Should I just say I'm a lesbian?

Question

Ok, I've always considered myself bisexual- for over 13 years now, however, I was told by a lesbian that if I want to find a gf I need to just say I'm a lesbian/gay, instead of bi. BUT, when asked about my last relationships, they've been with guys- at least the most recent ones, I'm not gonna lie, so what should I say? Also, being bi I've never felt like I truly fit in with the GLBT community, I know it's probably my own hang-up, but I'm def. more girly, dress like a girl (well don't wear dresses, but don't wear boxers either lol), have long hair, wear lipstick, and want women who are similar, or at least that look like women(not a jab, my close lesbian friends look like boys). So, maybe the question should be: Are there any femme bi's/lesbians out there who don't mind a femme bi girl who is looking for a commited relationship with a woman? If I found that- yes, I would identify as a lesbian (btw). Wow, this got a lot longer than I was planning! Let's see if ANYONE answers!

P.S. I'm not confused about WHAT I want, just about how to go about getting it~ Thank you. I thought that was clear, I guess not- don't wanna be considered a "sham"!!! LOL!

Answer 1

If you are a bisexual woman then you should say you are bi, because you're not a lesbian and not straight. Telling people you are bi helps other bisexuals to "come out" in be heard in the gay/lesbian community as well as the straight world. There are many femme girls that like other femme girls, bi and lesbian, they are just harder to spot.

There is a myth that bisexuals can just pick whatever they like more that day, which is false. If a bi girl marrys a guy she is still bi, she doesn't turn straight. And the other way around if a bi girl is with another girl she is still bi, she does not turn into a lesbian. So if you are bisexual, say it. Be proud. Tell people that you're here and they can just get over it.

Answer 2

Women like the L Word's do exist; I am continually surprised by all these femme lesbians I run across. As for what to label yourself; it's a personal decision. If you consider yourself bisexual, than call yourself bisexual. As a gay man my only hang-up with dating bi-men is that many talk about "yeah, I am bi., but later in life I want to get married to a woman, and have kids. That's already dooming the relationship. If you're not like that then I say more power to ya, just honesty.

Answer 3

You're always going to have an issue fitting in the lesbian and gay community because Bi's are not as respected, because we consider bisexuals just greedy people. I'm a lesbian, who doesn't wear high heels and makeup, but I'm extremely girly, I just don't like what makeup does to your face, and high heels hurt after a while, and I don't like dykes. I like a femme woman, who can dress down or dress up and be down to earth. But hey, as long as your into the person, and they feel the same, then you shouldn't have a problem being with someone as long as the feeling is mutual.

Answer 4

I think many lesbians are scared to commit to someone who identifies as bi because they are afraid she will leave them for a man. This could be due to past experiences, inadequacy issues, or a number of reasons.

However, I don't think it would be wise to lie about your sexuality. Later on in the relationship, it could cause big problems, like trust issues.

My advice would be to simply wait for the right girl to come along. Not all lesbians have problems dating a bi girl. Also, another bisexual might not have the same feelings about men as a lesbian might. In fact, for her to have them would be hypocritical.

Oh, and by the way, I am a lesbian and I don't feel like I fit in with the GLBT community. Probably because I'm not a stereotype, or maybe it's just because they think I'm weird... lol. Anyway, I wouldn't worry too much about what "the community" thinks.

Answer 5

Just because you would be in a relationship with a female you are still a bisexual. I think that you should be honest and say that you've had relationships in the past with males but now you would like a commitment with a female. A lot of the lesbians tend to stay away from bisexuals so you just want to be up front and honest in the first place. If you were to date a lesbian and she found out that you have identified as bisexual it might ruin your relationship.

Answer 6

That's a tough one. I'm a gay male, but that doesn't mean I'd NEVER date a woman again...as long as she knew what she was getting into. I don' t think I could ever have an exclusive relationship with a woman, but when I dated women in the distant past, I had a good time, it wasn't gross or anything like that. So if I'm checking boxes, I say that I'm gay. Face to face I might say something like I'm more or less gay, or I'm basically gay, or I'm generally gay. When asked to explain, I'll say, well , I'm gay...but that doesn't mean I hate women or don't even have a good time with them. But a woman is not what I'm looking for. I don't know what I'd do if I just found one.

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Answer 7

when you tell a gay person you are bi they hear 'im straight but will dabble in gay sex.' So yes, to have a relationship with a female you do need the label lesbian. Not all lesbians are butch. Be a lipstick lesbian. As far as your last relationship goes, explain to them that you have just come out. Ive liked men all of my life but I can talk about my past straight relationships.

Answer 8

Well, happen to be bi. I dont have a problem finding a girl friend eather. Ive been out with plenty of lesbians. If your bi there's nothing you can do about it, and anyway hiding it from your gurl that you like guys 2 isnt exactaly a truthful relationship. Tell um ur bi and then get a guy and gurl in bed :P 3sum's r so much fun :P

Answer 9

nicely, you of course have not met me and my lady buddy ;) i think of you're in simple terms specializing in butch lesbians who are not defined or recognized as particularly - and you're actually not branching out and thinking that the gorgeous lady jogging next to you on the line must be gay. Get exterior of that lesbian butch container and comprehend that any you would be gay. I the line to looking your existence better half is complicated for each individual. I recommend, valuable, people locate them quicker in existence and then some later so the time is diverse, however the line is a similar in my view. at some point, all of a sudden, somebody will arise and you will sense it. you will comprehend. you may on no account be valuable of whilst. I met my lady buddy (i won't be ready to stand the notice better half) by my former roommate who truthfully had a weigh down on her first. She had long brown hair, brown eyes, tanned skin, great hands and a butt on her. It grew to become into each and every little thing i grew to become into searching for bodily and as quickly as I regarded into her eyes it grew to become into each and every little thing i grew to become into searching for emotionally. I had a woman buddy on the time who I wasn't so into and approximately 2 weeks later I went after the girl I knew I might desire to be with. it particularly is been a 300 and sixty 5 days now and my determination grew to become into the ideal one among my existence so a great way! good success on your seek. persistence is best.

Answer 10

Be you and quit trying to put a label on yourself. Hang out in heavily populated LGBT areas, and approach the type of females that you are looking for. There are plenty of femmes out looking for the same thing, you just have to find them.