnt and requires full use of the eyes - watch them watching you look'em up and down and smile...that sort of body language thing.
Good luck in your search
2006-07-24 07:37:19 · answer #6 · answered by unclefrunk 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You just found out? Like someone just sent you a memo? That's odd. Good luck with that one. I don't think you should be worried about who you can attract until you know for sure what and who you want to attract or be with.
Perhaps you should consider holding off until you know for sure what it is that you are?
2006-07-24 07:51:42 · answer #7 · answered by Active Denial System™ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he wants to do your hair, redecorate your living room, can't help himself from refraining and dancing to house music, knows how to dress you and himself for a party, is creative in writing musicals, more then likely,....you know the rest. I got my gaydar up, I can spot them a mile away. Just a str8 eye identifying the queer guy.
2006-07-24 11:43:32 · answer #8 · answered by ticoman0719 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just ask, if the guy is comfortable with his sexuality hopefully if he's not gay he won't be offended.
It could be extremely awkward but not as awkward if you start flirting like crazy to someone and make them uncomfortable.
2006-07-24 08:24:03 · answer #9 · answered by Adam G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him, go to a gay bar, hang out where gay people are....
2006-07-24 08:11:50 · answer #10 · answered by M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋