I've been married for 6 years. I love my husband but he treats me badly. I don't want to split up but long for some love and affection and he never gives me it. He's a good man though. I am flirting with another man and i find him very attractive. He feels the same. We live miles apart so it would only be an occasional thing.
2006-07-24 06:22:40 · 41 answers · asked by funtastic 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
are you crazy?
if your husband treats you badly tell him but not to suddenly. make him something to eat and ask him if you can talk to him tell him how you feel.and if he doesnt care i thnk you should try one more time and if it still doesnt work, that the relationship with that guy wont even be counted as an affair and besides you'll be more worried about those divorce papers getting thruogh okay. or you could cheat on him which would make you just as bad and end up carrying this burden of guilt for god knows how long. the choice is yours.
2006-07-24 06:49:46 · answer #1 · answered by ♥āngelic♥děmon♥ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You say that your man is a good man but if this were the case you wouldn't be thinking about having an affair. Your husband is not a good man if your saying he treats you badly. I'm sure there are some good qualities about him in other areas of his life. Have you tried telling your husband all of this? If you have told him how you felt with this then he's asking for you to go out here and cheat with someone. If you havn't then he doesn't even realize there is a problem. I don't think it would be a good idea to cheat on him right now because you might have sex with this other man and feel worse about the whole situation after it's all over with. Talk to your husband make it clear to him that you don't get the love and affection you yearn for from him. If you have to write it all in a letter and put it in his car so when he leaves for work he will see it, or put it in his underwear drawer. Anywhere he will be able to see it, but make sure your not around when he reads it. Let out all of your emotions, don't hold back anything. Tell him how serious this is for you. he should get the picture that if he doesn't make some changes things could look bad for him. Always put forth the hardest effort you can first, when you have come to a dead end then you can say to yourself I have tried my hardest and not feel like you didn't even try. If your husband doesn't shape up in the future You really need to consider whether or not you deserve more happiness and love out of your life. Don't settle for a life like this if you don't have to. You deserve all the happiness that you can get.
2006-07-24 06:54:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, funtastic, you should not have an affair. If your husband treats you badly and does not give you love and affection, then he is not a good man. Either he changes, which is unlikely, or you need to leave him. Having an affair will only compound your problem. Your husband will eventually find out, and your relationship with your husband will become even worse. Life is short. Make your life more positive by taking positive steps toward happiness.
2006-07-24 06:36:18 · answer #3 · answered by Flame 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh god this is a difficult one, I've been there, tried to give him the benefit of the doubt etc, but sweetheart all it led to was more abuse and it got worse and real physical. If you feel like having an affair just to feel loved then you need to get out of there, I left my husband of 13 years (for other reasons) I was terrified and had 4 kids to look after, but here I am 6 months on, in a loving relationship with a divorced guy who understands. Don't make yourself the bad one by having an affair, end it and do it now, good luck and god bless (and I aint even religious)
2006-07-24 07:21:28 · answer #4 · answered by jacjac 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, do not have an affair. My boyfriend has cheated on me. He was going to do just an occasional thing, but he ended up with over 20. It hurts no matter what, and you need to spend some time with your husband. Let him know you care, and maybe he'll give you some more affection. If he doesn't, find another way to grab his attention. Don't ever have an affair with anyone no matter how the situation is.
2006-07-24 06:33:29 · answer #5 · answered by Aera Kiasaki 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you ever get to the point where you are questioning whether to cheat or not, then there must be something wrong in your relationship. In which case, rather than 'running away' or creating more problems, you should sit down and talk things through. And even if there are issues that can't be resolved, you should go your separate ways, only then should you think about seeing another person. You don't mention children, but think what a messy divorce would do to them (and it would be much messier if there were other people involved, rather than just an amicable split).
2006-07-24 06:32:29 · answer #6 · answered by Rachel N 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the attraction is mutual and you are comfortable with it, then go for it. Its your life - why should you feel miserable because your husband wont give you any attention/compassion?
In 10 years time, if youre in the same situation, then you will regret not opting out of the relationship. By being with a new man - it will make things clear to you about what/who you want.
In this life - you have to put number 1 first.
2006-07-24 06:36:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's the perfect solution! You can keep your husband around, whom you love for no reason, so that he can support you as a husband AND you can live out all your sexual fantasies with another man. Now there's a marriage worth keeping together. You are one hell of a wife. If he really treats you so damn badly leave his ***. Or is it just easier to hide and make excuses about why not to leave him.
"Oh woe is me. My husband is horrible but i just can't bear to leave him because i love him oh so much. Now I'll show my love by going out and cheating on him."
Great choice that would be. Again, i commend you for being so honorable and taking the high road. I can only dream that my future wife could be as saintly and giving as you obviously are.
2006-07-24 06:30:09 · answer #8 · answered by jdscorrupted 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have answered this yourself, No. If you love your husband work it with him talk to him. If this don't work give him the silent treatment. Have you both thought about seeing an counsellor? Don't start an affair. If your marriage is truly over get out. Then if this other man does like you he will wait until you are free. But ideally give it some time.
2006-07-24 06:29:59 · answer #9 · answered by jules 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do it! Two wrongs don't make a right plus you carried out the vow for better and for worse!
A marriage is a commitment! If he treats you badly deal with this in other ways! Communication is the key! Why do you want to stay with someone who hurts you? If you are looking for love leave him and find love on your own and not in married life!
Jamesey
2006-07-24 06:43:12 · answer #10 · answered by Jamesey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋