why do friends hate? i am thin & i have a few friends that are overweight, found out they are talking about me

Question

bad thing is they said it in front of my daughter. i have never brought up the issue of weight. i was trying to be a true friend and look past the visible features. now i am the one with the hurt feelings. it is not my fault they are overweight. we are going on a trip together to the beach, how should i handle their comments?

Answer 1

I've actually had this happen also. I never understood why it is okay to make fun of thin people or comment on how "skinny" or small they are. If you don't say it in a nice way it hurts. A woman once asked my why my calves were so skinny, and I wanted to say why are yours so fat? but you can't b/c making fun of fat people is wrong, but making fun of small or skinny people is okay? I would just tell them that it hurt your feelings, and that you would never talk badly about them in any way and you deserve the respect of them not saying anything either. It will be awkward at first, but you will all get over it and hopefully remain friends. Oh and tell them if they say anything bad about you in front of your daughter then they can take there Fat asses and waddle off somewhere else.

Answer 2

Jealousy. Its human nature. There is prejudice against overweight people who for the most part are insecure to start with. Skinny people get all the attention and all the breaks all the time. I know this to be a fact. Because of that, fat people assume skinny people have it made in life.

I'm sure your friend didn't mean to make you feel insulted. It was wrong for her to say anything period. Especially in front of your daughter. I would bring it up just for that reason and that reason only.

There isn't anything you can do to make her feel better about herself except to encourage her to make better eating choices and tell her what a great friend she is outside of the previous comments. What you can do is not take the comments personally. The situation does need to be brought out in the open before you leave for the beach!

If it is really important to you how your friend feels, I would leave the thong string bikini at home and bring a one piece suit. I don't know why it matters, it just will.

Answer 3

Overweight people can be conceited and totally jealous. Many cannot tolerate a thin woman especially if they are also taller. They want to look like you so bad that it hurts. But to most skinny women it's like - what's the big deal? I once had a job with all huge ladies and it was a nightmare. It was backwards discrimination. On the other hand, some of my best friends are overweight and I don't even give it a second thought. I'd say something like - just because I look like a model and you don't doesn't mean that you have to be rude, because I'm not rude to you. I wouldn't pick friends like that who were overweight, just like I wouldn't pick a skinny snotty girl with her nose in the air for a friend who picks on fat girls and thinks she's better than everyone else for it either. You shouldn't let them around your daughter. You need new friends. One of my friends says - with friends like that - who needs enemies? Just because we're thin - doesn't mean those comments don't hurt us any less than the rude comments that have come their direction while being overweight. If you're trying to teach your daughter to see past differences like this - you need better role models.

Answer 4

Doesn't sound much like these r ur friends. I am the thinest of all my friends who each wears a size 10 or more compared to my size 2. They (4) all would love to be small but they know they have work to do to bring it down. Fortunately, I am not the model that they r trying to be like. U need to have a talk with them to find out what was said exactly(Sometimes kids can miscommunicate things) and let them know that U r their friend regardless of their size so Y does ur size matter to them so much. We Joke all the time about weight when I tell them I want to gain and they advise me in a friendly manner that I would rather be skinny than fat. Let them know they have hurt ur feelings and they r the ones with the weight issue.

Answer 5

You need to realize that the things people say about you are just the issues they have in their own brains coming out their mouths. This is the old don't let other people make their sh*t yours theory. The things they say don't change who you are or what you do or anything about you. Understanding this has made my life sooooo much easier in that I am no longer concerned about what other people say. However, in this case they are supposed to be your friends and they let their stuff come out their mouths in front of your daughter, this is unacceptable and I would certainly let them know that in no uncertain terms. I would say something like look i don't know what your issues are and i don't particularly care, i tried to care but for some reason you chose not to appreciate that or me however don't ever run your mouths in front of my daughter again. If you have an issue with me let me know and we'll deal with it but personally I left high school quite some time ago and with it this kind of crap. You people obviously aren't who I thought you were so get your fast a s s e s out of my house! Yes you are fat and I am not, well thats all about you and not me so don't expect me to apologize for it. Then you go shopping for some new friends who have enough self respect that they don't feel the need to talk badly about other people to make themselves feel accepted. Good luck to you! The old adage...with friends like that who needs enemies defintely applies here, and in the future have thin friends who won't resent you! LOL seriously though good luck!

Answer 6

Sounds like they are jealous of you and the figure that you have and they don't. They are as you have found out not true friends. Maybe you should cut down on your trips with them and visits with them. Make new friends. Just so you realize not all overweight women behave this way. While they might be jealous of those figures, they might work harder to lose the weight they have and you are someone they can admire. Good Luck.

Answer 7

Yes, there seems to be jealousy on their side. Now you know why thin people should be friends with thin people, it never works out.. You know the old saying.... Friends have everything in common. It is true to some extent. The rich are not "best friends" with the poor because the rich become bored and the poor become jealous or they feel left out. Oh, just become a chicken and start laying eggs!!! YOu'll feel much better!

Cluck Cluck!
The tall chicken bandit strikes again!!!!! Here's some eggs for you!! OOOOOOOOoooooooo0000000000OOOOOOoo

Answer 8

Just forget their comments and eat a double cheeseburger in front of them. Don't ever apologize for being the way you are. Sounds like those women are a little jealous. At the beach put on your swimsuit and be proud of who you are. After the trip...get some new friends. Good Luck!

Answer 9

They are just jealous. A real/true friend wouldn't make any comments, positive or negative towards the other. Do you really want to go to the beach with them? Wear your best sexy, skinny clothes. I am thinner than all of my friends and have the biggest boobs, nice butt and chicken legs. We all tease each other in friendly ways so none get hurt. Accentuate the positive and ignore the rest.

Answer 10

Listen here little momma...Friends don't hate...They are not friends...Sometimes every once in awhile, a true friend can experience something called "frienvy" where they start to feel jealous of their friend and dont' know how to express it other than hating on you, but they realize it and stop. But sometimes there are people who just have so much hatred towards themselves that they can't see it's them and they hate...
I have been friends with a girl for like 20 years and she has always put me down because I'm light with really long hair. I don't look at it as her hating though. I just know it's something she has to deal with within herself and I know that she will never admit that it's something that is her problem and not mine...Figure out if these friends are like that or if they are really just out to get you.