Unexpected pregnancy - what kind of advice do you see?

Question

My g'friend of only 6 months became pregnant nearly 10 months ago. We're due in 2 weeks! The "Oh, ****" period of time lasted a few months. In that time, I searched for books to help me cope and give me advice. However, all I found were books about 'unexpected pregnancies' between couples that had been together for years, were planning on getting married or were already married. Nothing for single couples that had just met each other. Any advice on what's out there and do you think there's a need for such a book? I'm thinking of writing one w/ the title "Oh, ****! We're having a baby! :O"

sorry - to carify: we only knew each other 6 months before she became pregnant. Pregnancies last 10 months - she's 9.5 months currently

Answer 1

I think a book with that title would sell great. The preparations for the baby itself aren't any different for your situation than a traditional one. The great thing is that you apparently have accepted this child into your life and are will to raise it as your own. Good for you. My husband's best friend did this same thing and they've been married for almost 5 years and have two more kids together. My dad met my mom after I was born, but still raised me like his own as well. If you want resources, try looking for things that deal with being an adoptive parent. They will apply more to you personally. Congratulations and best of luck.

Obviously this kind of thing happens more than once in a while, so a book of this topic, whether so titled or not, would be beneficial to "fathers" such as yourself. What a great resource that would be for them.

Answer 2

Oh, wow, that's funny!...your title that is!
And years from now, you will be sitting back laughing at this!
Take it from me.
I am a single mother of 2 boys , 9 and 14. They are my life. But at first, after only knowing the father for 2-3 months, I was pregnant! Yes, I know how you feel! It all will work out the way it should, be sure of that. To help you cope with this checking out books, magazines, movies, etc...anything you can will definitely help! Tremendously! So dont stop looking. Online access is an extremely helpful tool that I didnt have when I became pregnant. I wish I could tell you what is a good book out there, but I dont have a clue. The only thing I CAN tell you is you are doing the right thing by trying to gain support from people and gain education. Education/knowledge about your situation is the very best thing you can get to understand, cope, and turn this situation into an extremely successful one!!!
Good Luck!! and if you would like someone to talk to thru this thing, you are very welcome to email me....we can penpal back and forth....I'm full of answers when it comes to an unexpected pregnancy/parenthood and will do whatever I can to shed my small light of knowledge if you have any questions.
Kudos for reaching out!!!!!

Answer 3

So you have been together for 6 months, but she was pregnant when you met her?? I'm just clarifying because it sounds like you plan on taking responsibility for the baby. I think it's extremely commendable that you have an interest in raising the baby, and honestly, your language "we're having a baby" suggests that you're already committed to your girlfriend.

The best advice that I can give you - as someone who has had a child both in and out of wedlock - is that having a child is the hardest thing you'll ever do in your life.

People will tell you that you're going to lose sleep, but you don't really know what it's like until you do it. The same goes with your relationship - you're not going to know what happens until it happens. But, if you have a good foundation, then you will both be made stronger by any test that you're given - including children.

I don't know of any good books that would have what you're looking for - but I suspect that you are probably a decent person and that you will act responsibly and genuinely. I know how scary it is to be faced with an unknown prospect, but you have to remind yourself all the things you know - you know you'll be a good dad, you know you'll learn what you can and do the best you can, no matter what happens.

Good luck to you and congratulations on your happy news. Everything is going to work out the way it's supposed to.

Answer 4

well.... all I can say is hold on tight... and enjoy the ride... although you may not know the person very well.. you have to realize that the baby was made and I assume you both decided to keep it. The ride is going to be bumpy and very rough especially if you two choose not to be together. The thing is that now you are a father... and you have many responsibilities you have to take care of now. I hope that you are going to stick around for the child. There should be a book and I am sure there is one out there but when it comes to raising a child you just have to use what you know and how you were raised and rely on your parents and grandparents to help you. The best thing could also be counseling.. that would help if you have any issues about this new addition and how to handle it.

Answer 5

lol After this experience, it might be a good book to write. Though I admit, something doesn't quite add up here. You guys with friends with benefits or something beforehand? You should be specific about that. Another thing, how did she get pregnant nearly 10 months ago and still not be due for another 2 weeks? Are you talking lunar months (some online calenders will do that to ya) because 10 months is too long for a pregnancy.

Answer 6

The best advice advice I could give you is to love that baby like nothing in the world. be a good dad. And I think it would be great if you wrote a book about unexpected pregnancy. Give it a comical twist and it should sell well. I promise you, the first time you hold that child in your arms all this fear will melt away and you will become fearcely protective. Congratulations Daddy!

Answer 7

ummm ya, there is probably a reason that you are only finding books for married couples.. and thats because you should not be messing arround like that when you arent married. you know what you need to do now? Become a real man and marry the girl you nocked up. have some respect. her parents will respect you much more for it too. Oh, and if you havent figured it out yet, you need to buy baby stuff.

Answer 8

Perhaps you should rewrite your question? She became pregnant nearly 10 months ago and due in 2 weeks? WE'RE due? You've known each other for 6 months, so the next question is who's the father???

Answer 9

Um.. Honey Pregnancys last only 9 months(40 weeks). As for you and your girlfriend, you have had time to talk threw your options. By now you should know what your plan is. If you still dont you can always consider adoption, and for next time use birth control every time if you dont want a baby.

Answer 10

I totally understand we did not expect to get pregnant although we had been together for 4.5 years. I think that there definitely needs to be a book for parents that arent married and not expecting to get pregnant. I think that if there was more help out there abortions would be reduced.......... I am glad to hear that although you guys hadnt been together long you are trying.................. Good luck to you guys and congrats!!!!